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+Title: Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World
+Author: Jonathan Swift
+
+GULLIVER’S TRAVELS
+
+into several
+
+REMOTE NATIONS OF THE WORLD
+
+
+BY JONATHAN SWIFT, D.D.,
+
+dean of st. patrick’s, dublin.
+
+[_First published in_ 1726–7.]
+
+cover 
+
+Contents
+
+
+ THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.
+ A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON.
+ PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
+ PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
+ PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, GLUBBDUBDRIB, LUGGNAGG AND JAPAN.
+ PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.
+
+
+THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.
+
+[_As given in the original edition_.]
+
+
+The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and
+intimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on the
+mother’s side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of the
+concourse of curious people coming to him at his house in Redriff, made
+a small purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark, in
+Nottinghamshire, his native country; where he now lives retired, yet in
+good esteem among his neighbours.
+
+Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his father
+dwelt, yet I have heard him say his family came from Oxfordshire; to
+confirm which, I have observed in the churchyard at Banbury in that
+county, several tombs and monuments of the Gullivers.
+
+Before he quitted Redriff, he left the custody of the following papers
+in my hands, with the liberty to dispose of them as I should think fit.
+I have carefully perused them three times. The style is very plain and
+simple; and the only fault I find is, that the author, after the manner
+of travellers, is a little too circumstantial. There is an air of truth
+apparent through the whole; and indeed the author was so distinguished
+for his veracity, that it became a sort of proverb among his neighbours
+at Redriff, when any one affirmed a thing, to say, it was as true as if
+Mr. Gulliver had spoken it.
+
+By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the author’s
+permission, I communicated these papers, I now venture to send them
+into the world, hoping they may be, at least for some time, a better
+entertainment to our young noblemen, than the common scribbles of
+politics and party.
+
+This volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not made
+bold to strike out innumerable passages relating to the winds and
+tides, as well as to the variations and bearings in the several
+voyages, together with the minute descriptions of the management of the
+ship in storms, in the style of sailors; likewise the account of
+longitudes and latitudes; wherein I have reason to apprehend, that Mr.
+Gulliver may be a little dissatisfied. But I was resolved to fit the
+work as much as possible to the general capacity of readers. However,
+if my own ignorance in sea affairs shall have led me to commit some
+mistakes, I alone am answerable for them. And if any traveller hath a
+curiosity to see the whole work at large, as it came from the hands of
+the author, I will be ready to gratify him.
+
+As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader will
+receive satisfaction from the first pages of the book.
+
+
+                                                     RICHARD SYMPSON.
+
+
+A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON.
+
+Written in the Year 1727.
+
+I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be called
+to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed on me to
+publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels, with
+directions to hire some young gentleman of either university to put
+them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier did, by my
+advice, in his book called “A Voyage round the world.” But I do not
+remember I gave you power to consent that any thing should be omitted,
+and much less that any thing should be inserted; therefore, as to the
+latter, I do here renounce every thing of that kind; particularly a
+paragraph about her majesty Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious
+memory; although I did reverence and esteem her more than any of human
+species. But you, or your interpolator, ought to have considered, that
+it was not my inclination, so was it not decent to praise any animal of
+our composition before my master _Houyhnhnm_: And besides, the fact was
+altogether false; for to my knowledge, being in England during some
+part of her majesty’s reign, she did govern by a chief minister; nay
+even by two successively, the first whereof was the lord of Godolphin,
+and the second the lord of Oxford; so that you have made me say the
+thing that was not. Likewise in the account of the academy of
+projectors, and several passages of my discourse to my master
+_Houyhnhnm_, you have either omitted some material circumstances, or
+minced or changed them in such a manner, that I do hardly know my own
+work. When I formerly hinted to you something of this in a letter, you
+were pleased to answer that you were afraid of giving offence; that
+people in power were very watchful over the press, and apt not only to
+interpret, but to punish every thing which looked like an _innuendo_
+(as I think you call it). But, pray how could that which I spoke so
+many years ago, and at about five thousand leagues distance, in another
+reign, be applied to any of the _Yahoos_, who now are said to govern
+the herd; especially at a time when I little thought, or feared, the
+unhappiness of living under them? Have not I the most reason to
+complain, when I see these very _Yahoos_ carried by _Houyhnhnms_ in a
+vehicle, as if they were brutes, and those the rational creatures? And
+indeed to avoid so monstrous and detestable a sight was one principal
+motive of my retirement hither.
+
+Thus much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself, and to
+the trust I reposed in you.
+
+I do, in the next place, complain of my own great want of judgment, in
+being prevailed upon by the entreaties and false reasoning of you and
+some others, very much against my own opinion, to suffer my travels to
+be published. Pray bring to your mind how often I desired you to
+consider, when you insisted on the motive of public good, that the
+_Yahoos_ were a species of animals utterly incapable of amendment by
+precept or example: and so it has proved; for, instead of seeing a full
+stop put to all abuses and corruptions, at least in this little island,
+as I had reason to expect; behold, after above six months warning, I
+cannot learn that my book has produced one single effect according to
+my intentions. I desired you would let me know, by a letter, when party
+and faction were extinguished; judges learned and upright; pleaders
+honest and modest, with some tincture of common sense, and Smithfield
+blazing with pyramids of law books; the young nobility’s education
+entirely changed; the physicians banished; the female _Yahoos_
+abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good sense; courts and levees
+of great ministers thoroughly weeded and swept; wit, merit, and
+learning rewarded; all disgracers of the press in prose and verse
+condemned to eat nothing but their own cotton, and quench their thirst
+with their own ink. These, and a thousand other reformations, I firmly
+counted upon by your encouragement; as indeed they were plainly
+deducible from the precepts delivered in my book. And it must be owned,
+that seven months were a sufficient time to correct every vice and
+folly to which _Yahoos_ are subject, if their natures had been capable
+of the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far have you been
+from answering my expectation in any of your letters; that on the
+contrary you are loading our carrier every week with libels, and keys,
+and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts; wherein I see myself
+accused of reflecting upon great state folk; of degrading human nature
+(for so they have still the confidence to style it), and of abusing the
+female sex. I find likewise that the writers of those bundles are not
+agreed among themselves; for some of them will not allow me to be the
+author of my own travels; and others make me author of books to which I
+am wholly a stranger.
+
+I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to confound
+the times, and mistake the dates, of my several voyages and returns;
+neither assigning the true year, nor the true month, nor day of the
+month: and I hear the original manuscript is all destroyed since the
+publication of my book; neither have I any copy left: however, I have
+sent you some corrections, which you may insert, if ever there should
+be a second edition: and yet I cannot stand to them; but shall leave
+that matter to my judicious and candid readers to adjust it as they
+please.
+
+I hear some of our sea _Yahoos_ find fault with my sea-language, as not
+proper in many parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my first
+voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest mariners,
+and learned to speak as they did. But I have since found that the sea
+_Yahoos_ are apt, like the land ones, to become new-fangled in their
+words, which the latter change every year; insomuch, as I remember upon
+each return to my own country their old dialect was so altered, that I
+could hardly understand the new. And I observe, when any _Yahoo_ comes
+from London out of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither of us
+are able to deliver our conceptions in a manner intelligible to the
+other.
+
+If the censure of the _Yahoos_ could any way affect me, I should have
+great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as to think my
+book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and have gone so
+far as to drop hints, that the _Houyhnhnms_ and _Yahoos_ have no more
+existence than the inhabitants of Utopia.
+
+Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of _Lilliput_,
+_Brobdingrag_ (for so the word should have been spelt, and not
+erroneously _Brobdingnag_), and _Laputa_, I have never yet heard of any
+_Yahoo_ so presumptuous as to dispute their being, or the facts I have
+related concerning them; because the truth immediately strikes every
+reader with conviction. And is there less probability in my account of
+the _Houyhnhnms_ or _Yahoos_, when it is manifest as to the latter,
+there are so many thousands even in this country, who only differ from
+their brother brutes in _Houyhnhnmland_, because they use a sort of
+jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for their amendment, and not their
+approbation. The united praise of the whole race would be of less
+consequence to me, than the neighing of those two degenerate
+_Houyhnhnms_ I keep in my stable; because from these, degenerate as
+they are, I still improve in some virtues without any mixture of vice.
+
+Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so degenerated
+as to defend my veracity? _Yahoo_ as I am, it is well known through all
+_Houyhnhnmland_, that, by the instructions and example of my
+illustrious master, I was able in the compass of two years (although I
+confess with the utmost difficulty) to remove that infernal habit of
+lying, shuffling, deceiving, and equivocating, so deeply rooted in the
+very souls of all my species; especially the Europeans.
+
+I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion; but I
+forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely confess,
+that since my last return, some corruptions of my _Yahoo_ nature have
+revived in me by conversing with a few of your species, and
+particularly those of my own family, by an unavoidable necessity; else
+I should never have attempted so absurd a project as that of reforming
+the _Yahoo_ race in this kingdom; but I have now done with all such
+visionary schemes for ever.
+
+_April_ 2, 1727
+
+
+PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+The author gives some account of himself and family. His first
+inducements to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life, gets
+safe on shore in the country of Lilliput; is made a prisoner, and
+carried up the country.
+
+
+My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the third of
+five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College in Cambridge at fourteen years
+old, where I resided three years, and applied myself close to my
+studies; but the charge of maintaining me, although I had a very scanty
+allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune, I was bound apprentice
+to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon in London, with whom I continued
+four years. My father now and then sending me small sums of money, I
+laid them out in learning navigation, and other parts of the
+mathematics, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed
+it would be, some time or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr.
+Bates, I went down to my father: where, by the assistance of him and my
+uncle John, and some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise
+of thirty pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden: there I studied
+physic two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long
+voyages.
+
+Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good master,
+Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannel,
+commander; with whom I continued three years and a half, making a
+voyage or two into the Levant, and some other parts. When I came back I
+resolved to settle in London; to which Mr. Bates, my master, encouraged
+me, and by him I was recommended to several patients. I took part of a
+small house in the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my condition,
+I married Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton,
+hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred pounds for
+a portion.
+
+But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having few
+friends, my business began to fail; for my conscience would not suffer
+me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my brethren. Having
+therefore consulted with my wife, and some of my acquaintance, I
+determined to go again to sea. I was surgeon successively in two ships,
+and made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West Indies,
+by which I got some addition to my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent
+in reading the best authors, ancient and modern, being always provided
+with a good number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the
+manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning their
+language; wherein I had a great facility, by the strength of my memory.
+
+The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of
+the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. I
+removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to Wapping,
+hoping to get business among the sailors; but it would not turn to
+account. After three years expectation that things would mend, I
+accepted an advantageous offer from Captain William Prichard, master of
+the Antelope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea. We set sail
+from Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage was at first very prosperous.
+
+It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with
+the particulars of our adventures in those seas; let it suffice to
+inform him, that in our passage from thence to the East Indies, we were
+driven by a violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen’s Land. By an
+observation, we found ourselves in the latitude of 30 degrees 2 minutes
+south. Twelve of our crew were dead by immoderate labour and ill food;
+the rest were in a very weak condition. On the 5th of November, which
+was the beginning of summer in those parts, the weather being very
+hazy, the seamen spied a rock within half a cable’s length of the ship;
+but the wind was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and
+immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having let down
+the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship and the
+rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three leagues, till we were
+able to work no longer, being already spent with labour while we were
+in the ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the mercy of the waves,
+and in about half an hour the boat was overset by a sudden flurry from
+the north. What became of my companions in the boat, as well as of
+those who escaped on the rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot
+tell; but conclude they were all lost. For my own part, I swam as
+fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by wind and tide. I often
+let my legs drop, and could feel no bottom; but when I was almost gone,
+and able to struggle no longer, I found myself within my depth; and by
+this time the storm was much abated. The declivity was so small, that I
+walked near a mile before I got to the shore, which I conjectured was
+about eight o’clock in the evening. I then advanced forward near half a
+mile, but could not discover any sign of houses or inhabitants; at
+least I was in so weak a condition, that I did not observe them. I was
+extremely tired, and with that, and the heat of the weather, and about
+half a pint of brandy that I drank as I left the ship, I found myself
+much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the grass, which was very short
+and soft, where I slept sounder than ever I remembered to have done in
+my life, and, as I reckoned, about nine hours; for when I awaked, it
+was just day-light. I attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: for,
+as I happened to lie on my back, I found my arms and legs were strongly
+fastened on each side to the ground; and my hair, which was long and
+thick, tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt several slender
+ligatures across my body, from my arm-pits to my thighs. I could only
+look upwards; the sun began to grow hot, and the light offended my
+eyes. I heard a confused noise about me; but in the posture I lay,
+could see nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt something
+alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gently forward over my
+breast, came almost up to my chin; when, bending my eyes downwards as
+much as I could, I perceived it to be a human creature not six inches
+high, with a bow and arrow in his hands, and a quiver at his back. In
+the mean time, I felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I
+conjectured) following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and
+roared so loud, that they all ran back in a fright; and some of them,
+as I was afterwards told, were hurt with the falls they got by leaping
+from my sides upon the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of
+them, who ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up
+his hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but
+distinct voice, _Hekinah degul_: the others repeated the same words
+several times, but then I knew not what they meant. I lay all this
+while, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness. At length,
+struggling to get loose, I had the fortune to break the strings, and
+wrench out the pegs that fastened my left arm to the ground; for, by
+lifting it up to my face, I discovered the methods they had taken to
+bind me, and at the same time with a violent pull, which gave me
+excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings that tied down my hair
+on the left side, so that I was just able to turn my head about two
+inches. But the creatures ran off a second time, before I could seize
+them; whereupon there was a great shout in a very shrill accent, and
+after it ceased I heard one of them cry aloud _Tolgo phonac_; when in
+an instant I felt above a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand,
+which, pricked me like so many needles; and besides, they shot another
+flight into the air, as we do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose,
+fell on my body, (though I felt them not), and some on my face, which I
+immediately covered with my left hand. When this shower of arrows was
+over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain; and then striving again to
+get loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first, and
+some of them attempted with spears to stick me in the sides; but by
+good luck I had on a buff jerkin, which they could not pierce. I
+thought it the most prudent method to lie still, and my design was to
+continue so till night, when, my left hand being already loose, I could
+easily free myself: and as for the inhabitants, I had reason to believe
+I might be a match for the greatest army they could bring against me,
+if they were all of the same size with him that I saw. But fortune
+disposed otherwise of me. When the people observed I was quiet, they
+discharged no more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their
+numbers increased; and about four yards from me, over against my right
+ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at work;
+when turning my head that way, as well as the pegs and strings would
+permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a half from the
+ground, capable of holding four of the inhabitants, with two or three
+ladders to mount it: from whence one of them, who seemed to be a person
+of quality, made me a long speech, whereof I understood not one
+syllable. But I should have mentioned, that before the principal person
+began his oration, he cried out three times, _Langro dehul san_ (these
+words and the former were afterwards repeated and explained to me);
+whereupon, immediately, about fifty of the inhabitants came and cut the
+strings that fastened the left side of my head, which gave me the
+liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing the person and
+gesture of him that was to speak. He appeared to be of a middle age,
+and taller than any of the other three who attended him, whereof one
+was a page that held up his train, and seemed to be somewhat longer
+than my middle finger; the other two stood one on each side to support
+him. He acted every part of an orator, and I could observe many periods
+of threatenings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I answered
+in a few words, but in the most submissive manner, lifting up my left
+hand, and both my eyes to the sun, as calling him for a witness; and
+being almost famished with hunger, having not eaten a morsel for some
+hours before I left the ship, I found the demands of nature so strong
+upon me, that I could not forbear showing my impatience (perhaps
+against the strict rules of decency) by putting my finger frequently to
+my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The _hurgo_ (for so they call
+a great lord, as I afterwards learnt) understood me very well. He
+descended from the stage, and commanded that several ladders should be
+applied to my sides, on which above a hundred of the inhabitants
+mounted and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat,
+which had been provided and sent thither by the king’s orders, upon the
+first intelligence he received of me. I observed there was the flesh of
+several animals, but could not distinguish them by the taste. There
+were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like those of mutton, and very
+well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a lark. I ate them by two
+or three at a mouthful, and took three loaves at a time, about the
+bigness of musket bullets. They supplied me as fast as they could,
+showing a thousand marks of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and
+appetite. I then made another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by
+my eating that a small quantity would not suffice me; and being a most
+ingenious people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of their
+largest hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the
+top; I drank it off at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not
+hold half a pint, and tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much
+more delicious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I drank in the
+same manner, and made signs for more; but they had none to give me.
+When I had performed these wonders, they shouted for joy, and danced
+upon my breast, repeating several times as they did at first, _Hekinah
+degul_. They made me a sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads,
+but first warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying
+aloud, _Borach mevolah_; and when they saw the vessels in the air,
+there was a universal shout of _Hekinah degul_. I confess I was often
+tempted, while they were passing backwards and forwards on my body, to
+seize forty or fifty of the first that came in my reach, and dash them
+against the ground. But the remembrance of what I had felt, which
+probably might not be the worst they could do, and the promise of
+honour I made them—for so I interpreted my submissive behaviour—soon
+drove out these imaginations. Besides, I now considered myself as bound
+by the laws of hospitality, to a people who had treated me with so much
+expense and magnificence. However, in my thoughts I could not
+sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals, who
+durst venture to mount and walk upon my body, while one of my hands was
+at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so prodigious a
+creature as I must appear to them. After some time, when they observed
+that I made no more demands for meat, there appeared before me a person
+of high rank from his imperial majesty. His excellency, having mounted
+on the small of my right leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with
+about a dozen of his retinue; and producing his credentials under the
+signet royal, which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about ten
+minutes without any signs of anger, but with a kind of determinate
+resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found, was
+towards the capital city, about half a mile distant; whither it was
+agreed by his majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I answered in
+few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with my hand that was
+loose, putting it to the other (but over his excellency’s head for fear
+of hurting him or his train) and then to my own head and body, to
+signify that I desired my liberty. It appeared that he understood me
+well enough, for he shook his head by way of disapprobation, and held
+his hand in a posture to show that I must be carried as a prisoner.
+However, he made other signs to let me understand that I should have
+meat and drink enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I once more
+thought of attempting to break my bonds; but again, when I felt the
+smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all in
+blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and observing
+likewise that the number of my enemies increased, I gave tokens to let
+them know that they might do with me what they pleased. Upon this, the
+_hurgo_ and his train withdrew, with much civility and cheerful
+countenances. Soon after I heard a general shout, with frequent
+repetitions of the words _Peplom selan_; and I felt great numbers of
+people on my left side relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I was
+able to turn upon my right, and to ease myself with making water; which
+I very plentifully did, to the great astonishment of the people; who,
+conjecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately opened to
+the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent, which fell with
+such noise and violence from me. But before this, they had daubed my
+face and both my hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant to the
+smell, which, in a few minutes, removed all the smart of their arrows.
+These circumstances, added to the refreshment I had received by their
+victuals and drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I
+slept about eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no
+wonder, for the physicians, by the emperor’s order, had mingled a
+sleepy potion in the hogsheads of wine.
+
+It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on the
+ground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by an
+express; and determined in council, that I should be tied in the manner
+I have related, (which was done in the night while I slept;) that
+plenty of meat and drink should be sent to me, and a machine prepared
+to carry me to the capital city.
+
+This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am
+confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on the like
+occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent, as well as
+generous: for, supposing these people had endeavoured to kill me with
+their spears and arrows, while I was asleep, I should certainly have
+awaked with the first sense of smart, which might so far have roused my
+rage and strength, as to have enabled me to break the strings wherewith
+I was tied; after which, as they were not able to make resistance, so
+they could expect no mercy.
+
+These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a great
+perfection in mechanics, by the countenance and encouragement of the
+emperor, who is a renowned patron of learning. This prince has several
+machines fixed on wheels, for the carriage of trees and other great
+weights. He often builds his largest men of war, whereof some are nine
+feet long, in the woods where the timber grows, and has them carried on
+these engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred
+carpenters and engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the
+greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised three inches
+from the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide, moving upon
+twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the arrival of this
+engine, which, it seems, set out in four hours after my landing. It was
+brought parallel to me, as I lay. But the principal difficulty was to
+raise and place me in this vehicle. Eighty poles, each of one foot
+high, were erected for this purpose, and very strong cords, of the
+bigness of packthread, were fastened by hooks to many bandages, which
+the workmen had girt round my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs.
+Nine hundred of the strongest men were employed to draw up these cords,
+by many pulleys fastened on the poles; and thus, in less than three
+hours, I was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All
+this I was told; for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a
+profound sleep, by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused into
+my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the emperor’s largest horses, each about
+four inches and a half high, were employed to draw me towards the
+metropolis, which, as I said, was half a mile distant.
+
+About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very
+ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped a while, to adjust
+something that was out of order, two or three of the young natives had
+the curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep; they climbed up
+into the engine, and advancing very softly to my face, one of them, an
+officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his half-pike a good way up
+into my left nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me
+sneeze violently; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was
+three weeks before I knew the cause of my waking so suddenly. We made a
+long march the remaining part of the day, and, rested at night with
+five hundred guards on each side of me, half with torches, and half
+with bows and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The
+next morning at sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within two
+hundred yards of the city gates about noon. The emperor, and all his
+court, came out to meet us; but his great officers would by no means
+suffer his majesty to endanger his person by mounting on my body.
+
+At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient temple,
+esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom; which, having been
+polluted some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according to
+the zeal of those people, looked upon as profane, and therefore had
+been applied to common use, and all the ornaments and furniture carried
+away. In this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great gate
+fronting to the north was about four feet high, and almost two feet
+wide, through which I could easily creep. On each side of the gate was
+a small window, not above six inches from the ground: into that on the
+left side, the king’s smith conveyed fourscore and eleven chains, like
+those that hang to a lady’s watch in Europe, and almost as large, which
+were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against
+this temple, on the other side of the great highway, at twenty feet
+distance, there was a turret at least five feet high. Here the emperor
+ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to have an
+opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not see them. It
+was reckoned that above a hundred thousand inhabitants came out of the
+town upon the same errand; and, in spite of my guards, I believe there
+could not be fewer than ten thousand at several times, who mounted my
+body by the help of ladders. But a proclamation was soon issued, to
+forbid it upon pain of death. When the workmen found it was impossible
+for me to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound me;
+whereupon I rose up, with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had in
+my life. But the noise and astonishment of the people, at seeing me
+rise and walk, are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left
+leg were about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of
+walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle, but, being fixed within
+four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at my full
+length in the temple.
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to
+see the author in his confinement. The emperor’s person and habit
+described. Learned men appointed to teach the author their language. He
+gains favour by his mild disposition. His pockets are searched, and his
+sword and pistols taken from him.
+
+
+When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must confess I
+never beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country around appeared
+like a continued garden, and the enclosed fields, which were generally
+forty feet square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These fields were
+intermingled with woods of half a stang, [301] and the tallest trees,
+as I could judge, appeared to be seven feet high. I viewed the town on
+my left hand, which looked like the painted scene of a city in a
+theatre.
+
+I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of
+nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had last
+disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency and
+shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to creep into my house,
+which I accordingly did; and shutting the gate after me, I went as far
+as the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of that
+uneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of so
+uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader will
+give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered
+my case, and the distress I was in. From this time my constant practice
+was, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the
+full extent of my chain; and due care was taken every morning before
+company came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in
+wheel-barrows, by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not
+have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight,
+may appear not very momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to
+justify my character, in point of cleanliness, to the world; which, I
+am told, some of my maligners have been pleased, upon this and other
+occasions, to call in question.
+
+When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house, having
+occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended from the
+tower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have
+cost him dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly
+unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before
+him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent
+horseman, kept his seat, till his attendants ran in, and held the
+bridle, while his majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he
+surveyed me round with great admiration; but kept beyond the length of
+my chain. He ordered his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared,
+to give me victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of
+vehicles upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles
+and soon emptied them all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and
+ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two or three good
+mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained
+in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a draught; and
+so I did with the rest. The empress, and young princes of the blood of
+both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their
+chairs; but upon the accident that happened to the emperor’s horse,
+they alighted, and came near his person, which I am now going to
+describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of
+his court; which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders.
+His features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and arched
+nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his body and limbs
+well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment
+majestic. He was then past his prime, being twenty-eight years and
+three quarters old, of which he had reigned about seven in great
+felicity, and generally victorious. For the better convenience of
+beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face was parallel to his,
+and he stood but three yards off: however, I have had him since many
+times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the description.
+His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of it between the
+Asiatic and the European; but he had on his head a light helmet of
+gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword
+drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose;
+it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold
+enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and
+articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladies
+and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot they
+stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon the ground,
+embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty spoke
+often to me, and I returned answers: but neither of us could understand
+a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present (as I
+conjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address themselves
+to me; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least
+smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish,
+Italian, and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two
+hours the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent
+the impertinence, and probably the malice of the rabble, who were very
+impatient to crowd about me as near as they durst; and some of them had
+the impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on the ground by
+the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly missed my left eye. But
+the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be seized, and thought no
+punishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my hands; which some
+of his soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forward with the
+butt-ends of their pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right
+hand, put five of them into my coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made
+a countenance as if I would eat him alive. The poor man squalled
+terribly, and the colonel and his officers were in much pain,
+especially when they saw me take out my penknife: but I soon put them
+out of fear; for, looking mildly, and immediately cutting the strings
+he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground, and away he ran. I
+treated the rest in the same manner, taking them one by one out of my
+pocket; and I observed both the soldiers and people were highly
+delighted at this mark of my clemency, which was represented very much
+to my advantage at court.
+
+Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay on
+the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during which
+time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six
+hundred beds of the common measure were brought in carriages, and
+worked up in my house; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn
+together, made up the breadth and length; and these were four double:
+which, however, kept me but very indifferently from the hardness of the
+floor, that was of smooth stone. By the same computation, they provided
+me with sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who
+had been so long inured to hardships.
+
+As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought
+prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so that
+the villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage and
+household affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had not
+provided, by several proclamations and orders of state, against this
+inconveniency. He directed that those who had already beheld me should
+return home, and not presume to come within fifty yards of my house,
+without license from the court; whereby the secretaries of state got
+considerable fees.
+
+In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate what
+course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a
+particular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in the
+secret as any, that the court was under many difficulties concerning
+me. They apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet would be very
+expensive, and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to
+starve me; or at least to shoot me in the face and hands with poisoned
+arrows, which would soon despatch me; but again they considered, that
+the stench of so large a carcass might produce a plague in the
+metropolis, and probably spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst
+of these consultations, several officers of the army went to the door
+of the great council-chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave an
+account of my behaviour to the six criminals above-mentioned; which
+made so favourable an impression in the breast of his majesty and the
+whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial commission was issued out,
+obliging all the villages, nine hundred yards round the city, to
+deliver in every morning six beeves, forty sheep, and other victuals
+for my sustenance; together with a proportionable quantity of bread,
+and wine, and other liquors; for the due payment of which, his majesty
+gave assignments upon his treasury:—for this prince lives chiefly upon
+his own demesnes; seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any
+subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at
+their own expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred
+persons to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their
+maintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each side of
+my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors should
+make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country; that six
+of his majesty’s greatest scholars should be employed to instruct me in
+their language; and lastly, that the emperor’s horses, and those of the
+nobility and troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in my
+sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in
+execution; and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learning
+their language; during which time the emperor frequently honoured me
+with his visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me.
+We began already to converse together in some sort; and the first words
+I learnt, were to express my desire “that he would please give me my
+liberty;” which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I
+could comprehend it, was, “that this must be a work of time, not to be
+thought on without the advice of his council, and that first I must
+_lumos kelmin pesso desmar lon emposo_;” that is, swear a peace with
+him and his kingdom. However, that I should be used with all kindness.
+And he advised me to “acquire, by my patience and discreet behaviour,
+the good opinion of himself and his subjects.” He desired “I would not
+take it ill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me;
+for probably I might carry about me several weapons, which must needs
+be dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious a
+person.” I said, “His majesty should be satisfied; for I was ready to
+strip myself, and turn up my pockets before him.” This I delivered part
+in words, and part in signs. He replied, “that, by the laws of the
+kingdom, I must be searched by two of his officers; that he knew this
+could not be done without my consent and assistance; and he had so good
+an opinion of my generosity and justice, as to trust their persons in
+my hands; that whatever they took from me, should be returned when I
+left the country, or paid for at the rate which I would set upon them.”
+I took up the two officers in my hands, put them first into my
+coat-pockets, and then into every other pocket about me, except my two
+fobs, and another secret pocket, which I had no mind should be
+searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no
+consequence to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver
+watch, and in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These
+gentlemen, having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exact
+inventory of every thing they saw; and when they had done, desired I
+would set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. This
+inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word for word,
+as follows:
+
+
+“_Imprimis_: In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain” (for
+so I interpret the words _quinbus flestrin_,) “after the strictest
+search, we found only one great piece of coarse-cloth, large enough to
+be a foot-cloth for your majesty’s chief room of state. In the left
+pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover of the same metal,
+which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We desired it should be
+opened, and one of us stepping into it, found himself up to the mid leg
+in a sort of dust, some part whereof flying up to our faces set us both
+a sneezing for several times together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we
+found a prodigious bundle of white thin substances, folded one over
+another, about the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable, and
+marked with black figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings,
+every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the left
+there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were extended twenty
+long poles, resembling the pallisados before your majesty’s court:
+wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain combs his head; for we did not
+always trouble him with questions, because we found it a great
+difficulty to make him understand us. In the large pocket, on the right
+side of his middle cover” (so I translate the word _ranfulo_, by which
+they meant my breeches,) “we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the
+length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the
+pillar; and upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron
+sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make
+of. In the left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller
+pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white and
+red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be
+silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly
+lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars irregularly
+shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we
+stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed
+all of a piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a
+white round substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within
+each of these was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which, by our
+orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be
+dangerous engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that
+in his own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of
+these, and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we
+could not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits
+cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the
+pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain,
+with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw
+out whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to be a
+globe, half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on the
+transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly drawn, and
+thought we could touch them, till we found our fingers stopped by the
+lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears, which made an
+incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is
+either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are
+more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we
+understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that
+he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle,
+and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life. From
+the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman, but
+contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him for the same
+use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if
+they be real gold, must be of immense value.
+
+“Having thus, in obedience to your majesty’s commands, diligently
+searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of
+the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung
+a sword of the length of five men; and on the right, a bag or pouch
+divided into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your
+majesty’s subjects. In one of these cells were several globes, or
+balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and
+requiring a strong hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap
+of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we could
+hold above fifty of them in the palms of our hands.
+
+“This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the
+man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due respect to your
+majesty’s commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the
+eighty-ninth moon of your majesty’s auspicious reign.
+
+
+                                     Clefrin Frelock, Marsi Frelock.”
+
+When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,
+although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars.
+He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In
+the mean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops (who
+then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and
+arrows just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for my eyes
+were wholly fixed upon his majesty. He then desired me to draw my
+scimitar, which, although it had got some rust by the sea water, was,
+in most parts, exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the
+troops gave a shout between terror and surprise; for the sun shone
+clear, and the reflection dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar
+to and fro in my hand. His majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince,
+was less daunted than I could expect: he ordered me to return it into
+the scabbard, and cast it on the ground as gently as I could, about six
+feet from the end of my chain. The next thing he demanded was one of
+the hollow iron pillars; by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it
+out, and at his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of
+it; and charging it only with powder, which, by the closeness of my
+pouch, happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience against
+which all prudent mariners take special care to provide,) I first
+cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off in the
+air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of my
+scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even
+the emperor, although he stood his ground, could not recover himself
+for some time. I delivered up both my pistols in the same manner as I
+had done my scimitar, and then my pouch of powder and bullets; begging
+him that the former might be kept from fire, for it would kindle with
+the smallest spark, and blow up his imperial palace into the air. I
+likewise delivered up my watch, which the emperor was very curious to
+see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of the guards to bear it
+on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England do a barrel of
+ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion of
+the minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their sight is much
+more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned men about
+it, which were various and remote, as the reader may well imagine
+without my repeating; although indeed I could not very perfectly
+understand them. I then gave up my silver and copper money, my purse,
+with nine large pieces of gold, and some smaller ones; my knife and
+razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, my handkerchief and journal-book.
+My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his
+majesty’s stores; but the rest of my goods were returned me.
+
+I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped their
+search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use
+for the weakness of my eyes,) a pocket perspective, and some other
+little conveniences; which, being of no consequence to the emperor, I
+did not think myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended
+they might be lost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession.
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in a
+very uncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput
+described. The author has his liberty granted him upon certain
+conditions.
+
+
+My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the emperor and
+his court, and indeed upon the army and people in general, that I began
+to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time. I took all
+possible methods to cultivate this favourable disposition. The natives
+came, by degrees, to be less apprehensive of any danger from me. I
+would sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my hand;
+and at last the boys and girls would venture to come and play at
+hide-and-seek in my hair. I had now made a good progress in
+understanding and speaking the language. The emperor had a mind one day
+to entertain me with several of the country shows, wherein they exceed
+all nations I have known, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was
+diverted with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed upon
+a slender white thread, extended about two feet, and twelve inches from
+the ground. Upon which I shall desire liberty, with the reader’s
+patience, to enlarge a little.
+
+This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates
+for great employments, and high favour at court. They are trained in
+this art from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or
+liberal education. When a great office is vacant, either by death or
+disgrace (which often happens) five or six of those candidates
+petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a
+dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest, without falling,
+succeeds in the office. Very often the chief ministers themselves are
+commanded to show their skill, and to convince the emperor that they
+have not lost their faculty. Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut
+a caper on the straight rope, at least an inch higher than any other
+lord in the whole empire. I have seen him do the summerset several
+times together, upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no thicker
+than a common packthread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal
+secretary for private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial,
+the second after the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are much
+upon a par.
+
+These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof great
+numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates break
+a limb. But the danger is much greater, when the ministers themselves
+are commanded to show their dexterity; for, by contending to excel
+themselves and their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly
+one of them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or three.
+I was assured that, a year or two before my arrival, Flimnap would
+infallibly have broke his neck, if one of the king’s cushions, that
+accidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall.
+
+There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before the
+emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions. The
+emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six inches long;
+one is blue, the other red, and the third green. These threads are
+proposed as prizes for those persons whom the emperor has a mind to
+distinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is performed
+in his majesty’s great chamber of state, where the candidates are to
+undergo a trial of dexterity very different from the former, and such
+as I have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of
+the new or old world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends
+parallel to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one,
+sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward and
+forward, several times, according as the stick is advanced or
+depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the stick, and his
+first minister the other; sometimes the minister has it entirely to
+himself. Whoever performs his part with most agility, and holds out the
+longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the blue-coloured
+silk; the red is given to the next, and the green to the third, which
+they all wear girt twice round about the middle; and you see few great
+persons about this court who are not adorned with one of these girdles.
+
+The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been
+daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very
+feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I
+held it on the ground; and one of the emperor’s huntsmen, upon a large
+courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious
+leap. I had the good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very
+extraordinary manner. I desired he would order several sticks of two
+feet high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me;
+whereupon his majesty commanded the master of his woods to give
+directions accordingly; and the next morning six woodmen arrived with
+as many carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of these
+sticks, and fixing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure,
+two feet and a half square, I took four other sticks, and tied them
+parallel at each corner, about two feet from the ground; then I
+fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that stood erect; and
+extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top of a drum; and
+the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches higher than the
+handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When I had finished my
+work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his best horses
+twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain. His majesty
+approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by one, in my hands,
+ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to exercise them. As
+soon as they got into order they divided into two parties, performed
+mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords, fled and
+pursued, attacked and retired, and in short discovered the best
+military discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and
+their horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so much
+delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several
+days, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of
+command; and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress herself
+to let me hold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage,
+when she was able to take a full view of the whole performance. It was
+my good fortune, that no ill accident happened in these entertainments;
+only once a fiery horse, that belonged to one of the captains, pawing
+with his hoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping,
+he overthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them
+both, and covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with
+the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell
+was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I
+repaired my handkerchief as well as I could: however, I would not trust
+to the strength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises.
+
+About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was
+entertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an express
+to inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding near the place
+where I was first taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on
+the ground, very oddly shaped, extending its edges round, as wide as
+his majesty’s bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man;
+that it was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for it
+lay on the grass without motion; and some of them had walked round it
+several times; that, by mounting upon each other’s shoulders, they had
+got to the top, which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they
+found that it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be
+something belonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased,
+they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I presently
+knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this
+intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after our
+shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the place
+where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a string to my
+head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming,
+fell off after I came to land; the string, as I conjecture, breaking by
+some accident, which I never observed, but thought my hat had been lost
+at sea. I entreated his imperial majesty to give orders it might be
+brought to me as soon as possible, describing to him the use and the
+nature of it: and the next day the waggoners arrived with it, but not
+in a very good condition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within
+an inch and half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes;
+these hooks were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus my hat
+was dragged along for above half an English mile; but, the ground in
+that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less damage
+than I expected.
+
+Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part of
+his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be in
+readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner.
+He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder
+as I conveniently could. He then commanded his general (who was an old
+experienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops
+in close order, and march them under me; the foot by twenty-four
+abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colours flying,
+and pikes advanced. This body consisted of three thousand foot, and a
+thousand horse. His majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every
+soldier in his march should observe the strictest decency with regard
+to my person; which however could not prevent some of the younger
+officers from turning up their eyes as they passed under me: and, to
+confess the truth, my breeches were at that time in so ill a condition,
+that they afforded some opportunities for laughter and admiration.
+
+I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his
+majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and then
+in a full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh
+Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal
+enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole board, and confirmed
+by the emperor. That minister was _galbet_, or admiral of the realm,
+very much in his master’s confidence, and a person well versed in
+affairs, but of a morose and sour complexion. However, he was at length
+persuaded to comply; but prevailed that the articles and conditions
+upon which I should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be
+drawn up by himself. These articles were brought to me by Skyresh
+Bolgolam in person attended by two under-secretaries, and several
+persons of distinction. After they were read, I was demanded to swear
+to the performance of them; first in the manner of my own country, and
+afterwards in the method prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold
+my right foot in my left hand, and to place the middle finger of my
+right hand on the crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right
+ear. But because the reader may be curious to have some idea of the
+style and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to
+know the article upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a
+translation of the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I was
+able, which I here offer to the public.
+
+
+“Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most mighty
+Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose
+dominions extend five thousand _blustrugs_ (about twelve miles in
+circumference) to the extremities of the globe; monarch of all
+monarchs, taller than the sons of men; whose feet press down to the
+centre, and whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the
+princes of the earth shake their knees; pleasant as the spring,
+comfortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter: his
+most sublime majesty proposes to the man-mountain, lately arrived at
+our celestial dominions, the following articles, which, by a solemn
+oath, he shall be obliged to perform:—
+
+“1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, without our
+license under our great seal.
+
+“2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without our
+express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hours
+warning to keep within doors.
+
+“3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal
+high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a meadow or field of
+corn.
+
+“4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not to
+trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses, or
+carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands without their
+own consent.
+
+“5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountain
+shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger and horse a six
+days journey, once in every moon, and return the said messenger back
+(if so required) safe to our imperial presence.
+
+“6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of
+Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now
+preparing to invade us.
+
+“7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be
+aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain great
+stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other our
+royal buildings.
+
+“8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons’ time, deliver in
+an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a computation
+of his own paces round the coast.
+
+“Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles,
+the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drink
+sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects, with free access to
+our royal person, and other marks of our favour. Given at our palace at
+Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of our reign.”
+
+
+I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness and
+content, although some of them were not so honourable as I could have
+wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, the
+high-admiral: whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was
+at full liberty. The emperor himself, in person, did me the honour to
+be by at the whole ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by prostrating
+myself at his majesty’s feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after
+many gracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I
+shall not repeat, he added, “that he hoped I should prove a useful
+servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already conferred upon
+me, or might do for the future.”
+
+The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of the
+recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity
+of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 Lilliputians. Some
+time after, asking a friend at court how they came to fix on that
+determinate number, he told me that his majesty’s mathematicians,
+having taken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and
+finding it to exceed theirs in the proportion of twelve to one, they
+concluded from the similarity of their bodies, that mine must contain
+at least 1724 of theirs, and consequently would require as much food as
+was necessary to support that number of Lilliputians. By which the
+reader may conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as
+the prudent and exact economy of so great a prince.
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the
+emperor’s palace. A conversation between the author and a principal
+secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The author’s offers
+to serve the emperor in his wars.
+
+
+The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that I
+might have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which the emperor
+easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt either to
+the inhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by
+proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall which
+encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least eleven inches
+broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very safely round it;
+and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I stepped
+over the great western gate, and passed very gently, and sidling,
+through the two principal streets, only in my short waistcoat, for fear
+of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses with the skirts of my
+coat. I walked with the utmost circumspection, to avoid treading on any
+stragglers who might remain in the streets, although the orders were
+very strict, that all people should keep in their houses, at their own
+peril. The garret windows and tops of houses were so crowded with
+spectators, that I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more
+populous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall
+being five hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across
+and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and
+alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as I passed, are
+from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding five
+hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to five stories: the
+shops and markets well provided.
+
+The emperor’s palace is in the centre of the city where the two great
+streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and twenty
+feet distance from the buildings. I had his majesty’s permission to
+step over this wall; and, the space being so wide between that and the
+palace, I could easily view it on every side. The outward court is a
+square of forty feet, and includes two other courts: in the inmost are
+the royal apartments, which I was very desirous to see, but found it
+extremely difficult; for the great gates, from one square into another,
+were but eighteen inches high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings
+of the outer court were at least five feet high, and it was impossible
+for me to stride over them without infinite damage to the pile, though
+the walls were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At
+the same time the emperor had a great desire that I should see the
+magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till three
+days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some of the
+largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards distant from the
+city. Of these trees I made two stools, each about three feet high, and
+strong enough to bear my weight. The people having received notice a
+second time, I went again through the city to the palace with my two
+stools in my hands. When I came to the side of the outer court, I stood
+upon one stool, and took the other in my hand; this I lifted over the
+roof, and gently set it down on the space between the first and second
+court, which was eight feet wide. I then stept over the building very
+conveniently from one stool to the other, and drew up the first after
+me with a hooked stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost
+court; and, lying down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows
+of the middle stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered
+the most splendid apartments that can be imagined. There I saw the
+empress and the young princes, in their several lodgings, with their
+chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty was pleased to smile
+very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the window her hand to
+kiss.
+
+But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of this
+kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now almost
+ready for the press; containing a general description of this empire,
+from its first erection, through a long series of princes; with a
+particular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning, and
+religion; their plants and animals; their peculiar manners and customs,
+with other matters very curious and useful; my chief design at present
+being only to relate such events and transactions as happened to the
+public or to myself during a residence of about nine months in that
+empire.
+
+One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,
+Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private affairs,
+came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach to
+wait at a distance, and desired I would give him an hour’s audience;
+which I readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal
+merits, as well as of the many good offices he had done me during my
+solicitations at court. I offered to lie down that he might the more
+conveniently reach my ear, but he chose rather to let me hold him in my
+hand during our conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty;
+said “he might pretend to some merit in it;” but, however, added, “that
+if it had not been for the present situation of things at court,
+perhaps I might not have obtained it so soon. For,” said he, “as
+flourishing a condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we
+labour under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the
+danger of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the
+first, you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past there
+have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of
+_Tramecksan_ and _Slamecksan_, from the high and low heels of their
+shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged, indeed,
+that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient constitution;
+but, however this be, his majesty has determined to make use only of
+low heels in the administration of the government, and all offices in
+the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe; and particularly that
+his majesty’s imperial heels are lower at least by a _drurr_ than any
+of his court (_drurr_ is a measure about the fourteenth part of an
+inch). The animosities between these two parties run so high, that they
+will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each other. We compute the
+_Tramecksan_, or high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power is
+wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to the
+crown, to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least we can
+plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other, which
+gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine
+disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the island of
+Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the universe, almost as
+large and powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what we have heard
+you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world
+inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophers are
+in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropped from the
+moon, or one of the stars; because it is certain, that a hundred
+mortals of your bulk would in a short time destroy all the fruits and
+cattle of his majesty’s dominions: besides, our histories of six
+thousand moons make no mention of any other regions than the two great
+empires of Lilliput and Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I
+was going to tell you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for
+six-and-thirty moons past. It began upon the following occasion. It is
+allowed on all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before
+we eat them, was upon the larger end; but his present majesty’s
+grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it
+according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers.
+Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict, commanding all his
+subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of their eggs.
+The people so highly resented this law, that our histories tell us,
+there have been six rebellions raised on that account; wherein one
+emperor lost his life, and another his crown. These civil commotions
+were constantly fomented by the monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they
+were quelled, the exiles always fled for refuge to that empire. It is
+computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered
+death, rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many
+hundred large volumes have been published upon this controversy: but
+the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole
+party rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During the
+course of these troubles, the emperors of Blefuscu did frequently
+expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in
+religion, by offending against a fundamental doctrine of our great
+prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of the Blundecral (which
+is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought to be a mere strain upon
+the text; for the words are these: ‘that all true believers break their
+eggs at the convenient end.’ And which is the convenient end, seems, in
+my humble opinion to be left to every man’s conscience, or at least in
+the power of the chief magistrate to determine. Now, the Big-endian
+exiles have found so much credit in the emperor of Blefuscu’s court,
+and so much private assistance and encouragement from their party here
+at home, that a bloody war has been carried on between the two empires
+for six-and-thirty moons, with various success; during which time we
+have lost forty capital ships, and a much greater number of smaller
+vessels, together with thirty thousand of our best seamen and soldiers;
+and the damage received by the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater
+than ours. However, they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are
+just preparing to make a descent upon us; and his imperial majesty,
+placing great confidence in your valour and strength, has commanded me
+to lay this account of his affairs before you.”
+
+I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor; and
+to let him know, “that I thought it would not become me, who was a
+foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard
+of my life, to defend his person and state against all invaders.”
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion. A high
+title of honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive from the
+emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress’s apartment on fire
+by an accident; the author instrumental in saving the rest of the
+palace.
+
+
+The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of
+Lilliput, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight hundred
+yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of an intended
+invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the coast, for fear of
+being discovered, by some of the enemy’s ships, who had received no
+intelligence of me; all intercourse between the two empires having been
+strictly forbidden during the war, upon pain of death, and an embargo
+laid by our emperor upon all vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his
+majesty a project I had formed of seizing the enemy’s whole fleet;
+which, as our scouts assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to
+sail with the first fair wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen
+upon the depth of the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told
+me, that in the middle, at high-water, it was seventy _glumgluffs_
+deep, which is about six feet of European measure; and the rest of it
+fifty _glumgluffs_ at most. I walked towards the north-east coast, over
+against Blefuscu, where, lying down behind a hillock, I took out my
+small perspective glass, and viewed the enemy’s fleet at anchor,
+consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great number of transports:
+I then came back to my house, and gave orders (for which I had a
+warrant) for a great quantity of the strongest cable and bars of iron.
+The cable was about as thick as packthread and the bars of the length
+and size of a knitting-needle. I trebled the cable to make it stronger,
+and for the same reason I twisted three of the iron bars together,
+bending the extremities into a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to
+as many cables, I went back to the north-east coast, and putting off my
+coat, shoes, and stockings, walked into the sea, in my leathern jerkin,
+about half an hour before high water. I waded with what haste I could,
+and swam in the middle about thirty yards, till I felt ground. I
+arrived at the fleet in less than half an hour. The enemy was so
+frightened when they saw me, that they leaped out of their ships, and
+swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand
+souls. I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to the hole at
+the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end. While I was
+thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand arrows, many of
+which stuck in my hands and face, and, beside the excessive smart, gave
+me much disturbance in my work. My greatest apprehension was for my
+eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly
+thought of an expedient. I kept, among other little necessaries, a pair
+of spectacles in a private pocket, which, as I observed before, had
+escaped the emperor’s searchers. These I took out and fastened as
+strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on boldly with
+my work, in spite of the enemy’s arrows, many of which struck against
+the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect, further
+than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all the hooks,
+and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a ship would
+stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so that the
+boldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go the cord,
+and leaving the hooks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut with my
+knife the cables that fastened the anchors, receiving about two hundred
+shots in my face and hands; then I took up the knotted end of the
+cables, to which my hooks were tied, and with great ease drew fifty of
+the enemy’s largest men of war after me.
+
+The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I
+intended, were at first confounded with astonishment. They had seen me
+cut the cables, and thought my design was only to let the ships run
+adrift or fall foul on each other: but when they perceived the whole
+fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at the end, they set up such
+a scream of grief and despair as it is almost impossible to describe or
+conceive. When I had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out
+the arrows that stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on some of the
+same ointment that was given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly
+mentioned. I then took off my spectacles, and waiting about an hour,
+till the tide was a little fallen, I waded through the middle with my
+cargo, and arrived safe at the royal port of Lilliput.
+
+The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the issue
+of this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in a large
+half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my breast in water.
+When I advanced to the middle of the channel, they were yet more in
+pain, because I was under water to my neck. The emperor concluded me to
+be drowned, and that the enemy’s fleet was approaching in a hostile
+manner: but he was soon eased of his fears; for the channel growing
+shallower every step I made, I came in a short time within hearing, and
+holding up the end of the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I
+cried in a loud voice, “Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput!”
+This great prince received me at my landing with all possible
+encomiums, and created me a _nardac_ upon the spot, which is the
+highest title of honour among them.
+
+His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing all
+the rest of his enemy’s ships into his ports. And so unmeasureable is
+the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than
+reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing
+it, by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian exiles, and compelling
+that people to break the smaller end of their eggs, by which he would
+remain the sole monarch of the whole world. But I endeavoured to divert
+him from this design, by many arguments drawn from the topics of policy
+as well as justice; and I plainly protested, “that I would never be an
+instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery.” And, when
+the matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the ministry were
+of my opinion.
+
+This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes and
+politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never forgive me. He
+mentioned it in a very artful manner at council, where I was told that
+some of the wisest appeared, at least by their silence, to be of my
+opinion; but others, who were my secret enemies, could not forbear some
+expressions which, by a side-wind, reflected on me. And from this time
+began an intrigue between his majesty and a junto of ministers,
+maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less than two months,
+and had like to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little weight
+are the greatest services to princes, when put into the balance with a
+refusal to gratify their passions.
+
+About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy
+from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was soon concluded,
+upon conditions very advantageous to our emperor, wherewith I shall not
+trouble the reader. There were six ambassadors, with a train of about
+five hundred persons, and their entry was very magnificent, suitable to
+the grandeur of their master, and the importance of their business.
+When their treaty was finished, wherein I did them several good offices
+by the credit I now had, or at least appeared to have, at court, their
+excellencies, who were privately told how much I had been their friend,
+made me a visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my
+valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor their
+master’s name, and desired me to show them some proofs of my prodigious
+strength, of which they had heard so many wonders; wherein I readily
+obliged them, but shall not trouble the reader with the particulars.
+
+When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their
+infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the
+honour to present my most humble respects to the emperor their master,
+the renown of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole world with
+admiration, and whose royal person I resolved to attend, before I
+returned to my own country. Accordingly, the next time I had the honour
+to see our emperor, I desired his general license to wait on the
+Blefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could
+perceive, in a very cold manner; but could not guess the reason, till I
+had a whisper from a certain person, “that Flimnap and Bolgolam had
+represented my intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of
+disaffection;” from which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this
+was the first time I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts
+and ministers.
+
+It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by an
+interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from each
+other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the
+antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with an avowed
+contempt for that of their neighbour; yet our emperor, standing upon
+the advantage he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them to
+deliver their credentials, and make their speech, in the Lilliputian
+tongue. And it must be confessed, that from the great intercourse of
+trade and commerce between both realms, from the continual reception of
+exiles which is mutual among them, and from the custom, in each empire,
+to send their young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order
+to polish themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and
+manners; there are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen,
+who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold conversation in both
+tongues; as I found some weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to
+the emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes,
+through the malice of my enemies, proved a very happy adventure to me,
+as I shall relate in its proper place.
+
+The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon which I
+recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked, upon account of
+their being too servile; neither could anything but an extreme
+necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a _nardac_ of the
+highest rank in that empire, such offices were looked upon as below my
+dignity, and the emperor (to do him justice), never once mentioned them
+to me. However, it was not long before I had an opportunity of doing
+his majesty, at least as I then thought, a most signal service. I was
+alarmed at midnight with the cries of many hundred people at my door;
+by which, being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard
+the word _Burglum_ repeated incessantly: several of the emperor’s
+court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come
+immediately to the palace, where her imperial majesty’s apartment was
+on fire, by the carelessness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while
+she was reading a romance. I got up in an instant; and orders being
+given to clear the way before me, and it being likewise a moonshine
+night, I made a shift to get to the palace without trampling on any of
+the people. I found they had already applied ladders to the walls of
+the apartment, and were well provided with buckets, but the water was
+at some distance. These buckets were about the size of large thimbles,
+and the poor people supplied me with them as fast as they could: but
+the flame was so violent that they did little good. I might easily have
+stifled it with my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for
+haste, and came away only in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly
+desperate and deplorable; and this magnificent palace would have
+infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind
+unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I had, the
+evening before, drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine called
+_glimigrim_, (the Blefuscudians call it _flunec_, but ours is esteemed
+the better sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the
+world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The heat I had
+contracted by coming very near the flames, and by labouring to quench
+them, made the wine begin to operate by urine; which I voided in such a
+quantity, and applied so well to the proper places, that in three
+minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble
+pile, which had cost so many ages in erecting, preserved from
+destruction.
+
+It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting to
+congratulate with the emperor: because, although I had done a very
+eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty might
+resent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the fundamental
+laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what quality soever,
+to make water within the precincts of the palace. But I was a little
+comforted by a message from his majesty, “that he would give orders to
+the grand justiciary for passing my pardon in form:” which, however, I
+could not obtain; and I was privately assured, “that the empress,
+conceiving the greatest abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the
+most distant side of the court, firmly resolved that those buildings
+should never be repaired for her use: and, in the presence of her chief
+confidents could not forbear vowing revenge.”
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; the
+manner of educating their children. The author’s way of living in that
+country. His vindication of a great lady.
+
+
+Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a
+particular treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify the
+curious reader with some general ideas. As the common size of the
+natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is an exact
+proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees: for
+instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five inches
+in height, the sheep an inch and half, more or less: their geese about
+the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards till
+you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were almost invisible; but
+nature has adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects proper
+for their view: they see with great exactness, but at no great
+distance. And, to show the sharpness of their sight towards objects
+that are near, I have been much pleased with observing a cook pulling a
+lark, which was not so large as a common fly; and a young girl
+threading an invisible needle with invisible silk. Their tallest trees
+are about seven feet high: I mean some of those in the great royal
+park, the tops whereof I could but just reach with my fist clenched.
+The other vegetables are in the same proportion; but this I leave to
+the reader’s imagination.
+
+I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many
+ages, has flourished in all its branches among them: but their manner
+of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right,
+like the Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians,
+nor from up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from one corner of
+the paper to the other, like ladies in England.
+
+They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because they
+hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rise
+again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) will
+turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection,
+be found ready standing on their feet. The learned among them confess
+the absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, in
+compliance to the vulgar.
+
+There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if
+they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I
+should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to
+be wished they were as well executed. The first I shall mention,
+relates to informers. All crimes against the state, are punished here
+with the utmost severity; but, if the person accused makes his
+innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately
+put to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the innocent
+person is quadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, for the
+danger he underwent, for the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all
+the charges he has been at in making his defence; or, if that fund be
+deficient, it is largely supplied by the crown. The emperor also
+confers on him some public mark of his favour, and proclamation is made
+of his innocence through the whole city.
+
+They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore
+seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and
+vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s goods
+from thieves, but honesty has no defence against superior cunning; and,
+since it is necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of
+buying and selling, and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted
+and connived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is
+always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I was
+once interceding with the emperor for a criminal who had wronged his
+master of a great sum of money, which he had received by order and ran
+away with; and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation,
+that it was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in
+me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and
+truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common answer,
+that different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was
+heartily ashamed. [330]
+
+Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon
+which all government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be
+put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can
+there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of
+his country for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges,
+according to his quality or condition of life, with a proportionable
+sum of money out of a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise
+acquires the title of _snilpall_, or legal, which is added to his name,
+but does not descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a
+prodigious defect of policy among us, when I told them that our laws
+were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is
+upon this account that the image of Justice, in their courts of
+judicature, is formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind, and on
+each side one, to signify circumspection; with a bag of gold open in
+her right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to show she is more
+disposed to reward than to punish.
+
+In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to good
+morals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to
+mankind, they believe, that the common size of human understanding is
+fitted to some station or other; and that Providence never intended to
+make the management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended only
+by a few persons of sublime genius, of which there seldom are three
+born in an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the
+like, to be in every man’s power; the practice of which virtues,
+assisted by experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for
+the service of his country, except where a course of study is required.
+But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being
+supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments could
+never be put into such dangerous hands as those of persons so
+qualified; and, at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in
+a virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal consequence to the
+public weal, as the practices of a man, whose inclinations led him to
+be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and
+defend his corruptions.
+
+In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man
+incapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow
+themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think
+nothing can be more absurd than for a prince to employ such men as
+disown the authority under which he acts.
+
+In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood to
+mean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous
+corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the degenerate
+nature of man. For, as to that infamous practice of acquiring great
+employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges of favour and
+distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping under them, the reader
+is to observe, that they were first introduced by the grandfather of
+the emperor now reigning, and grew to the present height by the gradual
+increase of party and faction.
+
+Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been
+in some other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever makes ill
+returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of
+mankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such a
+man is not fit to live.
+
+Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ
+extremely from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and female is
+founded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and
+continue the species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and
+women are joined together, like other animals, by the motives of
+concupiscence; and that their tenderness towards their young proceeds
+from the like natural principle: for which reason they will never allow
+that a child is under any obligation to his father for begetting him,
+or to his mother for bringing him into the world; which, considering
+the miseries of human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor
+intended so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters,
+were otherwise employed. Upon these, and the like reasonings, their
+opinion is, that parents are the last of all others to be trusted with
+the education of their own children; and therefore they have in every
+town public nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers and
+labourers, are obliged to send their infants of both sexes to be reared
+and educated, when they come to the age of twenty moons, at which time
+they are supposed to have some rudiments of docility. These schools are
+of several kinds, suited to different qualities, and both sexes. They
+have certain professors well skilled in preparing children for such a
+condition of life as befits the rank of their parents, and their own
+capacities, as well as inclinations. I shall first say something of the
+male nurseries, and then of the female.
+
+The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided with
+grave and learned professors, and their several deputies. The clothes
+and food of the children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the
+principles of honour, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion,
+and love of their country; they are always employed in some business,
+except in the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and
+two hours for diversions consisting of bodily exercises. They are
+dressed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged to dress
+themselves, although their quality be ever so great; and the women
+attendant, who are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only
+the most menial offices. They are never suffered to converse with
+servants, but go together in smaller or greater numbers to take their
+diversions, and always in the presence of a professor, or one of his
+deputies; whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and
+vice, to which our children are subject. Their parents are suffered to
+see them only twice a year; the visit is to last but an hour; they are
+allowed to kiss the child at meeting and parting; but a professor, who
+always stands by on those occasions, will not suffer them to whisper,
+or use any fondling expressions, or bring any presents of toys,
+sweetmeats, and the like.
+
+The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of a
+child, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor’s
+officers.
+
+The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders,
+and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only
+those designed for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old,
+whereas those of persons of quality continue in their exercises till
+fifteen, which answers to twenty-one with us: but the confinement is
+gradually lessened for the last three years.
+
+In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated much
+like the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their own
+sex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they
+come to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be
+found that these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with
+frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practised by
+chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice about the city,
+imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the most desolate part
+of the country. Thus the young ladies are as much ashamed of being
+cowards and fools as the men, and despise all personal ornaments,
+beyond decency and cleanliness: neither did I perceive any difference
+in their education made by their difference of sex, only that the
+exercises of the females were not altogether so robust; and that some
+rules were given them relating to domestic life, and a smaller compass
+of learning was enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among peoples
+of quality, a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable
+companion, because she cannot always be young. When the girls are
+twelve years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their
+parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions of
+gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears of the young lady
+and her companions.
+
+In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are
+instructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their
+several degrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven
+years old, the rest are kept to eleven.
+
+The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are obliged,
+besides their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return to
+the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to
+be a portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in
+their expenses by the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be
+more unjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites,
+to bring children into the world, and leave the burthen of supporting
+them on the public. As to persons of quality, they give security to
+appropriate a certain sum for each child, suitable to their condition;
+and these funds are always managed with good husbandry and the most
+exact justice.
+
+The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their business
+being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their
+education is of little consequence to the public: but the old and
+diseased among them are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade
+unknown in this empire.
+
+And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some
+account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country,
+during a residence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a head
+mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made
+for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of the largest
+trees in the royal park. Two hundred sempstresses were employed to make
+me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of the strongest and
+coarsest kind they could get; which, however, they were forced to quilt
+together in several folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than
+lawn. Their linen is usually three inches wide, and three feet make a
+piece. The sempstresses took my measure as I lay on the ground, one
+standing at my neck, and another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord
+extended, that each held by the end, while a third measured the length
+of the cord with a rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right
+thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that
+twice round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the neck
+and the waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on
+the ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three
+hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to make me clothes;
+but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled down,
+and they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck; upon this ladder
+one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-line from my collar to the
+floor, which just answered the length of my coat: but my waist and arms
+I measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was done in my
+house (for the largest of theirs would not have been able to hold
+them), they looked like the patch-work made by the ladies in England,
+only that mine were all of a colour.
+
+I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient
+huts built about my house, where they and their families lived, and
+prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand,
+and placed them on the table: a hundred more attended below on the
+ground, some with dishes of meat, and some with barrels of wine and
+other liquors slung on their shoulders; all which the waiters above
+drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious manner, by certain cords, as
+we draw the bucket up a well in Europe. A dish of their meat was a good
+mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reasonable draught. Their
+mutton yields to ours, but their beef is excellent. I have had a
+sirloin so large, that I have been forced to make three bites of it;
+but this is rare. My servants were astonished to see me eat it, bones
+and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their geese and
+turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceed
+ours. Of their smaller fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end
+of my knife.
+
+One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living,
+desired “that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of
+the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness,” as he was pleased
+to call it, “of dining with me.” They came accordingly, and I placed
+them in chairs of state, upon my table, just over against me, with
+their guards about them. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended
+there likewise with his white staff; and I observed he often looked on
+me with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to regard, but ate
+more than usual, in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the
+court with admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that
+this visit from his majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill
+offices to his master. That minister had always been my secret enemy,
+though he outwardly caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness
+of his nature. He represented to the emperor “the low condition of his
+treasury; that he was forced to take up money at a great discount; that
+exchequer bills would not circulate under nine per cent. below par;
+that I had cost his majesty above a million and a half of _sprugs_”
+(their greatest gold coin, about the bigness of a spangle) “and, upon
+the whole, that it would be advisable in the emperor to take the first
+fair occasion of dismissing me.”
+
+I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, who
+was an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer took a fancy to
+be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, who
+informed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my
+person; and the court scandal ran for some time, that she once came
+privately to my lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous
+falsehood, without any grounds, further than that her grace was pleased
+to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own
+she came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three
+more in the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and
+some particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other ladies
+of the court. And I still appeal to my servants round, whether they at
+any time saw a coach at my door, without knowing what persons were in
+it. On those occasions, when a servant had given me notice, my custom
+was to go immediately to the door, and, after paying my respects, to
+take up the coach and two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if
+there were six horses, the postillion always unharnessed four,) and
+place them on a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of
+five inches high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four
+coaches and horses at once on my table, full of company, while I sat in
+my chair, leaning my face towards them; and when I was engaged with one
+set, the coachmen would gently drive the others round my table. I have
+passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations. But I
+defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let
+them make the best of it) Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person
+ever came to me _incognito_, except the secretary Reldresal, who was
+sent by express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before
+related. I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it
+had not been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so
+nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then had the
+honour to be a _nardac_, which the treasurer himself is not; for all
+the world knows, that he is only a _glumglum_, a title inferior by one
+degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in England; yet I allow he
+preceded me in right of his post. These false informations, which I
+afterwards came to the knowledge of by an accident not proper to
+mention, made the treasurer show his lady for some time an ill
+countenance, and me a worse; and although he was at last undeceived and
+reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, and found my
+interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who was, indeed,
+too much governed by that favourite.
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+The author, being informed of a design to accuse him of high-treason,
+makes his escape to Blefuscu. His reception there.
+
+
+Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it may
+be proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had been for
+two months forming against me.
+
+I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I was
+unqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed heard and
+read enough of the dispositions of great princes and ministers, but
+never expected to have found such terrible effects of them, in so
+remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very different maxims from
+those in Europe.
+
+When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor of
+Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been very
+serviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of his
+imperial majesty) came to my house very privately at night, in a close
+chair, and, without sending his name, desired admittance. The chairmen
+were dismissed; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into my
+coat-pocket: and, giving orders to a trusty servant, to say I was
+indisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house, placed
+the chair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by
+it. After the common salutations were over, observing his lordship’s
+countenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired
+“I would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly concerned my
+honour and my life.” His speech was to the following effect, for I took
+notes of it as soon as he left me:—
+
+“You are to know,” said he, “that several committees of council have
+been lately called, in the most private manner, on your account; and it
+is but two days since his majesty came to a full resolution.
+
+“You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam” (_galbet_, or
+high-admiral) “has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since your
+arrival. His original reasons I know not; but his hatred is increased
+since your great success against Blefuscu, by which his glory as
+admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with Flimnap the
+high-treasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious on account of his
+lady, Limtoc the general, Lalcon the chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand
+justiciary, have prepared articles of impeachment against you, for
+treason and other capital crimes.”
+
+This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits and
+innocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he entreated me to
+be silent, and thus proceeded:—
+
+“Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured
+information of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles;
+wherein I venture my head for your service.
+
+
+“‘_Articles of Impeachment against_ QUINBUS FLESTRIN, (_the
+Man-Mountain_.)
+
+Article I.
+
+
+“‘Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty Calin
+Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water within the
+precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains and
+penalties of high-treason; notwithstanding, the said Quinbus Flestrin,
+in open breach of the said law, under colour of extinguishing the fire
+kindled in the apartment of his majesty’s most dear imperial consort,
+did maliciously, traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge of his
+urine, put out the said fire kindled in the said apartment, lying and
+being within the precincts of the said royal palace, against the
+statute in that case provided, etc. against the duty, etc.
+
+Article II.
+
+
+“‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet of
+Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded by his
+imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said empire of
+Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to a province, to be governed by a
+viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to death, not only all the
+Big-endian exiles, but likewise all the people of that empire who would
+not immediately forsake the Big-endian heresy, he, the said Flestrin,
+like a false traitor against his most auspicious, serene, imperial
+majesty, did petition to be excused from the said service, upon
+pretence of unwillingness to force the consciences, or destroy the
+liberties and lives of an innocent people.
+
+Article III.
+
+
+“‘That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the Court of Blefuscu,
+to sue for peace in his majesty’s court, he, the said Flestrin, did,
+like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert, the said
+ambassadors, although he knew them to be servants to a prince who was
+lately an open enemy to his imperial majesty, and in an open war
+against his said majesty.
+
+Article IV.
+
+
+“‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful
+subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and empire of
+Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license from his
+imperial majesty; and, under colour of the said license, does falsely
+and traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and thereby to aid,
+comfort, and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so lately an enemy, and in
+open war with his imperial majesty aforesaid.’
+
+
+“There are some other articles; but these are the most important, of
+which I have read you an abstract.
+
+“In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed
+that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity; often urging the
+services you had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your crimes.
+The treasurer and admiral insisted that you should be put to the most
+painful and ignominious death, by setting fire to your house at night,
+and the general was to attend with twenty thousand men, armed with
+poisoned arrows, to shoot you on the face and hands. Some of your
+servants were to have private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your
+shirts and sheets, which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and
+die in the utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion; so
+that for a long time there was a majority against you; but his majesty
+resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the
+chamberlain.
+
+“Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private
+affairs, who always approved himself your true friend, was commanded by
+the emperor to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did; and
+therein justified the good thoughts you have of him. He allowed your
+crimes to be great, but that still there was room for mercy, the most
+commendable virtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly
+celebrated. He said, the friendship between you and him was so well
+known to the world, that perhaps the most honourable board might think
+him partial; however, in obedience to the command he had received, he
+would freely offer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in
+consideration of your services, and pursuant to his own merciful
+disposition, would please to spare your life, and only give orders to
+put out both your eyes, he humbly conceived, that by this expedient
+justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the world would
+applaud the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and generous
+proceedings of those who have the honour to be his counsellors. That
+the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to your bodily strength,
+by which you might still be useful to his majesty; that blindness is an
+addition to courage, by concealing dangers from us; that the fear you
+had for your eyes, was the greatest difficulty in bringing over the
+enemy’s fleet, and it would be sufficient for you to see by the eyes of
+the ministers, since the greatest princes do no more.
+
+“This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the whole
+board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his temper, but,
+rising up in fury, said, he wondered how the secretary durst presume to
+give his opinion for preserving the life of a traitor; that the
+services you had performed were, by all true reasons of state, the
+great aggravation of your crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish
+the fire by discharge of urine in her majesty’s apartment (which he
+mentioned with horror), might, at another time, raise an inundation by
+the same means, to drown the whole palace; and the same strength which
+enabled you to bring over the enemy’s fleet, might serve, upon the
+first discontent, to carry it back; that he had good reasons to think
+you were a Big-endian in your heart; and, as treason begins in the
+heart, before it appears in overt acts, so he accused you as a traitor
+on that account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death.
+
+“The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits his
+majesty’s revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining you, which
+would soon grow insupportable; that the secretary’s expedient of
+putting out your eyes, was so far from being a remedy against this
+evil, that it would probably increase it, as is manifest from the
+common practice of blinding some kind of fowls, after which they fed
+the faster, and grew sooner fat; that his sacred majesty and the
+council, who are your judges, were, in their own consciences, fully
+convinced of your guilt, which was a sufficient argument to condemn you
+to death, without the formal proofs required by the strict letter of
+the law.
+
+“But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital punishment,
+was graciously pleased to say, that since the council thought the loss
+of your eyes too easy a censure, some other way may be inflicted
+hereafter. And your friend the secretary, humbly desiring to be heard
+again, in answer to what the treasurer had objected, concerning the
+great charge his majesty was at in maintaining you, said, that his
+excellency, who had the sole disposal of the emperor’s revenue, might
+easily provide against that evil, by gradually lessening your
+establishment; by which, for want of sufficient food, you would grow
+weak and faint, and lose your appetite, and consequently, decay, and
+consume in a few months; neither would the stench of your carcass be
+then so dangerous, when it should become more than half diminished; and
+immediately upon your death five or six thousand of his majesty’s
+subjects might, in two or three days, cut your flesh from your bones,
+take it away by cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts, to prevent
+infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of admiration to
+posterity.
+
+“Thus, by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair was
+compromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the project of starving you
+by degrees should be kept a secret; but the sentence of putting out
+your eyes was entered on the books; none dissenting, except Bolgolam
+the admiral, who, being a creature of the empress, was perpetually
+instigated by her majesty to insist upon your death, she having borne
+perpetual malice against you, on account of that infamous and illegal
+method you took to extinguish the fire in her apartment.
+
+“In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to
+your house, and read before you the articles of impeachment; and then
+to signify the great lenity and favour of his majesty and council,
+whereby you are only condemned to the loss of your eyes, which his
+majesty does not question you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and
+twenty of his majesty’s surgeons will attend, in order to see the
+operation well performed, by discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into
+the balls of your eyes, as you lie on the ground.
+
+“I leave to your prudence what measures you will take; and to avoid
+suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner as I came.”
+
+His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many doubts and
+perplexities of mind.
+
+It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (very
+different, as I have been assured, from the practice of former times,)
+that after the court had decreed any cruel execution, either to gratify
+the monarch’s resentment, or the malice of a favourite, the emperor
+always made a speech to his whole council, expressing his great lenity
+and tenderness, as qualities known and confessed by all the world. This
+speech was immediately published throughout the kingdom; nor did any
+thing terrify the people so much as those encomiums on his majesty’s
+mercy; because it was observed, that the more these praises were
+enlarged and insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and the
+sufferer more innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must confess, having never
+been designed for a courtier, either by my birth or education, I was so
+ill a judge of things, that I could not discover the lenity and favour
+of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather to be
+rigorous than gentle. I sometimes thought of standing my trial, for,
+although I could not deny the facts alleged in the several articles,
+yet I hoped they would admit of some extenuation. But having in my life
+perused many state-trials, which I ever observed to terminate as the
+judges thought fit to direct, I durst not rely on so dangerous a
+decision, in so critical a juncture, and against such powerful enemies.
+Once I was strongly bent upon resistance, for, while I had liberty the
+whole strength of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might
+easily with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected
+that project with horror, by remembering the oath I had made to the
+emperor, the favours I received from him, and the high title of
+_nardac_ he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon learned the
+gratitude of courtiers, to persuade myself, that his majesty’s present
+severities acquitted me of all past obligations.
+
+At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may
+incur some censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the
+preserving of my eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own great
+rashness and want of experience; because, if I had then known the
+nature of princes and ministers, which I have since observed in many
+other courts, and their methods of treating criminals less obnoxious
+than myself, I should, with great alacrity and readiness, have
+submitted to so easy a punishment. But hurried on by the precipitancy
+of youth, and having his imperial majesty’s license to pay my
+attendance upon the emperor of Blefuscu, I took this opportunity,
+before the three days were elapsed, to send a letter to my friend the
+secretary, signifying my resolution of setting out that morning for
+Blefuscu, pursuant to the leave I had got; and, without waiting for an
+answer, I went to that side of the island where our fleet lay. I seized
+a large man of war, tied a cable to the prow, and, lifting up the
+anchors, I stripped myself, put my clothes (together with my coverlet,
+which I carried under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing it after
+me, between wading and swimming arrived at the royal port of Blefuscu,
+where the people had long expected me: they lent me two guides to
+direct me to the capital city, which is of the same name. I held them
+in my hands, till I came within two hundred yards of the gate, and
+desired them “to signify my arrival to one of the secretaries, and let
+him know, I there waited his majesty’s command.” I had an answer in
+about an hour, “that his majesty, attended by the royal family, and
+great officers of the court, was coming out to receive me.” I advanced
+a hundred yards. The emperor and his train alighted from their horses,
+the empress and ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they
+were in any fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his
+majesty’s and the empress’s hands. I told his majesty, “that I was come
+according to my promise, and with the license of the emperor my master,
+to have the honour of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him any
+service in my power, consistent with my duty to my own prince;” not
+mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular
+information of it, and might suppose myself wholly ignorant of any such
+design; neither could I reasonably conceive that the emperor would
+discover the secret, while I was out of his power; wherein, however, it
+soon appeared I was deceived.
+
+I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my
+reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so
+great a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house
+and bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my coverlet.
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu; and,
+after some difficulties, returns safe to his native country.
+
+
+Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the north-east
+coast of the island, I observed, about half a league off in the sea,
+somewhat that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my shoes and
+stockings, and, wading two or three hundred yards, I found the object
+to approach nearer by force of the tide; and then plainly saw it to be
+a real boat, which I supposed might by some tempest have been driven
+from a ship. Whereupon, I returned immediately towards the city, and
+desired his imperial majesty to lend me twenty of the tallest vessels
+he had left, after the loss of his fleet, and three thousand seamen,
+under the command of his vice-admiral. This fleet sailed round, while I
+went back the shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered the
+boat. I found the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all
+provided with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient
+strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and waded till I
+came within a hundred yards of the boat, after which I was forced to
+swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me the end of the cord,
+which I fastened to a hole in the fore-part of the boat, and the other
+end to a man of war; but I found all my labour to little purpose; for,
+being out of my depth, I was not able to work. In this necessity I was
+forced to swim behind, and push the boat forward, as often as I could,
+with one of my hands; and the tide favouring me, I advanced so far that
+I could just hold up my chin and feel the ground. I rested two or three
+minutes, and then gave the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea
+was no higher than my arm-pits; and now, the most laborious part being
+over, I took out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the
+ships, and fastened them first to the boat, and then to nine of the
+vessels which attended me; the wind being favourable, the seamen towed,
+and I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore; and,
+waiting till the tide was out, I got dry to the boat, and by the
+assistance of two thousand men, with ropes and engines, I made a shift
+to turn it on its bottom, and found it was but little damaged.
+
+I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by
+the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get my
+boat to the royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of people
+appeared upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of so prodigious
+a vessel. I told the emperor “that my good fortune had thrown this boat
+in my way, to carry me to some place whence I might return into my
+native country; and begged his majesty’s orders for getting materials
+to fit it up, together with his license to depart;” which, after some
+kind expostulations, he was pleased to grant.
+
+I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any
+express relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu. But I
+was afterward given privately to understand, that his imperial majesty,
+never imagining I had the least notice of his designs, believed I was
+only gone to Blefuscu in performance of my promise, according to the
+license he had given me, which was well known at our court, and would
+return in a few days, when the ceremony was ended. But he was at last
+in pain at my long absence; and after consulting with the treasurer and
+the rest of that cabal, a person of quality was dispatched with the
+copy of the articles against me. This envoy had instructions to
+represent to the monarch of Blefuscu, “the great lenity of his master,
+who was content to punish me no farther than with the loss of my eyes;
+that I had fled from justice; and if I did not return in two hours, I
+should be deprived of my title of _nardac_, and declared a traitor.”
+The envoy further added, “that in order to maintain the peace and amity
+between both empires, his master expected that his brother of Blefuscu
+would give orders to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and
+foot, to be punished as a traitor.”
+
+The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult, returned
+an answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He said, “that as
+for sending me bound, his brother knew it was impossible; that,
+although I had deprived him of his fleet, yet he owed great obligations
+to me for many good offices I had done him in making the peace. That,
+however, both their majesties would soon be made easy; for I had found
+a prodigious vessel on the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he
+had given orders to fit up, with my own assistance and direction; and
+he hoped, in a few weeks, both empires would be freed from so
+insupportable an encumbrance.”
+
+With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput; and the monarch of
+Blefuscu related to me all that had passed; offering me at the same
+time (but under the strictest confidence) his gracious protection, if I
+would continue in his service; wherein, although I believed him
+sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any confidence in princes or
+ministers, where I could possibly avoid it; and therefore, with all due
+acknowledgments for his favourable intentions, I humbly begged to be
+excused. I told him, “that since fortune, whether good or evil, had
+thrown a vessel in my way, I was resolved to venture myself on the
+ocean, rather than be an occasion of difference between two such mighty
+monarchs.” Neither did I find the emperor at all displeased; and I
+discovered, by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my
+resolution, and so were most of his ministers.
+
+These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat sooner
+than I intended; to which the court, impatient to have me gone, very
+readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to make two
+sails to my boat, according to my directions, by quilting thirteen
+folds of their strongest linen together. I was at the pains of making
+ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest
+and strongest of theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a
+long search, by the sea-shore, served me for an anchor. I had the
+tallow of three hundred cows, for greasing my boat, and other uses. I
+was at incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest
+timber-trees, for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted
+by his majesty’s ship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them,
+after I had done the rough work.
+
+In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his
+majesty’s commands, and to take my leave. The emperor and royal family
+came out of the palace; I lay down on my face to kiss his hand, which
+he very graciously gave me: so did the empress and young princes of the
+blood. His majesty presented me with fifty purses of two hundred
+_sprugs_ a-piece, together with his picture at full length, which I put
+immediately into one of my gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The
+ceremonies at my departure were too many to trouble the reader with at
+this time.
+
+I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen, and three
+hundred sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much meat
+ready dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six
+cows and two bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to
+carry them into my own country, and propagate the breed. And to feed
+them on board, I had a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn. I would
+gladly have taken a dozen of the natives, but this was a thing the
+emperor would by no means permit; and, besides a diligent search into
+my pockets, his majesty engaged my honour “not to carry away any of his
+subjects, although with their own consent and desire.”
+
+Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on
+the twenty-fourth day of September 1701, at six in the morning; and
+when I had gone about four leagues to the northward, the wind being at
+south-east, at six in the evening I descried a small island, about half
+a league to the north-west. I advanced forward, and cast anchor on the
+lee-side of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took
+some refreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well, and as I
+conjectured at least six hours, for I found the day broke in two hours
+after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate my breakfast before the sun
+was up; and heaving anchor, the wind being favourable, I steered the
+same course that I had done the day before, wherein I was directed by
+my pocket compass. My intention was to reach, if possible, one of those
+islands which I had reason to believe lay to the north-east of Van
+Diemen’s Land. I discovered nothing all that day; but upon the next,
+about three in the afternoon, when I had by my computation made
+twenty-four leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the
+south-east; my course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no
+answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made
+all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out
+her ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I
+was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved
+country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship slackened her
+sails, and I came up with her between five and six in the evening,
+September 26th; but my heart leaped within me to see her English
+colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat-pockets, and got on board
+with all my little cargo of provisions. The vessel was an English
+merchantman, returning from Japan by the North and South seas; the
+captain, Mr. John Biddel, of Deptford, a very civil man, and an
+excellent sailor.
+
+We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south; there were about fifty
+men in the ship; and here I met an old comrade of mine, one Peter
+Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain. This gentleman
+treated me with kindness, and desired I would let him know what place I
+came from last, and whither I was bound; which I did in a few words,
+but he thought I was raving, and that the dangers I underwent had
+disturbed my head; whereupon I took my black cattle and sheep out of my
+pocket, which, after great astonishment, clearly convinced him of my
+veracity. I then showed him the gold given me by the emperor of
+Blefuscu, together with his majesty’s picture at full length, and some
+other rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundreds
+_sprugs_ each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to make him a
+present of a cow and a sheep big with young.
+
+I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this
+voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the
+Downs on the 13th of April, 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the
+rats on board carried away one of my sheep; I found her bones in a
+hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of my cattle I got safe
+ashore, and set them a-grazing in a bowling-green at Greenwich, where
+the fineness of the grass made them feed very heartily, though I had
+always feared the contrary: neither could I possibly have preserved
+them in so long a voyage, if the captain had not allowed me some of his
+best biscuit, which, rubbed to powder, and mingled with water, was
+their constant food. The short time I continued in England, I made a
+considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of quality and
+others: and before I began my second voyage, I sold them for six
+hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed is considerably
+increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will prove much to the
+advantage of the woollen manufacture, by the fineness of the fleeces.
+
+I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable
+desire of seeing foreign countries, would suffer me to continue no
+longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a
+good house at Redriff. My remaining stock I carried with me, part in
+money and part in goods, in hopes to improve my fortunes. My eldest
+uncle John had left me an estate in land, near Epping, of about thirty
+pounds a year; and I had a long lease of the Black Bull in Fetter Lane,
+which yielded me as much more; so that I was not in any danger of
+leaving my family upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his
+uncle, was at the grammar school, and a towardly child. My daughter
+Betty (who is now well married, and has children) was then at her
+needlework. I took leave of my wife, and boy and girl, with tears on
+both sides, and went on board the Adventure, a merchant ship of three
+hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas, of Liverpool,
+commander. But my account of this voyage must be referred to the Second
+Part of my Travels.
+
+
+PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+A great storm described; the long boat sent to fetch water; the author
+goes with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is seized by
+one of the natives, and carried to a farmer’s house. His reception,
+with several accidents that happened there. A description of the
+inhabitants.
+
+
+Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and restless
+life, in two months after my return, I again left my native country,
+and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June, 1702, in the
+Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man, commander, bound for
+Surat. We had a very prosperous gale, till we arrived at the Cape of
+Good Hope, where we landed for fresh water; but discovering a leak, we
+unshipped our goods and wintered there; for the captain falling sick of
+an ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set
+sail, and had a good voyage till we passed the Straits of Madagascar;
+but having got northward of that island, and to about five degrees
+south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow a
+constant equal gale between the north and west, from the beginning of
+December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow
+with much greater violence, and more westerly than usual, continuing so
+for twenty days together: during which time, we were driven a little to
+the east of the Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward of
+the line, as our captain found by an observation he took the 2nd of
+May, at which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm, whereat
+I was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in
+the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a storm, which
+accordingly happened the day following: for the southern wind, called
+the southern monsoon, began to set in.
+
+Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail, and stood
+by to hand the fore-sail; but making foul weather, we looked the guns
+were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very broad off, so we
+thought it better spooning before the sea, than trying or hulling. We
+reefed the fore-sail and set him, and hauled aft the fore-sheet; the
+helm was hard a-weather. The ship wore bravely. We belayed the fore
+down-haul; but the sail was split, and we hauled down the yard, and got
+the sail into the ship, and unbound all the things clear of it. It was
+a very fierce storm; the sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off
+upon the laniard of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm. We
+would not get down our topmast, but let all stand, because she scudded
+before the sea very well, and we knew that the top-mast being aloft,
+the ship was the wholesomer, and made better way through the sea,
+seeing we had sea-room. When the storm was over, we set fore-sail and
+main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the mizen,
+main-top-sail, and the fore-top-sail. Our course was east-north-east,
+the wind was at south-west. We got the starboard tacks aboard, we cast
+off our weather-braces and lifts; we set in the lee-braces, and hauled
+forward by the weather-bowlings, and hauled them tight, and belayed
+them, and hauled over the mizen tack to windward, and kept her full and
+by as near as she would lie.
+
+During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-west,
+we were carried, by my computation, about five hundred leagues to the
+east, so that the oldest sailor on board could not tell in what part of
+the world we were. Our provisions held out well, our ship was staunch,
+and our crew all in good health; but we lay in the utmost distress for
+water. We thought it best to hold on the same course, rather than turn
+more northerly, which might have brought us to the north-west part of
+Great Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea.
+
+On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the top-mast discovered land.
+On the 17th, we came in full view of a great island, or continent (for
+we knew not whether;) on the south side whereof was a small neck of
+land jutting out into the sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship
+of above one hundred tons. We cast anchor within a league of this
+creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the
+long-boat, with vessels for water, if any could be found. I desired his
+leave to go with them, that I might see the country, and make what
+discoveries I could. When we came to land we saw no river or spring,
+nor any sign of inhabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the shore to
+find out some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile
+on the other side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I
+now began to be weary, and seeing nothing to entertain my curiosity, I
+returned gently down towards the creek; and the sea being full in my
+view, I saw our men already got into the boat, and rowing for life to
+the ship. I was going to holla after them, although it had been to
+little purpose, when I observed a huge creature walking after them in
+the sea, as fast as he could: he waded not much deeper than his knees,
+and took prodigious strides: but our men had the start of him half a
+league, and, the sea thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the
+monster was not able to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told,
+for I durst not stay to see the issue of the adventure; but ran as fast
+as I could the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill,
+which gave me some prospect of the country. I found it fully
+cultivated; but that which first surprised me was the length of the
+grass, which, in those grounds that seemed to be kept for hay, was
+about twenty feet high.
+
+I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to
+the inhabitants only as a foot-path through a field of barley. Here I
+walked on for some time, but could see little on either side, it being
+now near harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an
+hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced in with a hedge
+of at least one hundred and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty
+that I could make no computation of their altitude. There was a stile
+to pass from this field into the next. It had four steps, and a stone
+to cross over when you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me
+to climb this stile, because every step was six-feet high, and the
+upper stone about twenty. I was endeavouring to find some gap in the
+hedge, when I discovered one of the inhabitants in the next field,
+advancing towards the stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in
+the sea pursuing our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire
+steeple, and took about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could
+guess. I was struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to
+hide myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile
+looking back into the next field on the right hand, and heard him call
+in a voice many degrees louder than a speaking-trumpet: but the noise
+was so high in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was
+thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself, came towards him with
+reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook about the largeness of six
+scythes. These people were not so well clad as the first, whose
+servants or labourers they seemed to be; for, upon some words he spoke,
+they went to reap the corn in the field where I lay. I kept from them
+at as great a distance as I could, but was forced to move with extreme
+difficulty, for the stalks of the corn were sometimes not above a foot
+distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my body betwixt them. However,
+I made a shift to go forward, till I came to a part of the field where
+the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible for
+me to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that I could
+not creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong and
+pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At the
+same time I heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me. Being
+quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and dispair, I
+lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my
+days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and fatherless children. I lamented
+my own folly and wilfulness, in attempting a second voyage, against the
+advice of all my friends and relations. In this terrible agitation of
+mind, I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants
+looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world;
+where I was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform
+those other actions, which will be recorded for ever in the chronicles
+of that empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although
+attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification it must prove to
+me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one single
+Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the least
+of my misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to be more
+savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I expect but
+to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among these enormous
+barbarians that should happen to seize me? Undoubtedly philosophers are
+in the right, when they tell us that nothing is great or little
+otherwise than by comparison. It might have pleased fortune, to have
+let the Lilliputians find some nation, where the people were as
+diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me. And who knows but
+that even this prodigious race of mortals might be equally overmatched
+in some distant part of the world, whereof we have yet no discovery.
+
+Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with these
+reflections, when one of the reapers, approaching within ten yards of
+the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next step I
+should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in two with his
+reaping-hook. And therefore, when he was again about to move, I
+screamed as loud as fear could make me: whereupon the huge creature
+trod short, and, looking round about under him for some time, at last
+espied me as I lay on the ground. He considered awhile, with the
+caution of one who endeavours to lay hold on a small dangerous animal
+in such a manner that it shall not be able either to scratch or bite
+him, as I myself have sometimes done with a weasel in England. At
+length he ventured to take me behind, by the middle, between his
+fore-finger and thumb, and brought me within three yards of his eyes,
+that he might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his meaning,
+and my good fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I resolved
+not to struggle in the least as he held me in the air above sixty feet
+from the ground, although he grievously pinched my sides, for fear I
+should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was to raise my eyes
+towards the sun, and place my hands together in a supplicating posture,
+and to speak some words in a humble melancholy tone, suitable to the
+condition I then was in: for I apprehended every moment that he would
+dash me against the ground, as we usually do any little hateful animal,
+which we have a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it, that
+he appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look upon
+me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce articulate
+words, although he could not understand them. In the mean time I was
+not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears, and turning my head
+towards my sides; letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I
+was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed to
+apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the lappet of his coat, he put me
+gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master, who
+was a substantial farmer, and the same person I had first seen in the
+field.
+
+The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an account
+of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a small straw,
+about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted up the lappets
+of my coat; which it seems he thought to be some kind of covering that
+nature had given me. He blew my hairs aside to take a better view of my
+face. He called his hinds about him, and asked them, as I afterwards
+learned, whether they had ever seen in the fields any little creature
+that resembled me. He then placed me softly on the ground upon all
+fours, but I got immediately up, and walked slowly backward and
+forward, to let those people see I had no intent to run away. They all
+sat down in a circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I
+pulled off my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my
+knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud
+as I could: I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and humbly
+presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his hand, then
+applied it close to his eye to see what it was, and afterwards turned
+it several times with the point of a pin (which he took out of his
+sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he
+should place his hand on the ground. I then took the purse, and,
+opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There were six Spanish
+pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty or thirty smaller coins. I
+saw him wet the tip of his little finger upon his tongue, and take up
+one of my largest pieces, and then another; but he seemed to be wholly
+ignorant what they were. He made me a sign to put them again into my
+purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which, after offering it to
+him several times, I thought it best to do.
+
+The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational creature.
+He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice pierced my ears like
+that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate enough. I answered
+as loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear
+within two yards of me: but all in vain, for we were wholly
+unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants to their work,
+and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it
+on his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground with the palm
+upward, making me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it
+was not above a foot in thickness. I thought it my part to obey, and,
+for fear of falling, laid myself at full length upon the handkerchief,
+with the remainder of which he lapped me up to the head for further
+security, and in this manner carried me home to his house. There he
+called his wife, and showed me to her; but she screamed and ran back,
+as women in England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However,
+when she had a while seen my behaviour, and how well I observed the
+signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew
+extremely tender of me.
+
+It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It was
+only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of a
+husbandman,) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet diameter. The
+company were, the farmer and his wife, three children, and an old
+grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at some
+distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the
+floor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the
+edge, for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled
+some bread on a trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a low
+bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them
+exceeding delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup,
+which held about two gallons, and filled it with drink; I took up the
+vessel with much difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful
+manner drank to her ladyship’s health, expressing the words as loud as
+I could in English, which made the company laugh so heartily, that I
+was almost deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small
+cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come
+to his trencher side; but as I walked on the table, being in great
+surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily conceive and
+excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my
+face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the
+good people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held under my
+arm out of good manners,) and waving it over my head, made three
+huzzas, to show I had got no mischief by my fall. But advancing forward
+towards my master (as I shall henceforth call him,) his youngest son,
+who sat next to him, an arch boy of about ten years old, took me up by
+the legs, and held me so high in the air, that I trembled every limb:
+but his father snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such
+a box on the left ear, as would have felled an European troop of horse
+to the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But being afraid
+the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how mischievous all
+children among us naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young kittens,
+and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and pointing to the boy, made my
+master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired his son might
+be pardoned. The father complied, and the lad took his seat again,
+whereupon I went to him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and
+made him stroke me gently with it.
+
+In the midst of dinner, my mistress’s favourite cat leaped into her
+lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers at
+work; and turning my head, I found it proceeded from the purring of
+that animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I
+computed by the view of her head, and one of her paws, while her
+mistress was feeding and stroking her. The fierceness of this
+creature’s countenance altogether discomposed me; though I stood at the
+farther end of the table, above fifty feet off; and although my
+mistress held her fast, for fear she might give a spring, and seize me
+in her talons. But it happened there was no danger, for the cat took
+not the least notice of me when my master placed me within three yards
+of her. And as I have been always told, and found true by experience in
+my travels, that flying or discovering fear before a fierce animal, is
+a certain way to make it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this
+dangerous juncture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with
+intrepidity five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came
+within half a yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she
+were more afraid of me: I had less apprehension concerning the dogs,
+whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in farmers’
+houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four elephants,
+and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the mastiff, but not so
+large.
+
+When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a year
+old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that you
+might have heard from London Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual oratory
+of infants, to get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure
+indulgence, took me up, and put me towards the child, who presently
+seized me by the middle, and got my head into his mouth, where I roared
+so loud that the urchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I should
+infallibly have broke my neck, if the mother had not held her apron
+under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was
+a kind of hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a
+cable to the child’s waist: but all in vain; so that she was forced to
+apply the last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever
+disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which I
+cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader an
+idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and
+could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple was about
+half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the dug, so
+varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear
+more nauseous: for I had a near sight of her, she sitting down, the
+more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table. This made
+me reflect upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so
+beautiful to us, only because they are of our own size, and their
+defects not to be seen but through a magnifying glass; where we find by
+experiment that the smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse,
+and ill-coloured.
+
+I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those diminutive
+people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and talking upon this
+subject with a person of learning there, who was an intimate friend of
+mine, he said that my face appeared much fairer and smoother when he
+looked on me from the ground, than it did upon a nearer view, when I
+took him up in my hand, and brought him close, which he confessed was
+at first a very shocking sight. He said, “he could discover great holes
+in my skin; that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than
+the bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several colours
+altogether disagreeable:” although I must beg leave to say for myself,
+that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very little
+sunburnt by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the
+ladies in that emperor’s court, he used to tell me, “one had freckles;
+another too wide a mouth; a third too large a nose;” nothing of which I
+was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection was obvious enough;
+which, however, I could not forbear, lest the reader might think those
+vast creatures were actually deformed: for I must do them the justice
+to say, they are a comely race of people, and particularly the features
+of my master’s countenance, although he was but a farmer, when I beheld
+him from the height of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned.
+
+When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, as I
+could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict charge to
+take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which my
+mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed, and covered me with a
+clean white handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of a
+man of war.
+
+I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife and
+children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and found myself
+alone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide, and
+above two hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress
+was gone about her household affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was
+eight yards from the floor. Some natural necessities required me to get
+down; I durst not presume to call; and if I had, it would have been in
+vain, with such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from the room
+where I lay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I was under
+these circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling
+backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost to my
+face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to defend
+myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on both
+sides, and one of them held his forefeet at my collar; but I had the
+good fortune to rip up his belly before he could do me any mischief. He
+fell down at my feet; and the other, seeing the fate of his comrade,
+made his escape, but not without one good wound on the back, which I
+gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from him. After
+this exploit, I walked gently to and fro on the bed, to recover my
+breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large
+mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken
+off my belt before I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to
+pieces and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it
+to be two yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach
+to drag the carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding; I
+observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across the neck,
+I thoroughly despatched it.
+
+Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all bloody,
+ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, smiling, and
+making other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat she was extremely
+rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of
+tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then she set me on a table,
+where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the lappet of
+my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one
+thing which another could not do for me, and therefore endeavoured to
+make my mistress understand, that I desired to be set down on the
+floor; which after she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to
+express myself farther, than by pointing to the door, and bowing
+several times. The good woman, with much difficulty, at last perceived
+what I would be at, and taking me up again in her hand, walked into the
+garden, where she set me down. I went on one side about two hundred
+yards, and beckoning to her not to look or to follow me, I hid myself
+between two leaves of sorrel, and there discharged the necessities of
+nature.
+
+I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the
+like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear to
+groveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to
+enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of
+public as well as private life, which was my sole design in presenting
+this and other accounts of my travels to the world; wherein I have been
+chiefly studious of truth, without affecting any ornaments of learning
+or of style. But the whole scene of this voyage made so strong an
+impression on my mind, and is so deeply fixed in my memory, that, in
+committing it to paper I did not omit one material circumstance:
+however, upon a strict review, I blotted out several passages of less
+moment which were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as
+tedious and trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without
+justice, accused.
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+A description of the farmer’s daughter. The author carried to a
+market-town, and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his
+journey.
+
+
+My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly parts
+for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in dressing her
+baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the baby’s cradle for me
+against night: the cradle was put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and
+the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf for fear of the rats. This was
+my bed all the time I staid with those people, though made more
+convenient by degrees, as I began to learn their language and make my
+wants known. This young girl was so handy, that after I had once or
+twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress and
+undress me, though I never gave her that trouble when she would let me
+do either myself. She made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as
+fine cloth as could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth;
+and these she constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was
+likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the language: when I pointed
+to any thing, she told me the name of it in her own tongue, so that in
+a few days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind to. She was
+very good-natured, and not above forty feet high, being little for her
+age. She gave me the name of _Grildrig_, which the family took up, and
+afterwards the whole kingdom. The word imports what the Latins call
+_nanunculus_, the Italians _homunceletino_, and the English _mannikin_.
+To her I chiefly owe my preservation in that country: we never parted
+while I was there; I called her my _Glumdalclitch_, or little nurse;
+and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I omitted this honourable
+mention of her care and affection towards me, which I heartily wish it
+lay in my power to requite as she deserves, instead of being the
+innocent, but unhappy instrument of her disgrace, as I have too much
+reason to fear.
+
+It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that my
+master had found a strange animal in the field, about the bigness of a
+_splacnuck_, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature;
+which it likewise imitated in all its actions; seemed to speak in a
+little language of its own, had already learned several words of
+theirs, went erect upon two legs, was tame and gentle, would come when
+it was called, do whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the
+world, and a complexion fairer than a nobleman’s daughter of three
+years old. Another farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular
+friend of my master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire into the
+truth of this story. I was immediately produced, and placed upon a
+table, where I walked as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up
+again, made my reverence to my master’s guest, asked him in his own
+language how he did, and told him _he was welcome_, just as my little
+nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and dim-sighted, put on
+his spectacles to behold me better; at which I could not forbear
+laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full moon
+shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who discovered the
+cause of my mirth, bore me company in laughing, at which the old fellow
+was fool enough to be angry and out of countenance. He had the
+character of a great miser; and, to my misfortune, he well deserved it,
+by the cursed advice he gave my master, to show me as a sight upon a
+market-day in the next town, which was half an hour’s riding, about
+two-and-twenty miles from our house. I guessed there was some mischief
+when I observed my master and his friend whispering together, sometimes
+pointing at me; and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and
+understood some of their words. But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my
+little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly picked
+out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom, and fell a
+weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some mischief would
+happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might squeeze me to death, or
+break one of my limbs by taking me in their hands. She had also
+observed how modest I was in my nature, how nicely I regarded my
+honour, and what an indignity I should conceive it, to be exposed for
+money as a public spectacle, to the meanest of the people. She said,
+her papa and mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now
+she found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they
+pretended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it
+to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm, that I was less
+concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that
+I should one day recover my liberty: and as to the ignominy of being
+carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a perfect
+stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could never be
+charged upon me as a reproach, if ever I should return to England,
+since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have
+undergone the same distress.
+
+My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box
+the next market-day to the neighbouring town, and took along with him
+his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was
+close on every side, with a little door for me to go in and out, and a
+few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so careful as to put
+the quilt of her baby’s bed into it, for me to lie down on. However, I
+was terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it was but
+of half an hour: for the horse went about forty feet at every step and
+trotted so high, that the agitation was equal to the rising and falling
+of a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent. Our journey was
+somewhat farther than from London to St. Alban’s. My master alighted at
+an inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting a while with the
+inn-keeper, and making some necessary preparations, he hired the
+_grultrud_, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange
+creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a
+_splacnuck_ (an animal in that country very finely shaped, about six
+feet long,) and in every part of the body resembling a human creature,
+could speak several words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks.
+
+I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might
+be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a low stool
+close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My
+master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to
+see me. I walked about on the table as the girl commanded; she asked me
+questions, as far as she knew my understanding of the language reached,
+and I answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several times to
+the company, paid my humble respects, said _they were welcome_, and
+used some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled
+with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and drank
+their health, I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it after the
+manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me a part of a straw, which
+I exercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my youth. I was that
+day shown to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to act over
+again the same fopperies, till I was half dead with weariness and
+vexation; for those who had seen me made such wonderful reports, that
+the people were ready to break down the doors to come in. My master,
+for his own interest, would not suffer any one to touch me except my
+nurse; and to prevent danger, benches were set round the table at such
+a distance as to put me out of every body’s reach. However, an unlucky
+school-boy aimed a hazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly
+missed me; otherwise it came with so much violence, that it would have
+infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large as a small
+pumpkin, but I had the satisfaction to see the young rogue well beaten,
+and turned out of the room.
+
+My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next
+market-day; and in the meantime he prepared a convenient vehicle for
+me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my first
+journey, and with entertaining company for eight hours together, that I
+could hardly stand upon my legs, or speak a word. It was at least three
+days before I recovered my strength; and that I might have no rest at
+home, all the neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles round,
+hearing of my fame, came to see me at my master’s own house. There
+could not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children
+(for the country is very populous;) and my master demanded the rate of
+a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were only to a
+single family; so that for some time I had but little ease every day of
+the week (except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath,) although I were
+not carried to the town.
+
+My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to carry
+me to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having therefore
+provided himself with all things necessary for a long journey, and
+settled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, and upon the
+17th of August, 1703, about two months after my arrival, we set out for
+the metropolis, situated near the middle of that empire, and about
+three thousand miles distance from our house. My master made his
+daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her lap, in a
+box tied about her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the
+softest cloth she could get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with
+her baby’s bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries, and made
+everything as convenient as she could. We had no other company but a
+boy of the house, who rode after us with the luggage.
+
+My master’s design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and to
+step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any village, or
+person of quality’s house, where he might expect custom. We made easy
+journeys, of not above seven or eight score miles a day; for
+Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with
+the trotting of the horse. She often took me out of my box, at my own
+desire, to give me air, and show me the country, but always held me
+fast by a leading-string. We passed over five or six rivers, many
+degrees broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was
+hardly a rivulet so small as the Thames at London Bridge. We were ten
+weeks in our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides
+many villages, and private families.
+
+On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in
+their language _Lorbrulgrud_, or Pride of the Universe. My master took
+a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far from the royal
+palace, and put out bills in the usual form, containing an exact
+description of my person and parts. He hired a large room between three
+and four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in diameter,
+upon which I was to act my part, and pallisadoed it round three feet
+from the edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I was
+shown ten times a day, to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I
+could now speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood
+every word, that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their
+alphabet, and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there;
+for Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and at
+leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her
+pocket, not much larger than a Sanson’s Atlas; it was a common treatise
+for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their religion:
+out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the words.
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master the
+farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his majesty’s
+great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the author. He is in
+high favour with the queen. He stands up for the honour of his own
+country. His quarrels with the queen’s dwarf.
+
+
+The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few weeks, a
+very considerable change in my health: the more my master got by me,
+the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was
+almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I
+must soon die, resolved to make as good a hand of me as he could. While
+he was thus reasoning and resolving with himself, a _sardral_, or
+gentleman-usher, came from court, commanding my master to carry me
+immediately thither for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some
+of the latter had already been to see me, and reported strange things
+of my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those who
+attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I fell
+on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot; but
+this gracious princess held out her little finger towards me, after I
+was set on the table, which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip
+of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me some general
+questions about my country and my travels, which I answered as
+distinctly, and in as few words as I could. She asked, “whether I could
+be content to live at court?” I bowed down to the board of the table,
+and humbly answered “that I was my master’s slave: but, if I were at my
+own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty’s
+service.” She then asked my master, “whether he was willing to sell me
+at a good price?” He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was
+ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold,
+which were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness
+of eight hundred moidores; but allowing for the proportion of all
+things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold
+among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in
+England. I then said to the queen, “since I was now her majesty’s most
+humble creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch,
+who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood
+to do it so well, might be admitted into her service, and continue to
+be my nurse and instructor.”
+
+Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer’s consent,
+who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the
+poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master
+withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good
+service; to which I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow.
+
+The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone out of
+the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty,
+“that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not
+dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found by chance in
+his fields: which obligation was amply recompensed, by the gain he had
+made in showing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now
+sold me for. That the life I had since led was laborious enough to kill
+an animal of ten times my strength. That my health was much impaired,
+by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the
+day; and that, if my master had not thought my life in danger, her
+majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all
+fear of being ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an
+empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight
+of her subjects, the phœnix of the creation, so I hoped my late
+master’s apprehensions would appear to be groundless; for I already
+found my spirits revive, by the influence of her most august presence.”
+
+This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and
+hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar
+to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch,
+while she was carrying me to court.
+
+The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking,
+was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive
+an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who
+was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity
+and austere countenance, not well observing my shape at first view,
+asked the queen after a cold manner “how long it was since she grew
+fond of a _splacnuck_?” for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay
+upon my breast in her majesty’s right hand. But this princess, who has
+an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon the
+scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself,
+which I did in a very few words: and Glumdalclitch who attended at the
+cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being
+admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at her father’s
+house.
+
+The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions,
+had been educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly
+mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk
+erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might be a piece of
+clock-work (which is in that country arrived to a very great
+perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But when he heard my
+voice, and found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could
+not conceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the
+relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought
+it a story concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had
+taught me a set of words to make me sell at a better price. Upon this
+imagination, he put several other questions to me, and still received
+rational answers: no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and
+an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which
+I had learned at the farmer’s house, and did not suit the polite style
+of a court.
+
+His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their
+weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These
+gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much nicety,
+were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could
+not be produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was
+not framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness,
+or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by
+my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a
+carnivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and
+field mice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I
+should be able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other
+insects, which they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that
+I could not possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I
+might be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by
+the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished; and
+that I had lived several years, as it was manifest from my beard, the
+stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They
+would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all
+degrees of comparison; for the queen’s favourite dwarf, the smallest
+ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much
+debate, they concluded unanimously, that I was only _relplum scalcath_,
+which is interpreted literally _lusus naturæ_; a determination exactly
+agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors,
+disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby the followers of
+Aristotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their ignorance, have
+invented this wonderful solution of all difficulties, to the
+unspeakable advancement of human knowledge.
+
+After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two.
+I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, “that I came
+from a country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and
+of my own stature; where the animals, trees, and houses, were all in
+proportion, and where, by consequence, I might be as able to defend
+myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty’s subjects could
+do here; which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen’s
+arguments.” To this they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying,
+“that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson.” The king,
+who had a much better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent
+for the farmer, who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town.
+Having therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him
+with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think that what we
+told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a
+particular care should be taken of me; and was of opinion that
+Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending me,
+because he observed we had a great affection for each other. A
+convenient apartment was provided for her at court: she had a sort of
+governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress her,
+and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of me was
+wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded her own
+cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for a bedchamber,
+after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This man
+was a most ingenious artist, and according to my direction, in three
+weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, and
+twelve high, with sash-windows, a door, and two closets, like a London
+bed-chamber. The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and
+down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty’s
+upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it
+with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the roof
+over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiosities,
+undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance
+not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to put my things in.
+The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and the
+ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who
+carried me, and to break the force of a jolt, when I went in a coach. I
+desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in.
+The smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen
+among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman’s
+house in England. I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own,
+fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the
+thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not much
+thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed
+to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling
+the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent
+habit.
+
+The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine without
+me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her majesty ate, just
+at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood on a
+stool on the floor near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had
+an entire set of silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries,
+which, in proportion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than
+what I have seen in a London toy-shop for the furniture of a
+baby-house: these my little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box,
+and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No
+person dined with the queen but the two princesses royal, the eldest
+sixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month.
+Her majesty used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of
+which I carved for myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in
+miniature: for the queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up,
+at one mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a
+meal, which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would
+craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although
+it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put a
+bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny loaves. She
+drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a draught. Her knives
+were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon the handle. The
+spoons, forks, and other instruments, were all in the same proportion.
+I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out of curiosity, to see some
+of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives
+and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then
+beheld so terrible a sight.
+
+It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, is
+their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes,
+dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I was now become
+a great favourite; and at these times, my little chair and table were
+placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This prince
+took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners,
+religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him
+the best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear, and his
+judgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and observations
+upon all I said. But I confess, that, after I had been a little too
+copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars by
+sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the
+prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear
+taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently with the other,
+after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me, “whether I was a whig or
+tory?” Then turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a
+white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the Royal Sovereign, he
+observed “how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be
+mimicked by such diminutive insects as I: and yet,” says he, “I dare
+engage these creatures have their titles and distinctions of honour;
+they contrive little nests and burrows, that they call houses and
+cities; they make a figure in dress and equipage; they love, they
+fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray!” And thus he continued
+on, while my colour came and went several times, with indignation, to
+hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of
+France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and
+truth, the pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated.
+
+But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature
+thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after
+having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse of this
+people, and observed every object upon which I cast my eyes to be of
+proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from
+their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a
+company of English lords and ladies in their finery and birth-day
+clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of
+strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the truth, I should have
+been strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his
+grandees did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself,
+when the queen used to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass,
+by which both our persons appeared before me in full view together; and
+there could be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I
+really began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual
+size.
+
+Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen’s dwarf; who
+being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily
+think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at seeing a
+creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger
+and look big as he passed by me in the queen’s antechamber, while I was
+standing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court,
+and he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against
+which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging
+him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of
+court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so
+nettled with something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon
+the frame of her majesty’s chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was
+sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large
+silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell
+over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might
+have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that instant happened
+to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright,
+that she wanted presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran
+to my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a quart of
+cream. I was put to bed: however, I received no other damage than the
+loss of a suit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was
+soundly whipt, and as a farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl
+of cream into which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to
+favour; for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high
+quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for
+I could not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might have
+carried his resentment.
+
+He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing,
+although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would have
+immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to
+intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and,
+after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect,
+as it stood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while
+Glumdalclitch was gone to the side-board, mounted the stool that she
+stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and
+squeezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my
+waist, where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure.
+I believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was become of
+me; for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes seldom get
+their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my stockings and
+breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other
+punishment than a sound whipping.
+
+I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness;
+and she used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great
+cowards as myself? The occasion was this: the kingdom is much pestered
+with flies in summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as
+a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with
+their continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would
+sometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement,
+or spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the
+natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as mine,
+in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose, or
+forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling very offensively;
+and I could easily trace that viscous matter, which, our naturalists
+tell us, enables those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a
+ceiling. I had much ado to defend myself against these detestable
+animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on my face. It
+was the common practice of the dwarf, to catch a number of these
+insects in his hand, as schoolboys do among us, and let them out
+suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the
+queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew
+in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.
+
+I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a box upon a
+window, as she usually did in fair days to give me air (for I durst not
+venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do
+with cages in England), after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat
+down at my table to eat a piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, above
+twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room, humming
+louder than the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them seized my
+cake, and carried it piecemeal away; others flew about my head and
+face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmost
+terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw my
+hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them, but the
+rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These insects were as
+large as partridges: I took out their stings, found them an inch and a
+half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all; and
+having since shown them, with some other curiosities, in several parts
+of Europe, upon my return to England I gave three of them to Gresham
+College, and kept the fourth for myself.
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps. The
+king’s palace; and some account of the metropolis. The author’s way of
+travelling. The chief temple described.
+
+
+I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country, as
+far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand miles round
+Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always attended,
+never went farther when she accompanied the king in his progresses, and
+there staid till his majesty returned from viewing his frontiers. The
+whole extent of this prince’s dominions reaches about six thousand
+miles in length, and from three to five in breadth: whence I cannot but
+conclude, that our geographers of Europe are in a great error, by
+supposing nothing but sea between Japan and California; for it was ever
+my opinion, that there must be a balance of earth to counterpoise the
+great continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their
+maps and charts, by joining this vast tract of land to the north-west
+parts of America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my assistance.
+
+The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east by a ridge of
+mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impassable, by reason
+of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do the most learned know what
+sort of mortals inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be
+inhabited at all. On the three other sides, it is bounded by the ocean.
+There is not one seaport in the whole kingdom: and those parts of the
+coasts into which the rivers issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and
+the sea generally so rough, that there is no venturing with the
+smallest of their boats; so that these people are wholly excluded from
+any commerce with the rest of the world. But the large rivers are full
+of vessels, and abound with excellent fish; for they seldom get any
+from the sea, because the sea fish are of the same size with those in
+Europe, and consequently not worth catching; whereby it is manifest,
+that nature, in the production of plants and animals of so
+extraordinary a bulk, is wholly confined to this continent, of which I
+leave the reasons to be determined by philosophers. However, now and
+then they take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks,
+which the common people feed on heartily. These whales I have known so
+large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his shoulders; and
+sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in hampers to Lorbrulgrud; I
+saw one of them in a dish at the king’s table, which passed for a
+rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of it; for I think, indeed,
+the bigness disgusted him, although I have seen one somewhat larger in
+Greenland.
+
+The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near a
+hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy my
+curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This city
+stands upon almost two equal parts, on each side the river that passes
+through. It contains above eighty thousand houses, and about six
+hundred thousand inhabitants. It is in length three _glomglungs_ (which
+make about fifty-four English miles,) and two and a half in breadth; as
+I measured it myself in the royal map made by the king’s order, which
+was laid on the ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet:
+I paced the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and,
+computing by the scale, measured it pretty exactly.
+
+The king’s palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings, about
+seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two hundred and forty
+feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A coach was allowed to
+Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her governess frequently took her out to
+see the town, or go among the shops; and I was always of the party,
+carried in my box; although the girl, at my own desire, would often
+take me out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently
+view the houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I
+reckoned our coach to be about a square of Westminster-hall, but not
+altogether so high: however, I cannot be very exact. One day the
+governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where the
+beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of the coach,
+and gave me the most horrible spectacle that ever a European eye
+beheld. There was a woman with a cancer in her breast, swelled to a
+monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of which I could have
+easily crept, and covered my whole body. There was a fellow with a wen
+in his neck, larger than five wool-packs; and another, with a couple of
+wooden legs, each about twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight of
+all, was the lice crawling on their clothes. I could see distinctly the
+limbs of these vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of a
+European louse through a microscope, and their snouts with which they
+rooted like swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I should
+have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had had proper
+instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the ship, although,
+indeed, the sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly turned my stomach.
+
+Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen ordered
+a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet square, and ten
+high, for the convenience of travelling; because the other was somewhat
+too large for Glumdalclitch’s lap, and cumbersome in the coach; it was
+made by the same artist, whom I directed in the whole contrivance. This
+travelling-closet was an exact square, with a window in the middle of
+three of the squares, and each window was latticed with iron wire on
+the outside, to prevent accidents in long journeys. On the fourth side,
+which had no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which the
+person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put a
+leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always the
+office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide, whether I
+attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were disposed to
+see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or minister of state
+in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be out of order; for I
+soon began to be known and esteemed among the greatest officers, I
+suppose more upon account of their majesties’ favour, than any merit of
+my own. In journeys, when I was weary of the coach, a servant on
+horseback would buckle on my box, and place it upon a cushion before
+him; and there I had a full prospect of the country on three sides,
+from my three windows. I had, in this closet, a field-bed and a
+hammock, hung from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly screwed
+to the floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the
+horse or the coach. And having been long used to sea-voyages, those
+motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much discompose me.
+
+Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my
+travelling-closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of
+open sedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four men, and
+attended by two others in the queen’s livery. The people, who had often
+heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the sedan, and the girl
+was complaisant enough to make the bearers stop, and to take me in her
+hand, that I might be more conveniently seen.
+
+I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the tower
+belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom.
+Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I
+came back disappointed; for the height is not above three thousand
+feet, reckoning from the ground to the highest pinnacle top; which,
+allowing for the difference between the size of those people and us in
+Europe, is no great matter for admiration, nor at all equal in
+proportion (if I rightly remember) to Salisbury steeple. But, not to
+detract from a nation, to which, during my life, I shall acknowledge
+myself extremely obliged, it must be allowed, that whatever this famous
+tower wants in height, is amply made up in beauty and strength: for the
+walls are near a hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each
+is about forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues of
+gods and emperors, cut in marble, larger than the life, placed in their
+several niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from
+one of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and found
+it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped it up
+in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her pocket, to keep among
+other trinkets, of which the girl was very fond, as children at her age
+usually are.
+
+The king’s kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and
+about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten
+paces, as the cupola at St. Paul’s: for I measured the latter on
+purpose, after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen grate,
+the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on the
+spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly
+believed; at least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a
+little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which censure
+I fear I have run too much into the other extreme; and that if this
+treatise should happen to be translated into the language of
+Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that kingdom,) and
+transmitted thither, the king and his people would have reason to
+complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and diminutive
+representation.
+
+His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables: they
+are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But, when he goes
+abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military guard
+of five hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the most splendid
+sight that could be ever beheld, till I saw part of his army in
+battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak.
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+Several adventures that happened to the author. The execution of a
+criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.
+
+
+I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness had
+not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome accidents; some of
+which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into
+the gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes take me
+out of it, and hold me in her hand, or set me down to walk. I remember,
+before the dwarf left the queen, he followed us one day into those
+gardens, and my nurse having set me down, he and I being close
+together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a
+silly allusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in
+their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue,
+watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook
+it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as
+large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit
+me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my
+face; but I received no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my
+desire, because I had given the provocation.
+
+Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to divert
+myself, while she walked at some distance with her governess. In the
+meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I was
+immediately by the force of it, struck to the ground: and when I was
+down, the hailstones gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if
+I had been pelted with tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep
+on all fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the
+lee-side of a border of lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot,
+that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be
+wondered at, because nature, in that country, observing the same
+proportion through all her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen
+hundred times as large as one in Europe; which I can assert upon
+experience, having been so curious as to weigh and measure them.
+
+But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when
+my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place (which I
+often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts,) and
+having left my box at home, to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went
+to another part of the garden with her governess and some ladies of her
+acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white
+spaniel that belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by
+accident into the garden, happened to range near the place where I lay:
+the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his
+mouth, ran straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently
+on the ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was
+carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my
+clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a great
+kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me up in both
+his hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so amazed and out of
+breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few minutes I came to
+myself, and he carried me safe to my little nurse, who, by this time,
+had returned to the place where she left me, and was in cruel agonies
+when I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely
+reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was
+hushed up, and never known at court, for the girl was afraid of the
+queen’s anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for
+my reputation, that such a story should go about.
+
+This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me
+abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this
+resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky
+adventures, that happened in those times when I was left by myself.
+Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had
+not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a thick espalier, he
+would have certainly carried me away in his talons. Another time,
+walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell to my neck in the hole,
+through which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie,
+not worth remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I
+likewise broke my right shin against the shell of a snail, which I
+happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone and thinking on poor
+England.
+
+I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe, in
+those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at
+all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard’s distance, looking
+for worms and other food, with as much indifference and security as if
+no creature at all were near them. I remember, a thrush had the
+confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a piece of cake
+that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast. When I attempted
+to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me,
+endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their
+reach; and then they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or
+snails, as they did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and
+threw it with all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked
+him down, and seizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him
+in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned,
+recovering himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides
+of my head and body, though I held him at arm’s length, and was out of
+the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him go.
+But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung off the
+bird’s neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by the queen’s command.
+This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger
+than an English swan.
+
+The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments,
+and desired she would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the
+pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked
+from top to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosoms; wherewith I
+was much disgusted because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell
+came from their skins; which I do not mention, or intend, to the
+disadvantage of those excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of
+respect; but I conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to
+my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more
+disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the same
+quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural
+smell was much more supportable, than when they used perfumes, under
+which I immediately swooned away. I cannot forget, that an intimate
+friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom in a warm day, when I had
+used a good deal of exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me,
+although I am as little faulty that way, as most of my sex: but I
+suppose his faculty of smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine
+was to that of this people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing
+justice to the queen my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose
+persons were as sweet as those of any lady in England.
+
+That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour (when my
+nurse carried me to visit them) was, to see them use me without any
+manner of ceremony, like a creature who had no sort of consequence: for
+they would strip themselves to the skin, and put on their smocks in my
+presence, while I was placed on their toilet, directly before their
+naked bodies, which I am sure to me was very far from being a tempting
+sight, or from giving me any other emotions than those of horror and
+disgust: their skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously
+coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and there as broad as
+a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say
+nothing farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they
+at all scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to
+the quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above
+three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant,
+frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of
+her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me
+for not being over particular. But I was so much displeased, that I
+entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some excuse for not seeing that
+young lady any more.
+
+One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse’s governess,
+came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man, who
+had murdered one of that gentleman’s intimate acquaintance.
+Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the company, very much against
+her inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted: and, as for
+myself, although I abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity
+tempted me to see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The
+malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a scaffold erected for that
+purpose, and his head cut off at one blow, with a sword of about forty
+feet long. The veins and arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity
+of blood, and so high in the air, that the great _jet d’eau_ at
+Versailles was not equal to it for the time it lasted: and the head,
+when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me
+start, although I was at least half an English mile distant.
+
+The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages, and took
+all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I
+understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little
+exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my health? I answered,
+that I understood both very well: for although my proper employment had
+been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I
+was forced to work like a common mariner. But I could not see how this
+could be done in their country, where the smallest wherry was equal to
+a first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage
+would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would
+contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a
+place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my
+instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all its
+tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was
+finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap
+to the king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of water,
+with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my two sculls,
+or little oars, for want of room. But the queen had before contrived
+another project. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden trough of
+three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which, being well
+pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor, along the wall,
+in an outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let
+out the water, when it began to grow stale; and two servants could
+easily fill it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own
+diversion, as well as that of the queen and her ladies, who thought
+themselves well entertained with my skill and agility. Sometimes I
+would put up my sail, and then my business was only to steer, while the
+ladies gave me a gale with their fans; and, when they were weary, some
+of their pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I
+showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I
+had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into her closet,
+and hung it on a nail to dry.
+
+In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost me
+my life; for, one of the pages having put my boat into the trough, the
+governess who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up, to
+place me in the boat: but I happened to slip through her fingers, and
+should infallibly have fallen down forty feet upon the floor, if, by
+the luckiest chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a
+corking-pin that stuck in the good gentlewoman’s stomacher; the head of
+the pin passing between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and
+thus I was held by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my
+relief.
+
+Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my
+trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a
+huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay
+concealed till I was put into my boat, but then, seeing a
+resting-place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I
+was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to prevent
+overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped at once half the
+length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and forward,
+daubing my face and clothes with its odious slime. The largeness of its
+features made it appear the most deformed animal that can be conceived.
+However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged
+it a good while with one of my sculls, and at last forced it to leap
+out of the boat.
+
+But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was from a
+monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitch
+had locked me up in her closet, while she went somewhere upon business,
+or a visit. The weather being very warm, the closet-window was left
+open, as well as the windows and the door of my bigger box, in which I
+usually lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat
+quietly meditating at my table, I heard something bounce in at the
+closet-window, and skip about from one side to the other: whereat,
+although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not
+stirring from my seat; and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking
+and leaping up and down, till at last he came to my box, which he
+seemed to view with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the
+door and every window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room; or
+box; but the monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a fright,
+that I wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I
+might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping, grinning, and
+chattering, he at last espied me; and reaching one of his paws in at
+the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse, although I often
+shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the lappet of my coat
+(which being made of that country silk, was very thick and strong), and
+dragged me out. He took me up in his right fore-foot and held me as a
+nurse does a child she is going to suckle, just as I have seen the same
+sort of creature do with a kitten in Europe; and when I offered to
+struggle he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent to
+submit. I have good reason to believe, that he took me for a young one
+of his own species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his
+other paw. In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the
+closet door, as if somebody were opening it: whereupon he suddenly
+leaped up to the window at which he had come in, and thence upon the
+leads and gutters, walking upon three legs, and holding me in the
+fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to ours. I heard
+Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was carrying me out. The
+poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter of the palace was all in
+an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the monkey was seen by
+hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge of a building, holding me
+like a baby in one of his forepaws, and feeding me with the other, by
+cramming into my mouth some victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on
+one side of his chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat
+many of the rabble below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think
+they justly ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was
+ridiculous enough to every body but myself. Some of the people threw up
+stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was strictly
+forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been dashed out.
+
+The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men; which the
+monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not being
+able to make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge
+tile, and made his escape. Here I sat for some time, five hundred yards
+from the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind,
+or to fall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from
+the ridge to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse’s footmen,
+climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought me down
+safe.
+
+I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had crammed down
+my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with a
+small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which gave me great relief.
+Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me
+by this odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight.
+The king, queen, and all the court, sent every day to inquire after my
+health; and her majesty made me several visits during my sickness. The
+monkey was killed, and an order made, that no such animal should be
+kept about the palace.
+
+When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for
+his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this
+adventure. He asked me, “what my thoughts and speculations were, while
+I lay in the monkey’s paw; how I liked the victuals he gave me; his
+manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the roof had sharpened
+my stomach.” He desired to know, “what I would have done upon such an
+occasion in my own country.” I told his majesty, “that in Europe we had
+no monkeys, except such as were brought for curiosity from other
+places, and so small, that I could deal with a dozen of them together,
+if they presumed to attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with
+whom I was so lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant),
+if my fears had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my
+hanger,” (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I
+spoke) “when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have
+given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with
+more haste than he put it in.” This I delivered in a firm tone, like a
+person who was jealous lest his courage should be called in question.
+However, my speech produced nothing else beside a loud laughter, which
+all the respect due to his majesty from those about him could not make
+them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man
+to endeavour to do himself honour among those who are out of all degree
+of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my
+own behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a little
+contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or
+common sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put himself
+upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.
+
+I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story: and
+Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch enough to
+inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that she thought would
+be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was
+carried by her governess to take the air about an hour’s distance, or
+thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small
+foot-path in a field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box,
+I went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must
+need try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but
+unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle up to
+my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of the footmen
+wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was filthily
+bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box, till we returned home;
+where the queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the footmen
+spread it about the court: so that all the mirth for some days was at
+my expense.
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen. He
+shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of England,
+which the author relates to him. The king’s observations thereon.
+
+
+I used to attend the king’s levee once or twice a week, and had often
+seen him under the barber’s hand, which indeed was at first very
+terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an
+ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country,
+was only shaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me
+some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the
+strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it
+like the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal distances
+with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in
+the stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife
+toward the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a
+seasonable supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth, that it
+was almost useless: neither did I know any artist in that country so
+nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.
+
+And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of my
+leisure hours. I desired the queen’s woman to save for me the combings
+of her majesty’s hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity; and
+consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general
+orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two
+chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and to bore little
+holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I designed the backs and
+seats; through these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out,
+just after the manner of cane chairs in England. When they were
+finished, I made a present of them to her majesty; who kept them in her
+cabinet, and used to show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the
+wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon
+one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I
+would rather die than place a dishonourable part of my body on those
+precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty’s head. Of these hairs
+(as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made a neat little
+purse, about five feet long, with her majesty’s name deciphered in gold
+letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the queen’s consent. To say
+the truth, it was more for show than use, being not of strength to bear
+the weight of the larger coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it
+but some little toys that girls are fond of.
+
+The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, to
+which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to hear
+them: but the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the
+tunes. I am confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army,
+beating and sounding together just at your ears, could not equal it. My
+practice was to have my box removed from the place where the performers
+sat, as far as I could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and
+draw the window curtains; after which I found their music not
+disagreeable.
+
+I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.
+Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a
+week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat resembled
+that instrument, and was played upon in the same manner. A fancy came
+into my head, that I would entertain the king and queen with an English
+tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult: for
+the spinet was near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide,
+so that with my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and
+to press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which
+would be too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived
+was this: I prepared two round sticks, about the bigness of common
+cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the
+thicker ends with pieces of a mouse’s skin, that by rapping on them I
+might neither damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the sound.
+Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet below the keys,
+and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon it, that way and
+this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with my two sticks,
+and made a shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both their
+majesties; but it was the most violent exercise I ever underwent; and
+yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor consequently play the
+bass and treble together, as other artists do; which was a great
+disadvantage to my performance.
+
+The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent
+understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my
+box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then command me to
+bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit down within three yards
+distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a
+level with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with
+him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majesty, “that the contempt
+he discovered towards Europe, and the rest of the world, did not seem
+answerable to those excellent qualities of mind that he was master of;
+that reason did not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the
+contrary, we observed in our country, that the tallest persons were
+usually the least provided with it; that among other animals, bees and
+ants had the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many
+of the larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I
+hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service.” The king
+heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of
+me than he had ever before. He desired “I would give him as exact an
+account of the government of England as I possibly could; because, as
+fond as princes commonly are of their own customs (for so he
+conjectured of other monarchs, by my former discourses), he should be
+glad to hear of any thing that might deserve imitation.”
+
+Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the
+tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to
+celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style equal to
+its merits and felicity.
+
+I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions
+consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, under
+one sovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the
+fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our climate. I then spoke
+at large upon the constitution of an English parliament; partly made up
+of an illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of the
+noblest blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I
+described that extraordinary care always taken of their education in
+arts and arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king
+and kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the
+highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to be
+champions always ready for the defence of their prince and country, by
+their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and
+bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned
+ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which
+their posterity were never once known to degenerate. To these were
+joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the title
+of bishops, whose peculiar business is to take care of religion, and of
+those who instruct the people therein. These were searched and sought
+out through the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors,
+among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by
+the sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition; who were
+indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.
+
+That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly called
+the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked
+and culled out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and
+love of their country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And
+that these two bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe; to
+whom, in conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is
+committed.
+
+I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges, those
+venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determining
+the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the
+punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent
+management of our treasury; the valour and achievements of our forces,
+by sea and land. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how
+many millions there might be of each religious sect, or political party
+among us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other
+particular which I thought might redound to the honour of my country.
+And I finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and
+events in England for about a hundred years past.
+
+This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several
+hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, frequently
+taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what questions
+he intended to ask me.
+
+When I had put an end to these long discourses, his majesty, in a sixth
+audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries, and
+objections, upon every article. He asked, “What methods were used to
+cultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind
+of business they commonly spent the first and teachable parts of their
+lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when any noble
+family became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in those who
+are to be created new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of
+money to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to
+the public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those
+advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws of
+their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide
+the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last resort? Whether
+they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or want, that a
+bribe, or some other sinister view, could have no place among them?
+Whether those holy lords I spoke of were always promoted to that rank
+upon account of their knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity
+of their lives; had never been compliers with the times, while they
+were common priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman,
+whose opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were
+admitted into that assembly?”
+
+He then desired to know, “What arts were practised in electing those
+whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong purse, might
+not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before their own
+landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood? How
+it came to pass, that people were so violently bent upon getting into
+this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often
+to the ruin of their families, without any salary or pension? because
+this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that
+his majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere.”
+And he desired to know, “Whether such zealous gentlemen could have any
+views of refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were at
+by sacrificing the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious
+prince, in conjunction with a corrupted ministry?” He multiplied his
+questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head,
+proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it not
+prudent or convenient to repeat.
+
+Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty
+desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better
+able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in
+chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, “What time was
+usually spent in determining between right and wrong, and what degree
+of expense? Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead in
+causes manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether
+party, in religion or politics, were observed to be of any weight in
+the scale of justice? Whether those pleading orators were persons
+educated in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial,
+national, and other local customs? Whether they or their judges had any
+part in penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of
+interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they had
+ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and
+cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether they were a rich
+or a poor corporation? Whether they received any pecuniary reward for
+pleading, or delivering their opinions? And particularly, whether they
+were ever admitted as members in the lower senate?”
+
+He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, “he thought
+my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about five or
+six millions a year, and when I came to mention the issues, he found
+they sometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had taken
+were very particular in this point, because he hoped, as he told me,
+that the knowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could
+not be deceived in his calculations. But, if what I told him were true,
+he was still at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like
+a private person.” He asked me, “who were our creditors; and where we
+found money to pay them?” He wondered to hear me talk of such
+chargeable and expensive wars; “that certainly we must be a quarrelsome
+people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that our generals must
+needs be richer than our kings.” He asked, what business we had out of
+our own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or treaty, or to
+defend the coasts with our fleet?” Above all, he was amazed to hear me
+talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace, and among a
+free people. He said, “if we were governed by our own consent, in the
+persons of our representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were
+afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion,
+whether a private man’s house might not be better defended by himself,
+his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals, picked up at a
+venture in the streets for small wages, who might get a hundred times
+more by cutting their throats?”
+
+He laughed at my “odd kind of arithmetic,” as he was pleased to call
+it, “in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation drawn
+from the several sects among us, in religion and politics.” He said,
+“he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions prejudicial to the
+public, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to
+conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the
+first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be
+allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for
+cordials.”
+
+He observed, “that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, I
+had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this entertainment
+was usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their time
+it employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes;
+whether mean, vicious people, by their dexterity in that art, might not
+arrive at great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in
+dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions, wholly take
+them from the improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses
+they received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon
+others?”
+
+He was perfectly astonished with the historical account I gave him of
+our affairs during the last century; protesting “it was only a heap of
+conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments,
+the very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy,
+perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, and
+ambition, could produce.”
+
+His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate the
+sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with the
+answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and stroking me
+gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall never forget,
+nor the manner he spoke them in: “My little friend Grildrig, you have
+made a most admirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly
+proved, that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients
+for qualifying a legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted,
+and applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting,
+confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an
+institution, which, in its original, might have been tolerable, but
+these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by
+corruptions. It does not appear, from all you have said, how any one
+perfection is required toward the procurement of any one station among
+you; much less, that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that
+priests are advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their
+conduct or valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love
+of their country; or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself,”
+continued the king, “who have spent the greatest part of your life in
+travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped
+many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered from your own
+relation, and the answers I have with much pains wrung and extorted
+from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most
+pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to
+crawl upon the surface of the earth.”
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+The author’s love of his country. He makes a proposal of much advantage
+to the king, which is rejected. The king’s great ignorance in politics.
+The learning of that country very imperfect and confined. The laws, and
+military affairs, and parties in the state.
+
+
+Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me from
+concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover my
+resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I was forced
+to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved country was so
+injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of my readers can
+possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but this prince happened
+to be so curious and inquisitive upon every particular, that it could
+not consist either with gratitude or good manners, to refuse giving him
+what satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in
+my own vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his questions, and
+gave to every point a more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the
+strictness of truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable
+partiality to my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so
+much justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties
+and deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and
+beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere endeavour
+in those many discourses I had with that monarch, although it
+unfortunately failed of success.
+
+But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly
+secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be altogether
+unacquainted with the manners and customs that most prevail in other
+nations: the want of which knowledge will ever produce many prejudices,
+and a certain narrowness of thinking, from which we, and the politer
+countries of Europe, are wholly exempted. And it would be hard indeed,
+if so remote a prince’s notions of virtue and vice were to be offered
+as a standard for all mankind.
+
+To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the miserable
+effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a passage, which
+will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate myself further into
+his majesty’s favour, I told him of “an invention, discovered between
+three and four hundred years ago, to make a certain powder, into a heap
+of which, the smallest spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in
+a moment, although it were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up
+in the air together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder.
+That a proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of
+brass or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or
+lead, with such violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its
+force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only destroy
+whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest walls to the
+ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in each, to the bottom of
+the sea, and when linked together by a chain, would cut through masts
+and rigging, divide hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste
+before them. That we often put this powder into large hollow balls of
+iron, and discharged them by an engine into some city we were
+besieging, which would rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces,
+burst and throw splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all
+who came near. That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap
+and common; I understood the manner of compounding them, and could
+direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size proportionable to
+all other things in his majesty’s kingdom, and the largest need not be
+above a hundred feet long; twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged
+with the proper quantity of powder and balls, would batter down the
+walls of the strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or destroy
+the whole metropolis, if ever it should pretend to dispute his absolute
+commands.” This I humbly offered to his majesty, as a small tribute of
+acknowledgment, in turn for so many marks that I had received, of his
+royal favour and protection.
+
+The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of those
+terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. “He was amazed, how so
+impotent and grovelling an insect as I” (these were his expressions)
+“could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a manner, as to
+appear wholly unmoved at all the scenes of blood and desolation which I
+had painted as the common effects of those destructive machines;
+whereof,” he said, “some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been
+the first contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although few
+things delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature,
+yet he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such a
+secret; which he commanded me, as I valued any life, never to mention
+any more.”
+
+A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince
+possessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and esteem;
+of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning, endowed with
+admirable talents, and almost adored by his subjects, should, from a
+nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in Europe we can have no conception,
+let slip an opportunity put into his hands that would have made him
+absolute master of the lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of his
+people! Neither do I say this, with the least intention to detract from
+the many virtues of that excellent king, whose character, I am
+sensible, will, on this account, be very much lessened in the opinion
+of an English reader: but I take this defect among them to have risen
+from their ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a
+science, as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For, I remember
+very well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to
+say, “there were several thousand books among us written upon the art
+of government,” it gave him (directly contrary to my intention) a very
+mean opinion of our understandings. He professed both to abominate and
+despise all mystery, refinement, and intrigue, either in a prince or a
+minister. He could not tell what I meant by secrets of state, where an
+enemy, or some rival nation, were not in the case. He confined the
+knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds, to common sense and
+reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of civil and
+criminal causes; with some other obvious topics, which are not worth
+considering. And he gave it for his opinion, “that whoever could make
+two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground
+where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do
+more essential service to his country, than the whole race of
+politicians put together.”
+
+The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in
+morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be
+allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what may
+be useful in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all
+mechanical arts; so that among us, it would be little esteemed. And as
+to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could never
+drive the least conception into their heads.
+
+No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters in
+their alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But indeed few
+of them extend even to that length. They are expressed in the most
+plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not mercurial enough
+to discover above one interpretation: and to write a comment upon any
+law, is a capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or
+proceedings against criminals, their precedents are so few, that they
+have little reason to boast of any extraordinary skill in either.
+
+They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out of
+mind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of the king,
+which is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a thousand
+volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet long, whence I had
+liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The queen’s joiner had
+contrived in one of Glumdalclitch’s rooms, a kind of wooden machine
+five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a standing ladder; the steps
+were each fifty feet long. It was indeed a moveable pair of stairs, the
+lowest end placed at ten feet distance from the wall of the chamber.
+The book I had a mind to read, was put up leaning against the wall: I
+first mounted to the upper step of the ladder, and turning my face
+towards the book, began at the top of the page, and so walking to the
+right and left about eight or ten paces, according to the length of the
+lines, till I had gotten a little below the level of my eyes, and then
+descending gradually till I came to the bottom: after which I mounted
+again, and began the other page in the same manner, and so turned over
+the leaf, which I could easily do with both my hands, for it was as
+thick and stiff as a pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above
+eighteen or twenty feet long.
+
+Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for they
+avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using various
+expressions. I have perused many of their books, especially those in
+history and morality. Among the rest, I was much diverted with a little
+old treatise, which always lay in Glumdalclitch’s bed chamber, and
+belonged to her governess, a grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in
+writings of morality and devotion. The book treats of the weakness of
+humankind, and is in little esteem, except among the women and the
+vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an author of that country
+could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the usual
+topics of European moralists, showing “how diminutive, contemptible,
+and helpless an animal was man in his own nature; how unable to defend
+himself from inclemencies of the air, or the fury of wild beasts: how
+much he was excelled by one creature in strength, by another in speed,
+by a third in foresight, by a fourth in industry.” He added, “that
+nature was degenerated in these latter declining ages of the world, and
+could now produce only small abortive births, in comparison of those in
+ancient times.” He said “it was very reasonable to think, not only that
+the species of men were originally much larger, but also that there
+must have been giants in former ages; which, as it is asserted by
+history and tradition, so it has been confirmed by huge bones and
+skulls, casually dug up in several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding
+the common dwindled race of men in our days.” He argued, “that the very
+laws of nature absolutely required we should have been made, in the
+beginning of a size more large and robust; not so liable to destruction
+from every little accident, of a tile falling from a house, or a stone
+cast from the hand of a boy, or being drowned in a little brook.” From
+this way of reasoning, the author drew several moral applications,
+useful in the conduct of life, but needless here to repeat. For my own
+part, I could not avoid reflecting how universally this talent was
+spread, of drawing lectures in morality, or indeed rather matter of
+discontent and repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I
+believe, upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as
+ill-grounded among us as they are among that people.
+
+As to their military affairs, they boast that the king’s army consists
+of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two thousand
+horse: if that may be called an army, which is made up of tradesmen in
+the several cities, and farmers in the country, whose commanders are
+only the nobility and gentry, without pay or reward. They are indeed
+perfect enough in their exercises, and under very good discipline,
+wherein I saw no great merit; for how should it be otherwise, where
+every farmer is under the command of his own landlord, and every
+citizen under that of the principal men in his own city, chosen after
+the manner of Venice, by ballot?
+
+I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise, in
+a great field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in all
+not above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse; but it was
+impossible for me to compute their number, considering the space of
+ground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large steed, might be
+about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon a
+word of command, draw their swords at once, and brandish them in the
+air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so
+astonishing! It looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning were
+darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.
+
+I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there is no
+access from any other country, came to think of armies, or to teach his
+people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon informed,
+both by conversation and reading their histories; for, in the course of
+many ages, they have been troubled with the same disease to which the
+whole race of mankind is subject; the nobility often contending for
+power, the people for liberty, and the king for absolute dominion. All
+which, however happily tempered by the laws of that kingdom, have been
+sometimes violated by each of the three parties, and have more than
+once occasioned civil wars; the last whereof was happily put an end to
+by this prince’s grandfather, in a general composition; and the
+militia, then settled with common consent, has been ever since kept in
+the strictest duty.
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author attends
+them. The manner in which he leaves the country very particularly
+related. He returns to England.
+
+
+I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my
+liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or to
+form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in which I
+sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within sight of that
+coast, and the king had given strict orders, that if at any time
+another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its crew and
+passengers brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent to
+get me a woman of my own size, by whom I might propagate the breed: but
+I think I should rather have died than undergone the disgrace of
+leaving a posterity to be kept in cages, like tame canary-birds, and
+perhaps, in time, sold about the kingdom, to persons of quality, for
+curiosities. I was indeed treated with much kindness: I was the
+favourite of a great king and queen, and the delight of the whole
+court; but it was upon such a foot as ill became the dignity of
+humankind. I could never forget those domestic pledges I had left
+behind me. I wanted to be among people, with whom I could converse upon
+even terms, and walk about the streets and fields without being afraid
+of being trod to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance
+came sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very common; the whole
+story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate.
+
+I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning of
+the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in a
+progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual, in
+my travelling-box, which as I have already described, was a very
+convenient closet, of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a hammock to
+be fixed, by silken ropes from the four corners at the top, to break
+the jolts, when a servant carried me before him on horseback, as I
+sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my hammock, while we were
+upon the road. On the roof of my closet, not directly over the middle
+of the hammock, I ordered the joiner to cut out a hole of a foot
+square, to give me air in hot weather, as I slept; which hole I shut at
+pleasure with a board that drew backward and forward through a groove.
+
+When we came to our journey’s end, the king thought proper to pass a
+few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within eighteen
+English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued: I
+had gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be confined
+to her chamber. I longed to see the ocean, which must be the only scene
+of my escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I
+really was, and desired leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a
+page, whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with
+me. I shall never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch
+consented, nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me,
+bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some
+forboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in my box, about
+half an hour’s walk from the palace, towards the rocks on the
+sea-shore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my
+sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I found
+myself not very well, and told the page that I had a mind to take a nap
+in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got in, and the boy
+shut the window close down, to keep out the cold. I soon fell asleep,
+and all I can conjecture is, while I slept, the page, thinking no
+danger could happen, went among the rocks to look for birds’ eggs,
+having before observed him from my window searching about, and picking
+up one or two in the clefts. Be that as it will, I found myself
+suddenly awaked with a violent pull upon the ring, which was fastened
+at the top of my box for the conveniency of carriage. I felt my box
+raised very high in the air, and then borne forward with prodigious
+speed. The first jolt had like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but
+afterward the motion was easy enough. I called out several times, as
+loud as I could raise my voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards
+my windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a
+noise just over my head, like the clapping of wings, and then began to
+perceive the woful condition I was in; that some eagle had got the ring
+of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall on a rock, like a
+tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body, and devour it: for the
+sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to discover his quarry at a
+great distance, though better concealed than I could be within a
+two-inch board.
+
+In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to increase
+very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a sign in a windy
+day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought given to the eagle
+(for such I am certain it must have been that held the ring of my box
+in his beak), and then, all on a sudden, felt myself falling
+perpendicularly down, for above a minute, but with such incredible
+swiftness, that I almost lost my breath. My fall was stopped by a
+terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears than the cataract of
+Niagara; after which, I was quite in the dark for another minute, and
+then my box began to rise so high, that I could see light from the tops
+of the windows. I now perceived I was fallen into the sea. My box, by
+the weight of my body, the goods that were in, and the broad plates of
+iron fixed for strength at the four corners of the top and bottom,
+floated about five feet deep in water. I did then, and do now suppose,
+that the eagle which flew away with my box was pursued by two or three
+others, and forced to let me drop, while he defended himself against
+the rest, who hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened
+at the bottom of the box (for those were the strongest) preserved the
+balance while it fell, and hindered it from being broken on the surface
+of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and the door did not
+move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which kept my closet so
+tight that very little water came in. I got with much difficulty out of
+my hammock, having first ventured to draw back the slip-board on the
+roof already mentioned, contrived on purpose to let in air, for want of
+which I found myself almost stifled.
+
+How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from whom
+one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say with truth, that
+in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my
+poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure of
+the queen, and the ruin of her fortune. Perhaps many travellers have
+not been under greater difficulties and distress than I was at this
+juncture, expecting every moment to see my box dashed to pieces, or at
+least overset by the first violent blast, or rising wave. A breach in
+one single pane of glass would have been immediate death: nor could any
+thing have preserved the windows, but the strong lattice wires placed
+on the outside, against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze
+in at several crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and I
+endeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift up
+the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have done,
+and sat on the top of it; where I might at least preserve myself some
+hours longer, than by being shut up (as I may call it) in the hold. Or
+if I escaped these dangers for a day or two, what could I expect but a
+miserable death of cold and hunger? I was four hours under these
+circumstances, expecting, and indeed wishing, every moment to be my
+last.
+
+I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples fixed
+upon that side of my box which had no window, and into which the
+servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put a leathern belt,
+and buckle it about his waist. Being in this disconsolate state, I
+heard, or at least thought I heard, some kind of grating noise on that
+side of my box where the staples were fixed; and soon after I began to
+fancy that the box was pulled or towed along the sea; for I now and
+then felt a sort of tugging, which made the waves rise near the tops of
+my windows, leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint
+hopes of relief, although I was not able to imagine how it could be
+brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were
+always fastened to the floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it
+down again, directly under the slipping-board that I had lately opened,
+I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as near as I could to the
+hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all the languages I
+understood. I then fastened my handkerchief to a stick I usually
+carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several times in the
+air, that if any boat or ship were near, the seamen might conjecture
+some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box.
+
+I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my closet
+to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better, that side of
+the box where the staples were, and had no windows, struck against
+something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a rock, and found
+myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a noise upon the cover of
+my closet, like that of a cable, and the grating of it as it passed
+through the ring. I then found myself hoisted up, by degrees, at least
+three feet higher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust up my
+stick and handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost hoarse. In
+return to which, I heard a great shout repeated three times, giving me
+such transports of joy as are not to be conceived but by those who feel
+them. I now heard a trampling over my head, and somebody calling
+through the hole with a loud voice, in the English tongue, “If there be
+any body below, let them speak.” I answered, “I was an Englishman,
+drawn by ill fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature
+underwent, and begged, by all that was moving, to be delivered out of
+the dungeon I was in.” The voice replied, “I was safe, for my box was
+fastened to their ship; and the carpenter should immediately come and
+saw a hole in the cover, large enough to pull me out.” I answered,
+“that was needless, and would take up too much time; for there was no
+more to be done, but let one of the crew put his finger into the ring,
+and take the box out of the sea into the ship, and so into the
+captain’s cabin.” Some of them, upon hearing me talk so wildly, thought
+I was mad: others laughed; for indeed it never came into my head, that
+I was now got among people of my own stature and strength. The
+carpenter came, and in a few minutes sawed a passage about four feet
+square, then let down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence
+was taken into the ship in a very weak condition.
+
+The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand questions,
+which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at the
+sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them to be, after having so
+long accustomed my eyes to the monstrous objects I had left. But the
+captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an honest worthy Shropshire man,
+observing I was ready to faint, took me into his cabin, gave me a
+cordial to comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own bed, advising
+me to take a little rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to
+sleep, I gave him to understand that I had some valuable furniture in
+my box, too good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two
+chairs, a table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides,
+or rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of
+the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there before
+him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing me utter these
+absurdities, concluded I was raving; however (I suppose to pacify me)
+he promised to give order as I desired, and going upon deck, sent some
+of his men down into my closet, whence (as I afterwards found) they
+drew up all my goods, and stripped off the quilting; but the chairs,
+cabinet, and bedstead, being screwed to the floor, were much damaged by
+the ignorance of the seamen, who tore them up by force. Then they
+knocked off some of the boards for the use of the ship, and when they
+had got all they had a mind for, let the hull drop into the sea, which
+by reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to
+rights. And, indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator of the
+havoc they made, because I am confident it would have sensibly touched
+me, by bringing former passages into my mind, which I would rather have
+forgot.
+
+I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the place
+I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking, I
+found myself much recovered. It was now about eight o’clock at night,
+and the captain ordered supper immediately, thinking I had already
+fasted too long. He entertained me with great kindness, observing me
+not to look wildly, or talk inconsistently: and, when we were left
+alone, desired I would give him a relation of my travels, and by what
+accident I came to be set adrift, in that monstrous wooden chest. He
+said “that about twelve o’clock at noon, as he was looking through his
+glass, he spied it at a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he
+had a mind to make, being not much out of his course, in hopes of
+buying some biscuit, his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming
+nearer, and finding his error, he sent out his long-boat to discover
+what it was; that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen
+a swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went himself in
+the boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable along with them. That
+the weather being calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my
+windows and wire lattices that defended them. That he discovered two
+staples upon one side, which was all of boards, without any passage for
+light. He then commanded his men to row up to that side, and fastening
+a cable to one of the staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as they
+called it, toward the ship. When it was there, he gave directions to
+fasten another cable to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my
+chest with pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above two
+or three feet.” He said, “they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust out
+of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be shut up in the
+cavity.” I asked, “whether he or the crew had seen any prodigious birds
+in the air, about the time he first discovered me.” To which he
+answered, “that discoursing this matter with the sailors while I was
+asleep, one of them said, he had observed three eagles flying towards
+the north, but remarked nothing of their being larger than the usual
+size:” which I suppose must be imputed to the great height they were
+at; and he could not guess the reason of my question. I then asked the
+captain, “how far he reckoned we might be from land?” He said, “by the
+best computation he could make, we were at least a hundred leagues.” I
+assured him, “that he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had not
+left the country whence I came above two hours before I dropped into
+the sea.” Whereupon he began again to think that my brain was
+disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me to go to bed in a
+cabin he had provided. I assured him, “I was well refreshed with his
+good entertainment and company, and as much in my senses as ever I was
+in my life.” He then grew serious, and desired to ask me freely,
+“whether I were not troubled in my mind by the consciousness of some
+enormous crime, for which I was punished, at the command of some
+prince, by exposing me in that chest; as great criminals, in other
+countries, have been forced to sea in a leaky vessel, without
+provisions: for although he should be sorry to have taken so ill a man
+into his ship, yet he would engage his word to set me safe ashore, in
+the first port where we arrived.” He added, “that his suspicions were
+much increased by some very absurd speeches I had delivered at first to
+his sailors, and afterwards to himself, in relation to my closet or
+chest, as well as by my odd looks and behaviour while I was at supper.”
+
+I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully did,
+from the last time I left England, to the moment he first discovered
+me. And, as truth always forces its way into rational minds, so this
+honest worthy gentleman, who had some tincture of learning, and very
+good sense, was immediately convinced of my candour and veracity. But
+further to confirm all I had said, I entreated him to give order that
+my cabinet should be brought, of which I had the key in my pocket; for
+he had already informed me how the seamen disposed of my closet. I
+opened it in his own presence, and showed him the small collection of
+rarities I made in the country from which I had been so strangely
+delivered. There was the comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the
+king’s beard, and another of the same materials, but fixed into a
+paring of her majesty’s thumb-nail, which served for the back. There
+was a collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half a yard long;
+four wasp stings, like joiner’s tacks; some combings of the queen’s
+hair; a gold ring, which one day she made me a present of, in a most
+obliging manner, taking it from her little finger, and throwing it over
+my head like a collar. I desired the captain would please to accept
+this ring in return for his civilities; which he absolutely refused. I
+showed him a corn that I had cut off with my own hand, from a maid of
+honour’s toe; it was about the bigness of Kentish pippin, and grown so
+hard, that when I returned to England, I got it hollowed into a cup,
+and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him to see the breeches I had then
+on, which were made of a mouse’s skin.
+
+I could force nothing on him but a footman’s tooth, which I observed
+him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it.
+He received it with abundance of thanks, more than such a trifle could
+deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon, in a mistake, from one
+of Glumdalclitch’s men, who was afflicted with the tooth-ache, but it
+was as sound as any in his head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my
+cabinet. It was about a foot long, and four inches in diameter.
+
+The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had
+given him, and said, “he hoped, when we returned to England, I would
+oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it public.” My
+answer was, “that we were overstocked with books of travels: that
+nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted
+some authors less consulted truth, than their own vanity, or interest,
+or the diversion of ignorant readers; that my story could contain
+little beside common events, without those ornamental descriptions of
+strange plants, trees, birds, and other animals; or of the barbarous
+customs and idolatry of savage people, with which most writers abound.
+However, I thanked him for his good opinion, and promised to take the
+matter into my thoughts.”
+
+He said “he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear me
+speak so loud;” asking me “whether the king or queen of that country
+were thick of hearing?” I told him, “it was what I had been used to for
+above two years past, and that I admired as much at the voices of him
+and his men, who seemed to me only to whisper, and yet I could hear
+them well enough. But, when I spoke in that country, it was like a man
+talking in the streets, to another looking out from the top of a
+steeple, unless when I was placed on a table, or held in any person’s
+hand.” I told him, “I had likewise observed another thing, that, when I
+first got into the ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought
+they were the most little contemptible creatures I had ever beheld.”
+For indeed, while I was in that prince’s country, I could never endure
+to look in a glass, after my eyes had been accustomed to such
+prodigious objects, because the comparison gave me so despicable a
+conceit of myself. The captain said, “that while we were at supper, he
+observed me to look at every thing with a sort of wonder, and that I
+often seemed hardly able to contain my laughter, which he knew not well
+how to take, but imputed it to some disorder in my brain.” I answered,
+“it was very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his
+dishes of the size of a silver three-pence, a leg of pork hardly a
+mouthful, a cup not so big as a nut-shell;” and so I went on,
+describing the rest of his household-stuff and provisions, after the
+same manner. For, although the queen had ordered a little equipage of
+all things necessary for me, while I was in her service, yet my ideas
+were wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me, and I winked
+at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults. The captain
+understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied with the old
+English proverb, “that he doubted my eyes were bigger than my belly,
+for he did not observe my stomach so good, although I had fasted all
+day;” and, continuing in his mirth, protested “he would have gladly
+given a hundred pounds, to have seen my closet in the eagle’s bill, and
+afterwards in its fall from so great a height into the sea; which would
+certainly have been a most astonishing object, worthy to have the
+description of it transmitted to future ages:” and the comparison of
+Phaeton was so obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although
+I did not much admire the conceit.
+
+The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England,
+driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and longitude of
+143. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board him, we
+sailed southward a long time, and coasting New Holland, kept our course
+west-south-west, and then south-south-west, till we doubled the Cape of
+Good Hope. Our voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the
+reader with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or two ports,
+and sent in his long-boat for provisions and fresh water; but I never
+went out of the ship till we came into the Downs, which was on the
+third day of June, 1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered
+to leave my goods in security for payment of my freight: but the
+captain protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a kind
+leave of each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me at
+my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings,
+which I borrowed of the captain.
+
+As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the
+trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput.
+I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called
+aloud to have them stand out of the way, so that I had like to have
+gotten one or two broken heads for my impertinence.
+
+When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire, one of
+the servants opening the door, I bent down to go in, (like a goose
+under a gate,) for fear of striking my head. My wife ran out to embrace
+me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she could otherwise
+never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter kneeled to ask my
+blessing, but I could not see her till she arose, having been so long
+used to stand with my head and eyes erect to above sixty feet; and then
+I went to take her up with one hand by the waist. I looked down upon
+the servants, and one or two friends who were in the house, as if they
+had been pigmies and I a giant. I told my wife, “she had been too
+thrifty, for I found she had starved herself and her daughter to
+nothing.” In short, I behaved myself so unaccountably, that they were
+all of the captain’s opinion when he first saw me, and concluded I had
+lost my wits. This I mention as an instance of the great power of habit
+and prejudice.
+
+In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right
+understanding: but my wife protested “I should never go to sea any
+more;” although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not power to
+hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the mean time, I here
+conclude the second part of my unfortunate voyages.
+
+
+PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, GLUBBDUBDRIB, LUGGNAGG AND
+JAPAN.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates. The
+malice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is received into
+Laputa.
+
+
+I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William Robinson, a
+Cornish man, commander of the Hopewell, a stout ship of three hundred
+tons, came to my house. I had formerly been surgeon of another ship
+where he was master, and a fourth part owner, in a voyage to the
+Levant. He had always treated me more like a brother, than an inferior
+officer; and, hearing of my arrival, made me a visit, as I apprehended
+only out of friendship, for nothing passed more than what is usual
+after long absences. But repeating his visits often, expressing his joy
+to find me in good health, asking, “whether I were now settled for
+life?” adding, “that he intended a voyage to the East Indies in two
+months,” at last he plainly invited me, though with some apologies, to
+be surgeon of the ship; “that I should have another surgeon under me,
+beside our two mates; that my salary should be double to the usual pay;
+and that having experienced my knowledge in sea-affairs to be at least
+equal to his, he would enter into any engagement to follow my advice,
+as much as if I had shared in the command.”
+
+He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so honest a
+man, that I could not reject this proposal; the thirst I had of seeing
+the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes, continuing as violent
+as ever. The only difficulty that remained, was to persuade my wife,
+whose consent however I at last obtained, by the prospect of advantage
+she proposed to her children.
+
+We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. George
+the 11th of April, 1707. We staid there three weeks to refresh our
+crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where the
+captain resolved to continue some time, because many of the goods he
+intended to buy were not ready, nor could he expect to be dispatched in
+several months. Therefore, in hopes to defray some of the charges he
+must be at, he bought a sloop, loaded it with several sorts of goods,
+wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring islands, and
+putting fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, he
+appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic, while
+he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.
+
+We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising, we were
+driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the east: after
+which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong gale from the
+west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two pirates, who soon
+overtook us; for my sloop was so deep laden, that she sailed very slow,
+neither were we in a condition to defend ourselves.
+
+We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who entered
+furiously at the head of their men; but finding us all prostrate upon
+our faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us with strong ropes,
+and setting guard upon us, went to search the sloop.
+
+I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some authority,
+though he was not commander of either ship. He knew us by our
+countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in his own language,
+swore we should be tied back to back and thrown into the sea. I spoke
+Dutch tolerably well; I told him who we were, and begged him, in
+consideration of our being Christians and Protestants, of neighbouring
+countries in strict alliance, that he would move the captains to take
+some pity on us. This inflamed his rage; he repeated his threatenings,
+and turning to his companions, spoke with great vehemence in the
+Japanese language, as I suppose, often using the word _Christianos_.
+
+The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese
+captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to
+me, and after several questions, which I answered in great humility, he
+said, “we should not die.” I made the captain a very low bow, and then,
+turning to the Dutchman, said, “I was sorry to find more mercy in a
+heathen, than in a brother christian.” But I had soon reason to repent
+those foolish words: for that malicious reprobate, having often
+endeavoured in vain to persuade both the captains that I might be
+thrown into the sea (which they would not yield to, after the promise
+made me that I should not die), however, prevailed so far, as to have a
+punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than death
+itself. My men were sent by an equal division into both the pirate
+ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was determined that I
+should be set adrift in a small canoe, with paddles and a sail, and
+four days’ provisions; which last, the Japanese captain was so kind to
+double out of his own stores, and would permit no man to search me. I
+got down into the canoe, while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck,
+loaded me with all the curses and injurious terms his language could
+afford.
+
+About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an observation, and
+found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and longitude of 183. When I was
+at some distance from the pirates, I discovered, by my pocket-glass,
+several islands to the south-east. I set up my sail, the wind being
+fair, with a design to reach the nearest of those islands, which I made
+a shift to do, in about three hours. It was all rocky: however I got
+many birds’ eggs; and, striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry
+sea-weed, by which I roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, being
+resolved to spare my provisions as much as I could. I passed the night
+under the shelter of a rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept
+pretty well.
+
+The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and
+fourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles. But, not to
+trouble the reader with a particular account of my distresses, let it
+suffice, that on the fifth day I arrived at the last island in my
+sight, which lay south-south-east to the former.
+
+This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not
+reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round, before
+I could find a convenient place to land in; which was a small creek,
+about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found the island to be
+all rocky, only a little intermingled with tufts of grass, and
+sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small provisions and after having
+refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a cave, whereof there were
+great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs upon the rocks, and got a
+quantity of dry sea-weed, and parched grass, which I designed to kindle
+the next day, and roast my eggs as well as I could, for I had about me
+my flint, steel, match, and burning-glass. I lay all night in the cave
+where I had lodged my provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and
+sea-weed which I intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the
+disquiets of my mind prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I
+considered how impossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a
+place, and how miserable my end must be: yet found myself so listless
+and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could
+get spirits enough to creep out of my cave, the day was far advanced. I
+walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly clear, and the sun
+so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it: when all on a sudden
+it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner very different from what
+happens by the interposition of a cloud. I turned back, and perceived a
+vast opaque body between me and the sun moving forwards towards the
+island: it seemed to be about two miles high, and hid the sun six or
+seven minutes; but I did not observe the air to be much colder, or the
+sky more darkened, than if I had stood under the shade of a mountain.
+As it approached nearer over the place where I was, it appeared to be a
+firm substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from
+the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a height about two
+hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body descending almost
+to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile distance. I took
+out my pocket perspective, and could plainly discover numbers of people
+moving up and down the sides of it, which appeared to be sloping; but
+what those people were doing I was not able to distinguish.
+
+The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I was
+ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way or other,
+help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition I was in. But
+at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my astonishment, to
+behold an island in the air, inhabited by men, who were able (as it
+should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into progressive motion, as
+they pleased. But not being at that time in a disposition to
+philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose to observe what
+course the island would take, because it seemed for a while to stand
+still. Yet soon after, it advanced nearer, and I could see the sides of
+it encompassed with several gradations of galleries, and stairs, at
+certain intervals, to descend from one to the other. In the lowest
+gallery, I beheld some people fishing with long angling rods, and
+others looking on. I waved my cap (for my hat was long since worn out)
+and my handkerchief toward the island; and upon its nearer approach, I
+called and shouted with the utmost strength of my voice; and then
+looking circumspectly, I beheld a crowd gather to that side which was
+most in my view. I found by their pointing towards me and to each
+other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made no return to
+my shouting. But I could see four or five men running in great haste,
+up the stairs, to the top of the island, who then disappeared. I
+happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for orders to some
+person in authority upon this occasion.
+
+The number of people increased, and, in less than half an hour, the
+island was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest gallery
+appeared in a parallel of less than a hundred yards distance from the
+height where I stood. I then put myself in the most supplicating
+posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but received no answer.
+Those who stood nearest over against me, seemed to be persons of
+distinction, as I supposed by their habit. They conferred earnestly
+with each other, looking often upon me. At length one of them called
+out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect, not unlike in sound to the
+Italian: and therefore I returned an answer in that language, hoping at
+least that the cadence might be more agreeable to his ears. Although
+neither of us understood the other, yet my meaning was easily known,
+for the people saw the distress I was in.
+
+They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go towards the
+shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island being raised to a
+convenient height, the verge directly over me, a chain was let down
+from the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to the bottom, to which I
+fixed myself, and was drawn up by pulleys.
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An account of
+their learning. Of the king and his court. The author’s reception
+there. The inhabitants subject to fear and disquietudes. An account of
+the women.
+
+
+At my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but those who
+stood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They beheld me with all
+the marks and circumstances of wonder; neither indeed was I much in
+their debt, having never till then seen a race of mortals so singular
+in their shapes, habits, and countenances. Their heads were all
+reclined, either to the right, or the left; one of their eyes turned
+inward, and the other directly up to the zenith. Their outward garments
+were adorned with the figures of suns, moons, and stars; interwoven
+with those of fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords,
+and many other instruments of music, unknown to us in Europe. I
+observed, here and there, many in the habit of servants, with a blown
+bladder, fastened like a flail to the end of a stick, which they
+carried in their hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of dried
+peas, or little pebbles, as I was afterwards informed. With these
+bladders, they now and then flapped the mouths and ears of those who
+stood near them, of which practice I could not then conceive the
+meaning. It seems the minds of these people are so taken up with
+intense speculations, that they neither can speak, nor attend to the
+discourses of others, without being roused by some external taction
+upon the organs of speech and hearing; for which reason, those persons
+who are able to afford it always keep a flapper (the original is
+_climenole_) in their family, as one of their domestics; nor ever walk
+abroad, or make visits, without him. And the business of this officer
+is, when two, three, or more persons are in company, gently to strike
+with his bladder the mouth of him who is to speak, and the right ear of
+him or them to whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper is
+likewise employed diligently to attend his master in his walks, and
+upon occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is always
+so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger of falling
+down every precipice, and bouncing his head against every post; and in
+the streets, of justling others, or being justled himself into the
+kennel.
+
+It was necessary to give the reader this information, without which he
+would be at the same loss with me to understand the proceedings of
+these people, as they conducted me up the stairs to the top of the
+island, and from thence to the royal palace. While we were ascending,
+they forgot several times what they were about, and left me to myself,
+till their memories were again roused by their flappers; for they
+appeared altogether unmoved by the sight of my foreign habit and
+countenance, and by the shouts of the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds
+were more disengaged.
+
+At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of
+presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on each
+side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a large table
+filled with globes and spheres, and mathematical instruments of all
+kinds. His majesty took not the least notice of us, although our
+entrance was not without sufficient noise, by the concourse of all
+persons belonging to the court. But he was then deep in a problem; and
+we attended at least an hour, before he could solve it. There stood by
+him, on each side, a young page with flaps in their hands, and when
+they saw he was at leisure, one of them gently struck his mouth, and
+the other his right ear; at which he startled like one awaked on the
+sudden, and looking towards me and the company I was in, recollected
+the occasion of our coming, whereof he had been informed before. He
+spoke some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap came up
+to my side, and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I made signs,
+as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such an instrument;
+which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty, and the whole court, a
+very mean opinion of my understanding. The king, as far as I could
+conjecture, asked me several questions, and I addressed myself to him
+in all the languages I had. When it was found I could neither
+understand nor be understood, I was conducted by his order to an
+apartment in his palace (this prince being distinguished above all his
+predecessors for his hospitality to strangers), where two servants were
+appointed to attend me. My dinner was brought, and four persons of
+quality, whom I remembered to have seen very near the king’s person,
+did me the honour to dine with me. We had two courses, of three dishes
+each. In the first course, there was a shoulder of mutton cut into an
+equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a rhomboides, and a pudding
+into a cycloid. The second course was two ducks trussed up in the form
+of fiddles; sausages and puddings resembling flutes and hautboys, and a
+breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The servants cut our bread into
+cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and several other mathematical
+figures.
+
+While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several things
+in their language, and those noble persons, by the assistance of their
+flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping to raise my admiration
+of their great abilities if I could be brought to converse with them. I
+was soon able to call for bread and drink, or whatever else I wanted.
+
+After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me by the
+king’s order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him pen, ink, and
+paper, and three or four books, giving me to understand by signs, that
+he was sent to teach me the language. We sat together four hours, in
+which time I wrote down a great number of words in columns, with the
+translations over against them; I likewise made a shift to learn
+several short sentences; for my tutor would order one of my servants to
+fetch something, to turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand, or
+walk, and the like. Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed
+me also, in one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars,
+the zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the
+denominations of many planes and solids. He gave me the names and
+descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the general terms of
+art in playing on each of them. After he had left me, I placed all my
+words, with their interpretations, in alphabetical order. And thus, in
+a few days, by the help of a very faithful memory, I got some insight
+into their language. The word, which I interpret the flying or floating
+island, is in the original _Laputa_, whereof I could never learn the
+true etymology. _Lap_, in the old obsolete language, signifies high;
+and _untuh_, a governor; from which they say, by corruption, was
+derived _Laputa_, from _Lapuntuh_. But I do not approve of this
+derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer to
+the learned among them a conjecture of my own, that Laputa was _quasi
+lap outed_; _lap_, signifying properly, the dancing of the sunbeams in
+the sea, and _outed_, a wing; which, however, I shall not obtrude, but
+submit to the judicious reader.
+
+Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was clad,
+ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take measure for a suit of
+clothes. This operator did his office after a different manner from
+those of his trade in Europe. He first took my altitude by a quadrant,
+and then, with a rule and compasses, described the dimensions and
+outlines of my whole body, all which he entered upon paper; and in six
+days brought my clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by
+happening to mistake a figure in the calculation. But my comfort was,
+that I observed such accidents very frequent, and little regarded.
+
+During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an indisposition that
+held me some days longer, I much enlarged my dictionary; and when I
+went next to court, was able to understand many things the king spoke,
+and to return him some kind of answers. His majesty had given orders,
+that the island should move north-east and by east, to the vertical
+point over Lagado, the metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the
+firm earth. It was about ninety leagues distant, and our voyage lasted
+four days and a half. I was not in the least sensible of the
+progressive motion made in the air by the island. On the second
+morning, about eleven o’clock, the king himself in person, attended by
+his nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their
+musical instruments, played on them for three hours without
+intermission, so that I was quite stunned with the noise; neither could
+I possibly guess the meaning, till my tutor informed me. He said that,
+the people of their island had their ears adapted to hear “the music of
+the spheres, which always played at certain periods, and the court was
+now prepared to bear their part, in whatever instrument they most
+excelled.”
+
+In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty ordered
+that the island should stop over certain towns and villages, from
+whence he might receive the petitions of his subjects. And to this
+purpose, several packthreads were let down, with small weights at the
+bottom. On these packthreads the people strung their petitions, which
+mounted up directly, like the scraps of paper fastened by schoolboys at
+the end of the string that holds their kite. Sometimes we received wine
+and victuals from below, which were drawn up by pulleys.
+
+The knowledge I had in mathematics gave me great assistance in
+acquiring their phraseology, which depended much upon that science, and
+music; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their ideas are
+perpetually conversant in lines and figures. If they would, for
+example, praise the beauty of a woman, or any other animal, they
+describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms, ellipses, and other
+geometrical terms, or by words of art drawn from music, needless here
+to repeat. I observed in the king’s kitchen all sorts of mathematical
+and musical instruments, after the figures of which they cut up the
+joints that were served to his majesty’s table.
+
+Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevel, without one right
+angle in any apartment; and this defect arises from the contempt they
+bear to practical geometry, which they despise as vulgar and mechanic;
+those instructions they give being too refined for the intellects of
+their workmen, which occasions perpetual mistakes. And although they
+are dexterous enough upon a piece of paper, in the management of the
+rule, the pencil, and the divider, yet in the common actions and
+behaviour of life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and unhandy
+people, nor so slow and perplexed in their conceptions upon all other
+subjects, except those of mathematics and music. They are very bad
+reasoners, and vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen
+to be of the right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination,
+fancy, and invention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words
+in their language, by which those ideas can be expressed; the whole
+compass of their thoughts and mind being shut up within the two
+forementioned sciences.
+
+Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical part,
+have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are ashamed to
+own it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether
+unaccountable, was the strong disposition I observed in them towards
+news and politics, perpetually inquiring into public affairs, giving
+their judgments in matters of state, and passionately disputing every
+inch of a party opinion. I have indeed observed the same disposition
+among most of the mathematicians I have known in Europe, although I
+could never discover the least analogy between the two sciences; unless
+those people suppose, that because the smallest circle has as many
+degrees as the largest, therefore the regulation and management of the
+world require no more abilities than the handling and turning of a
+globe; but I rather take this quality to spring from a very common
+infirmity of human nature, inclining us to be most curious and
+conceited in matters where we have least concern, and for which we are
+least adapted by study or nature.
+
+These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a
+minute’s peace of mind; and their disturbances proceed from causes
+which very little affect the rest of mortals. Their apprehensions arise
+from several changes they dread in the celestial bodies: for instance,
+that the earth, by the continual approaches of the sun towards it,
+must, in course of time, be absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of
+the sun, will, by degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and give
+no more light to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a
+brush from the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly
+reduced it to ashes; and that the next, which they have calculated for
+one-and-thirty years hence, will probably destroy us. For if, in its
+perihelion, it should approach within a certain degree of the sun (as
+by their calculations they have reason to dread) it will receive a
+degree of heat ten thousand times more intense than that of red hot
+glowing iron, and in its absence from the sun, carry a blazing tail ten
+hundred thousand and fourteen miles long, through which, if the earth
+should pass at the distance of one hundred thousand miles from the
+nucleus, or main body of the comet, it must in its passage be set on
+fire, and reduced to ashes: that the sun, daily spending its rays
+without any nutriment to supply them, will at last be wholly consumed
+and annihilated; which must be attended with the destruction of this
+earth, and of all the planets that receive their light from it.
+
+They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these, and
+the like impending dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly in
+their beds, nor have any relish for the common pleasures and amusements
+of life. When they meet an acquaintance in the morning, the first
+question is about the sun’s health, how he looked at his setting and
+rising, and what hopes they have to avoid the stroke of the approaching
+comet. This conversation they are apt to run into with the same temper
+that boys discover in delighting to hear terrible stories of spirits
+and hobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed
+for fear.
+
+The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they contemn their
+husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers, whereof there is
+always a considerable number from the continent below, attending at
+court, either upon affairs of the several towns and corporations, or
+their own particular occasions, but are much despised, because they
+want the same endowments. Among these the ladies choose their gallants:
+but the vexation is, that they act with too much ease and security; for
+the husband is always so rapt in speculation, that the mistress and
+lover may proceed to the greatest familiarities before his face, if he
+be but provided with paper and implements, and without his flapper at
+his side.
+
+The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island,
+although I think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world; and
+although they live here in the greatest plenty and magnificence, and
+are allowed to do whatever they please, they long to see the world, and
+take the diversions of the metropolis, which they are not allowed to do
+without a particular license from the king; and this is not easy to be
+obtained, because the people of quality have found, by frequent
+experience, how hard it is to persuade their women to return from
+below. I was told that a great court lady, who had several children,—is
+married to the prime minister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a
+very graceful person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest
+palace of the island,—went down to Lagado on the pretence of health,
+there hid herself for several months, till the king sent a warrant to
+search for her; and she was found in an obscure eating-house all in
+rags, having pawned her clothes to maintain an old deformed footman,
+who beat her every day, and in whose company she was taken, much
+against her will. And although her husband received her with all
+possible kindness, and without the least reproach, she soon after
+contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, to the same
+gallant, and has not been heard of since.
+
+This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for an European or English
+story, than for one of a country so remote. But he may please to
+consider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited by any climate
+or nation, and that they are much more uniform, than can be easily
+imagined.
+
+In about a month’s time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in their
+language, and was able to answer most of the king’s questions, when I
+had the honour to attend him. His majesty discovered not the least
+curiosity to inquire into the laws, government, history, religion, or
+manners of the countries where I had been; but confined his questions
+to the state of mathematics, and received the account I gave him with
+great contempt and indifference, though often roused by his flapper on
+each side.
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The Laputians’
+great improvements in the latter. The king’s method of suppressing
+insurrections.
+
+
+I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the island,
+which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my tutor to
+attend me. I chiefly wanted to know, to what cause, in art or in
+nature, it owed its several motions, whereof I will now give a
+philosophical account to the reader.
+
+The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter 7837
+yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently contains ten
+thousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick. The bottom, or under
+surface, which appears to those who view it below, is one even regular
+plate of adamant, shooting up to the height of about two hundred yards.
+Above it lie the several minerals in their usual order, and over all is
+a coat of rich mould, ten or twelve feet deep. The declivity of the
+upper surface, from the circumference to the centre, is the natural
+cause why all the dews and rains, which fall upon the island, are
+conveyed in small rivulets toward the middle, where they are emptied
+into four large basins, each of about half a mile in circuit, and two
+hundred yards distant from the centre. From these basins the water is
+continually exhaled by the sun in the daytime, which effectually
+prevents their overflowing. Besides, as it is in the power of the
+monarch to raise the island above the region of clouds and vapours, he
+can prevent the falling of dews and rain whenever he pleases. For the
+highest clouds cannot rise above two miles, as naturalists agree, at
+least they were never known to do so in that country.
+
+At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in
+diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome, which is
+therefore called _flandona gagnole_, or the astronomer’s cave, situated
+at the depth of a hundred yards beneath the upper surface of the
+adamant. In this cave are twenty lamps continually burning, which, from
+the reflection of the adamant, cast a strong light into every part. The
+place is stored with great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes,
+astrolabes, and other astronomical instruments. But the greatest
+curiosity, upon which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of
+a prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver’s shuttle. It is in
+length six yards, and in the thickest part at least three yards over.
+This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing
+through its middle, upon which it plays, and is poised so exactly that
+the weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow cylinder
+of adamant, four feet deep, as many thick, and twelve yards in
+diameter, placed horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet,
+each six yards high. In the middle of the concave side, there is a
+groove twelve inches deep, in which the extremities of the axle are
+lodged, and turned round as there is occasion.
+
+The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because the
+hoop and its feet are one continued piece with that body of adamant
+which constitutes the bottom of the island.
+
+By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and
+move from one place to another. For, with respect to that part of the
+earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is endued at one of
+its sides with an attractive power, and at the other with a repulsive.
+Upon placing the magnet erect, with its attracting end towards the
+earth, the island descends; but when the repelling extremity points
+downwards, the island mounts directly upwards. When the position of the
+stone is oblique, the motion of the island is so too. For in this
+magnet, the forces always act in lines parallel to its direction.
+
+By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts of
+the monarch’s dominions. To explain the manner of its progress, let _A_
+_B_ represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi, let the
+line _c_ _d_ represent the loadstone, of which let _d_ be the repelling
+end, and _c_ the attracting end, the island being over _C_; let the
+stone be placed in the position _c_ _d_, with its repelling end
+downwards; then the island will be driven upwards obliquely towards
+_D_. When it is arrived at _D_, let the stone be turned upon its axle,
+till its attracting end points towards _E_, and then the island will be
+carried obliquely towards _E_; where, if the stone be again turned upon
+its axle till it stands in the position _E_ _F_, with its repelling
+point downwards, the island will rise obliquely towards _F_, where, by
+directing the attracting end towards _G_, the island may be carried to
+_G_, and from _G_ to _H_, by turning the stone, so as to make its
+repelling extremity to point directly downward. And thus, by changing
+the situation of the stone, as often as there is occasion, the island
+is made to rise and fall by turns in an oblique direction, and by those
+alternate risings and fallings (the obliquity being not considerable)
+is conveyed from one part of the dominions to the other.
+
+But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the extent
+of the dominions below, nor can it rise above the height of four miles.
+For which the astronomers (who have written large systems concerning
+the stone) assign the following reason: that the magnetic virtue does
+not extend beyond the distance of four miles, and that the mineral,
+which acts upon the stone in the bowels of the earth, and in the sea
+about six leagues distant from the shore, is not diffused through the
+whole globe, but terminated with the limits of the king’s dominions;
+and it was easy, from the great advantage of such a superior situation,
+for a prince to bring under his obedience whatever country lay within
+the attraction of that magnet.
+
+When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the island
+stands still; for in that case the extremities of it, being at equal
+distance from the earth, act with equal force, the one in drawing
+downwards, the other in pushing upwards, and consequently no motion can
+ensue.
+
+This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from time
+to time, give it such positions as the monarch directs. They spend the
+greatest part of their lives in observing the celestial bodies, which
+they do by the assistance of glasses, far excelling ours in goodness.
+For, although their largest telescopes do not exceed three feet, they
+magnify much more than those of a hundred with us, and show the stars
+with greater clearness. This advantage has enabled them to extend their
+discoveries much further than our astronomers in Europe; for they have
+made a catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of
+ours do not contain above one third part of that number. They have
+likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve
+about Mars; whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of the
+primary planet exactly three of his diameters, and the outermost, five;
+the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and the latter in
+twenty-one and a half; so that the squares of their periodical times
+are very near in the same proportion with the cubes of their distance
+from the centre of Mars; which evidently shows them to be governed by
+the same law of gravitation that influences the other heavenly bodies.
+
+They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled their
+periods with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm it with
+great confidence) it is much to be wished, that their observations were
+made public, whereby the theory of comets, which at present is very
+lame and defective, might be brought to the same perfection with other
+arts of astronomy.
+
+The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he could
+but prevail on a ministry to join with him; but these having their
+estates below on the continent, and considering that the office of a
+favourite has a very uncertain tenure, would never consent to the
+enslaving of their country.
+
+If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent
+factions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king has two methods
+of reducing them to obedience. The first and the mildest course is, by
+keeping the island hovering over such a town, and the lands about it,
+whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of the sun and the rain, and
+consequently afflict the inhabitants with dearth and diseases. And if
+the crime deserve it, they are at the same time pelted from above with
+great stones, against which they have no defence but by creeping into
+cellars or caves, while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces.
+But if they still continue obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections,
+he proceeds to the last remedy, by letting the island drop directly
+upon their heads, which makes a universal destruction both of houses
+and men. However, this is an extremity to which the prince is seldom
+driven, neither indeed is he willing to put it in execution; nor dare
+his ministers advise him to an action, which, as it would render them
+odious to the people, so it would be a great damage to their own
+estates, which all lie below; for the island is the king’s demesne.
+
+But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of this
+country have been always averse from executing so terrible an action,
+unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town intended to be
+destroyed should have in it any tall rocks, as it generally falls out
+in the larger cities, a situation probably chosen at first with a view
+to prevent such a catastrophe; or if it abound in high spires, or
+pillars of stone, a sudden fall might endanger the bottom or under
+surface of the island, which, although it consist, as I have said, of
+one entire adamant, two hundred yards thick, might happen to crack by
+too great a shock, or burst by approaching too near the fires from the
+houses below, as the backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in
+our chimneys. Of all this the people are well apprised, and understand
+how far to carry their obstinacy, where their liberty or property is
+concerned. And the king, when he is highest provoked, and most
+determined to press a city to rubbish, orders the island to descend
+with great gentleness, out of a pretence of tenderness to his people,
+but, indeed, for fear of breaking the adamantine bottom; in which case,
+it is the opinion of all their philosophers, that the loadstone could
+no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground.
+
+About three years before my arrival among them, while the king was in
+his progress over his dominions, there happened an extraordinary
+accident which had like to have put a period to the fate of that
+monarchy, at least as it is now instituted. Lindalino, the second city
+in the kingdom, was the first his majesty visited in his progress.
+Three days after his departure the inhabitants, who had often
+complained of great oppressions, shut the town gates, seized on the
+governor, and with incredible speed and labour erected four large
+towers, one at every corner of the city (which is an exact square),
+equal in height to a strong pointed rock that stands directly in the
+centre of the city. Upon the top of each tower, as well as upon the
+rock, they fixed a great loadstone, and in case their design should
+fail, they had provided a vast quantity of the most combustible fuel,
+hoping to burst therewith the adamantine bottom of the island, if the
+loadstone project should miscarry.
+
+It was eight months before the king had perfect notice that the
+Lindalinians were in rebellion. He then commanded that the island
+should be wafted over the city. The people were unanimous, and had laid
+in store of provisions, and a great river runs through the middle of
+the town. The king hovered over them several days to deprive them of
+the sun and the rain. He ordered many packthreads to be let down, yet
+not a person offered to send up a petition, but instead thereof very
+bold demands, the redress of all their grievances, great immunities,
+the choice of their own governor, and other the like exorbitances. Upon
+which his majesty commanded all the inhabitants of the island to cast
+great stones from the lower gallery into the town; but the citizens had
+provided against this mischief by conveying their persons and effects
+into the four towers, and other strong buildings, and vaults
+underground.
+
+The king being now determined to reduce this proud people, ordered that
+the island should descend gently within forty yards of the top of the
+towers and rock. This was accordingly done; but the officers employed
+in that work found the descent much speedier than usual, and by turning
+the loadstone could not without great difficulty keep it in a firm
+position, but found the island inclining to fall. They sent the king
+immediate intelligence of this astonishing event, and begged his
+majesty’s permission to raise the island higher; the king consented, a
+general council was called, and the officers of the loadstone ordered
+to attend. One of the oldest and expertest among them obtained leave to
+try an experiment, he took a strong line of an hundred yards, and the
+island being raised over the town above the attracting power they had
+felt, he fastened a piece of adamant to the end of his line, which had
+in it a mixture of iron mineral, of the same nature with that whereof
+the bottom or lower surface of the island is composed, and from the
+lower gallery let it down slowly towards the top of the towers. The
+adamant was not descended four yards, before the officer felt it drawn
+so strongly downwards that he could hardly pull it back, he then threw
+down several small pieces of adamant, and observed that they were all
+violently attracted by the top of the tower. The same experiment was
+made on the other three towers, and on the rock with the same effect.
+
+This incident broke entirely the king’s measures, and (to dwell no
+longer on other circumstances) he was forced to give the town their own
+conditions.
+
+I was assured by a great minister that if the island had descended so
+near the town as not to be able to raise itself, the citizens were
+determined to fix it for ever, to kill the king and all his servants,
+and entirely change the government.
+
+By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either of his
+two eldest sons, are permitted to leave the island; nor the queen, till
+she is past child-bearing.
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+The author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at the
+metropolis. A description of the metropolis, and the country adjoining.
+The author hospitably received by a great lord. His conversation with
+that lord.
+
+
+Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island, yet I must
+confess I thought myself too much neglected, not without some degree of
+contempt; for neither prince nor people appeared to be curious in any
+part of knowledge, except mathematics and music, wherein I was far
+their inferior, and upon that account very little regarded.
+
+On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the island,
+I was very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those people.
+They were indeed excellent in two sciences for which I have great
+esteem, and wherein I am not unversed; but, at the same time, so
+abstracted and involved in speculation, that I never met with such
+disagreeable companions. I conversed only with women, tradesmen,
+flappers, and court-pages, during two months of my abode there; by
+which, at last, I rendered myself extremely contemptible; yet these
+were the only people from whom I could ever receive a reasonable
+answer.
+
+I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in their
+language; I was weary of being confined to an island where I received
+so little countenance, and resolved to leave it with the first
+opportunity.
+
+There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for
+that reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the
+most ignorant and stupid person among them. He had performed many
+eminent services for the crown, had great natural and acquired parts,
+adorned with integrity and honour; but so ill an ear for music, that
+his detractors reported, “he had been often known to beat time in the
+wrong place;” neither could his tutors, without extreme difficulty,
+teach him to demonstrate the most easy proposition in the mathematics.
+He was pleased to show me many marks of favour, often did me the honour
+of a visit, desired to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws
+and customs, the manners and learning of the several countries where I
+had travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very
+wise observations on all I spoke. He had two flappers attending him for
+state, but never made use of them, except at court and in visits of
+ceremony, and would always command them to withdraw, when we were alone
+together.
+
+I entreated this illustrious person, to intercede in my behalf with his
+majesty, for leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he was
+pleased to tell me, with regret: for indeed he had made me several
+offers very advantageous, which, however, I refused, with expressions
+of the highest acknowledgment.
+
+On the 16th day of February I took leave of his majesty and the court.
+The king made me a present to the value of about two hundred pounds
+English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much more, together with a
+letter of recommendation to a friend of his in Lagado, the metropolis.
+The island being then hovering over a mountain about two miles from it,
+I was let down from the lowest gallery, in the same manner as I had
+been taken up.
+
+The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flying
+island, passes under the general name of _Balnibarbi_; and the
+metropolis, as I said before, is called _Lagado_. I felt some little
+satisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I walked to the city
+without any concern, being clad like one of the natives, and
+sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found out the
+person’s house to whom I was recommended, presented my letter from his
+friend the grandee in the island, and was received with much kindness.
+This great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered me an apartment in his
+own house, where I continued during my stay, and was entertained in a
+most hospitable manner.
+
+The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to see the
+town, which is about half the bigness of London; but the houses very
+strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The people in the
+streets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and were generally
+in rags. We passed through one of the town gates, and went about three
+miles into the country, where I saw many labourers working with several
+sorts of tools in the ground, but was not able to conjecture what they
+were about; neither did I observe any expectation either of corn or
+grass, although the soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear
+admiring at these odd appearances, both in town and country; and I made
+bold to desire my conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to me,
+what could be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces, both in
+the streets and the fields, because I did not discover any good effects
+they produced; but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so unhappily
+cultivated, houses so ill contrived and so ruinous, or a people whose
+countenances and habit expressed so much misery and want.
+
+This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been some
+years governor of Lagado; but, by a cabal of ministers, was discharged
+for insufficiency. However, the king treated him with tenderness, as a
+well-meaning man, but of a low contemptible understanding.
+
+When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants, he
+made no further answer than by telling me, “that I had not been long
+enough among them to form a judgment; and that the different nations of
+the world had different customs;” with other common topics to the same
+purpose. But, when we returned to his palace, he asked me “how I liked
+the building, what absurdities I observed, and what quarrel I had with
+the dress or looks of his domestics?” This he might safely do; because
+every thing about him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered,
+“that his excellency’s prudence, quality, and fortune, had exempted him
+from those defects, which folly and beggary had produced in others.” He
+said, “if I would go with him to his country-house, about twenty miles
+distant, where his estate lay, there would be more leisure for this
+kind of conversation.” I told his excellency “that I was entirely at
+his disposal;” and accordingly we set out next morning.
+
+During our journey he made me observe the several methods used by
+farmers in managing their lands, which to me were wholly unaccountable;
+for, except in some very few places, I could not discover one ear of
+corn or blade of grass. But, in three hours travelling, the scene was
+wholly altered; we came into a most beautiful country; farmers’ houses,
+at small distances, neatly built; the fields enclosed, containing
+vineyards, corn-grounds, and meadows. Neither do I remember to have
+seen a more delightful prospect. His excellency observed my countenance
+to clear up; he told me, with a sigh, “that there his estate began, and
+would continue the same, till we should come to his house: that his
+countrymen ridiculed and despised him, for managing his affairs no
+better, and for setting so ill an example to the kingdom; which,
+however, was followed by very few, such as were old, and wilful, and
+weak like himself.”
+
+We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble structure,
+built according to the best rules of ancient architecture. The
+fountains, gardens, walks, avenues, and groves, were all disposed with
+exact judgment and taste. I gave due praises to every thing I saw,
+whereof his excellency took not the least notice till after supper;
+when, there being no third companion, he told me with a very melancholy
+air “that he doubted he must throw down his houses in town and country,
+to rebuild them after the present mode; destroy all his plantations,
+and cast others into such a form as modern usage required, and give the
+same directions to all his tenants, unless he would submit to incur the
+censure of pride, singularity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and
+perhaps increase his majesty’s displeasure; that the admiration I
+appeared to be under would cease or diminish, when he had informed me
+of some particulars which, probably, I never heard of at court, the
+people there being too much taken up in their own speculations, to have
+regard to what passed here below.”
+
+The sum of his discourse was to this effect: “That about forty years
+ago, certain persons went up to Laputa, either upon business or
+diversion, and, after five months continuance, came back with a very
+little smattering in mathematics, but full of volatile spirits acquired
+in that airy region: that these persons, upon their return, began to
+dislike the management of every thing below, and fell into schemes of
+putting all arts, sciences, languages, and mechanics, upon a new foot.
+To this end, they procured a royal patent for erecting an academy of
+projectors in Lagado; and the humour prevailed so strongly among the
+people, that there is not a town of any consequence in the kingdom
+without such an academy. In these colleges the professors contrive new
+rules and methods of agriculture and building, and new instruments, and
+tools for all trades and manufactures; whereby, as they undertake, one
+man shall do the work of ten; a palace may be built in a week, of
+materials so durable as to last for ever without repairing. All the
+fruits of the earth shall come to maturity at whatever season we think
+fit to choose, and increase a hundred fold more than they do at
+present; with innumerable other happy proposals. The only inconvenience
+is, that none of these projects are yet brought to perfection; and in
+the mean time, the whole country lies miserably waste, the houses in
+ruins, and the people without food or clothes. By all which, instead of
+being discouraged, they are fifty times more violently bent upon
+prosecuting their schemes, driven equally on by hope and despair: that
+as for himself, being not of an enterprising spirit, he was content to
+go on in the old forms, to live in the houses his ancestors had built,
+and act as they did, in every part of life, without innovation: that
+some few other persons of quality and gentry had done the same, but
+were looked on with an eye of contempt and ill-will, as enemies to art,
+ignorant, and ill common-wealth’s men, preferring their own ease and
+sloth before the general improvement of their country.”
+
+His lordship added, “That he would not, by any further particulars,
+prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grand
+academy, whither he was resolved I should go.” He only desired me to
+observe a ruined building, upon the side of a mountain about three
+miles distant, of which he gave me this account: “That he had a very
+convenient mill within half a mile of his house, turned by a current
+from a large river, and sufficient for his own family, as well as a
+great number of his tenants; that about seven years ago, a club of
+those projectors came to him with proposals to destroy this mill, and
+build another on the side of that mountain, on the long ridge whereof a
+long canal must be cut, for a repository of water, to be conveyed up by
+pipes and engines to supply the mill, because the wind and air upon a
+height agitated the water, and thereby made it fitter for motion, and
+because the water, descending down a declivity, would turn the mill
+with half the current of a river whose course is more upon a level.” He
+said, “that being then not very well with the court, and pressed by
+many of his friends, he complied with the proposal; and after employing
+a hundred men for two years, the work miscarried, the projectors went
+off, laying the blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever since, and
+putting others upon the same experiment, with equal assurance of
+success, as well as equal disappointment.”
+
+In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency, considering the
+bad character he had in the academy, would not go with me himself, but
+recommended me to a friend of his, to bear me company thither. My lord
+was pleased to represent me as a great admirer of projects, and a
+person of much curiosity and easy belief; which, indeed, was not
+without truth; for I had myself been a sort of projector in my younger
+days.
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The academy
+largely described. The arts wherein the professors employ themselves.
+
+
+This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation of
+several houses on both sides of a street, which growing waste, was
+purchased and applied to that use.
+
+I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days to the
+academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and I believe I
+could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms.
+
+The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and face,
+his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places. His
+clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He had been
+eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers,
+which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm
+the air in raw inclement summers. He told me, he did not doubt, that,
+in eight years more, he should be able to supply the governor’s gardens
+with sunshine, at a reasonable rate; but he complained that his stock
+was low, and entreated me “to give him something as an encouragement to
+ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear season for
+cucumbers.” I made him a small present, for my lord had furnished me
+with money on purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from
+all who go to see them.
+
+I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almost
+overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me forward,
+conjuring me in a whisper “to give no offence, which would be highly
+resented;” and therefore I durst not so much as stop my nose. The
+projector of this cell was the most ancient student of the academy; his
+face and beard were of a pale yellow; his hands and clothes daubed over
+with filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close embrace, a
+compliment I could well have excused. His employment, from his first
+coming into the academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement to
+its original food, by separating the several parts, removing the
+tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour exhale, and
+scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from the society,
+of a vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness of a Bristol
+barrel.
+
+I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise
+showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of
+fire, which he intended to publish.
+
+There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new method
+for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working downward to
+the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like practice of those
+two prudent insects, the bee and the spider.
+
+There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own
+condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters, which
+their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was
+indeed my misfortune to find them at that time not very perfect in
+their lessons, and the professor himself happened to be generally
+mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole
+fraternity.
+
+In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who had
+found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the charges
+of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an acre of
+ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a quantity of
+acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables, whereof these
+animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or more of them into
+the field, where, in a few days, they will root up the whole ground in
+search of their food, and make it fit for sowing, at the same time
+manuring it with their dung: it is true, upon experiment, they found
+the charge and trouble very great, and they had little or no crop.
+However it is not doubted, that this invention may be capable of great
+improvement.
+
+I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung
+round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in and
+out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, “not to disturb his webs.”
+He lamented “the fatal mistake the world had been so long in, of using
+silkworms, while we had such plenty of domestic insects who infinitely
+excelled the former, because they understood how to weave, as well as
+spin.” And he proposed further, “that by employing spiders, the charge
+of dyeing silks should be wholly saved;” whereof I was fully convinced,
+when he showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured,
+wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us “that the webs would take a
+tincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he hoped to fit
+everybody’s fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies,
+of certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a strength
+and consistence to the threads.”
+
+There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial upon
+the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the annual and
+diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer and coincide with
+all accidental turnings of the wind.
+
+I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my conductor
+led me into a room where a great physician resided, who was famous for
+curing that disease, by contrary operations from the same instrument.
+He had a large pair of bellows, with a long slender muzzle of ivory.
+This he conveyed eight inches up the anus, and drawing in the wind, he
+affirmed he could make the guts as lank as a dried bladder. But when
+the disease was more stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while
+the bellows were full of wind, which he discharged into the body of the
+patient; then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his
+thumb strongly against the orifice of the fundament; and this being
+repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush out,
+bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a pump), and
+the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon a dog, but
+could not discern any effect from the former. After the latter the
+animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a discharge as was very
+offensive to me and my companions. The dog died on the spot, and we
+left the doctor endeavouring to recover him, by the same operation.
+
+I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader with
+all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity.
+
+I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being
+appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I shall
+say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person more, who
+is called among them “the universal artist.” He told us “he had been
+thirty years employing his thoughts for the improvement of human life.”
+He had two large rooms full of wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at
+work. Some were condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by
+extracting the nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles
+percolate; others softening marble, for pillows and pin-cushions;
+others petrifying the hoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from
+foundering. The artist himself was at that time busy upon two great
+designs; the first, to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the
+true seminal virtue to be contained, as he demonstrated by several
+experiments, which I was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other
+was, by a certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables,
+outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon two young lambs;
+and he hoped, in a reasonable time to propagate the breed of naked
+sheep, all over the kingdom.
+
+We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I have
+already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided.
+
+The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty pupils
+about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon a
+frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length and breadth
+of the room, he said, “Perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in a
+project for improving speculative knowledge, by practical and
+mechanical operations. But the world would soon be sensible of its
+usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more noble, exalted
+thought never sprang in any other man’s head. Every one knew how
+laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and sciences;
+whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant person, at a reasonable
+charge, and with a little bodily labour, might write books in
+philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, mathematics, and theology, without
+the least assistance from genius or study.” He then led me to the
+frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was
+twenty feet square, placed in the middle of the room. The superficies
+was composed of several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but
+some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender
+wires. These bits of wood were covered, on every square, with paper
+pasted on them; and on these papers were written all the words of their
+language, in their several moods, tenses, and declensions; but without
+any order. The professor then desired me “to observe; for he was going
+to set his engine at work.” The pupils, at his command, took each of
+them hold of an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed round the
+edges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the whole
+disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded
+six-and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly, as they
+appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four words
+together that might make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four
+remaining boys, who were scribes. This work was repeated three or four
+times, and at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words
+shifted into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down.
+
+The frame
+
+
+Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour; and
+the professor showed me several volumes in large folio, already
+collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece together,
+and out of those rich materials, to give the world a complete body of
+all arts and sciences; which, however, might be still improved, and
+much expedited, if the public would raise a fund for making and
+employing five hundred such frames in Lagado, and oblige the managers
+to contribute in common their several collections.
+
+He assured me “that this invention had employed all his thoughts from
+his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his frame, and
+made the strictest computation of the general proportion there is in
+books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other
+parts of speech.”
+
+I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for his
+great communicativeness; and promised, “if ever I had the good fortune
+to return to my native country, that I would do him justice, as the
+sole inventor of this wonderful machine;” the form and contrivance of
+which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as in the figure here
+annexed. I told him, “although it were the custom of our learned in
+Europe to steal inventions from each other, who had thereby at least
+this advantage, that it became a controversy which was the right owner;
+yet I would take such caution, that he should have the honour entire,
+without a rival.”
+
+We next went to the school of languages, where three professors sat in
+consultation upon improving that of their own country.
+
+The first project was to shorten discourse by cutting polysyllables
+into one, and leaving out verbs and participles, because, in reality,
+all things imaginable are but nouns.
+
+The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words
+whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of health,
+as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak is, in
+some degree, a diminution of our lungs by corrosion, and, consequently,
+contributes to the shortening of our lives. An expedient was therefore
+offered, “that since words are only names for _things_, it would be
+more convenient for all men to carry about them such things as were
+necessary to express a particular business they are to discourse on.”
+And this invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease
+as well as health of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the
+vulgar and illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless
+they might be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after
+the manner of their forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies
+to science are the common people. However, many of the most learned and
+wise adhere to the new scheme of expressing themselves by things; which
+has only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man’s business be
+very great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to
+carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford
+one or two strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of
+those sages almost sinking under the weight of their packs, like
+pedlars among us, who, when they met in the street, would lay down
+their loads, open their sacks, and hold conversation for an hour
+together; then put up their implements, help each other to resume their
+burdens, and take their leave.
+
+But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his pockets,
+and under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his house, he cannot
+be at a loss. Therefore the room where company meet who practise this
+art, is full of all things, ready at hand, requisite to furnish matter
+for this kind of artificial converse.
+
+Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it would
+serve as a universal language, to be understood in all civilised
+nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the same kind, or
+nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily be comprehended. And
+thus ambassadors would be qualified to treat with foreign princes, or
+ministers of state, to whose tongues they were utter strangers.
+
+I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his pupils
+after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The proposition, and
+demonstration, were fairly written on a thin wafer, with ink composed
+of a cephalic tincture. This, the student was to swallow upon a fasting
+stomach, and for three days following, eat nothing but bread and water.
+As the wafer digested, the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the
+proposition along with it. But the success has not hitherto been
+answerable, partly by some error in the _quantum_ or composition, and
+partly by the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous,
+that they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it
+can operate; neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an
+abstinence, as the prescription requires.
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+A further account of the academy. The author proposes some
+improvements, which are honourably received.
+
+
+In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained; the
+professors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of their senses, which
+is a scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy people
+were proposing schemes for persuading monarchs to choose favourites
+upon the score of their wisdom, capacity, and virtue; of teaching
+ministers to consult the public good; of rewarding merit, great
+abilities, eminent services; of instructing princes to know their true
+interest, by placing it on the same foundation with that of their
+people; of choosing for employments persons qualified to exercise them,
+with many other wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered before
+into the heart of man to conceive; and confirmed in me the old
+observation, “that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational,
+which some philosophers have not maintained for truth.”
+
+But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the Academy, as
+to acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a most
+ingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole nature
+and system of government. This illustrious person had very usefully
+employed his studies, in finding out effectual remedies for all
+diseases and corruptions to which the several kinds of public
+administration are subject, by the vices or infirmities of those who
+govern, as well as by the licentiousness of those who are to obey. For
+instance: whereas all writers and reasoners have agreed, that there is
+a strict universal resemblance between the natural and the political
+body; can there be any thing more evident, than that the health of both
+must be preserved, and the diseases cured, by the same prescriptions?
+It is allowed, that senates and great councils are often troubled with
+redundant, ebullient, and other peccant humours; with many diseases of
+the head, and more of the heart; with strong convulsions, with grievous
+contractions of the nerves and sinews in both hands, but especially the
+right; with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and deliriums; with scrofulous
+tumours, full of fetid purulent matter; with sour frothy ructations:
+with canine appetites, and crudeness of digestion, besides many others,
+needless to mention. This doctor therefore proposed, “that upon the
+meeting of the senate, certain physicians should attend it the three
+first days of their sitting, and at the close of each day’s debate feel
+the pulses of every senator; after which, having maturely considered
+and consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the methods
+of cure, they should on the fourth day return to the senate house,
+attended by their apothecaries stored with proper medicines; and before
+the members sat, administer to each of them lenitives, aperitives,
+abstersives, corrosives, restringents, palliatives, laxatives,
+cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics, acoustics, as their several
+cases required; and, according as these medicines should operate,
+repeat, alter, or omit them, at the next meeting.”
+
+This project could not be of any great expense to the public; and might
+in my poor opinion, be of much use for the despatch of business, in
+those countries where senates have any share in the legislative power;
+beget unanimity, shorten debates, open a few mouths which are now
+closed, and close many more which are now open; curb the petulancy of
+the young, and correct the positiveness of the old; rouse the stupid,
+and damp the pert.
+
+Again, because it is a general complaint, that the favourites of
+princes are troubled with short and weak memories; the same doctor
+proposed, “that whoever attended a first minister, after having told
+his business, with the utmost brevity and in the plainest words,
+should, at his departure, give the said minister a tweak by the nose,
+or a kick in the belly, or tread on his corns, or lug him thrice by
+both ears, or run a pin into his breech; or pinch his arm black and
+blue, to prevent forgetfulness; and at every levee day, repeat the same
+operation, till the business were done, or absolutely refused.”
+
+He likewise directed, “that every senator in the great council of a
+nation, after he had delivered his opinion, and argued in the defence
+of it, should be obliged to give his vote directly contrary; because if
+that were done, the result would infallibly terminate in the good of
+the public.”
+
+When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful contrivance
+to reconcile them. The method is this: You take a hundred leaders of
+each party; you dispose them into couples of such whose heads are
+nearest of a size; then let two nice operators saw off the occiput of
+each couple at the same time, in such a manner that the brain may be
+equally divided. Let the occiputs, thus cut off, be interchanged,
+applying each to the head of his opposite party-man. It seems indeed to
+be a work that requires some exactness, but the professor assured us,
+“that if it were dexterously performed, the cure would be infallible.”
+For he argued thus: “that the two half brains being left to debate the
+matter between themselves within the space of one skull, would soon
+come to a good understanding, and produce that moderation, as well as
+regularity of thinking, so much to be wished for in the heads of those,
+who imagine they come into the world only to watch and govern its
+motion: and as to the difference of brains, in quantity or quality,
+among those who are directors in faction,” the doctor assured us, from
+his own knowledge, that “it was a perfect trifle.”
+
+I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the most
+commodious and effectual ways and means of raising money, without
+grieving the subject. The first affirmed, “the justest method would be,
+to lay a certain tax upon vices and folly; and the sum fixed upon every
+man to be rated, after the fairest manner, by a jury of his
+neighbours.” The second was of an opinion directly contrary; “to tax
+those qualities of body and mind, for which men chiefly value
+themselves; the rate to be more or less, according to the degrees of
+excelling; the decision whereof should be left entirely to their own
+breast.” The highest tax was upon men who are the greatest favourites
+of the other sex, and the assessments, according to the number and
+nature of the favours they have received; for which, they are allowed
+to be their own vouchers. Wit, valour, and politeness, were likewise
+proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in the same manner, by
+every person’s giving his own word for the quantum of what he
+possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, and learning, they should
+not be taxed at all; because they are qualifications of so singular a
+kind, that no man will either allow them in his neighbour or value them
+in himself.
+
+The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty and skill
+in dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the men, to be
+determined by their own judgment. But constancy, chastity, good sense,
+and good nature, were not rated, because they would not bear the charge
+of collecting.
+
+To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that the
+members should raffle for employments; every man first taking an oath,
+and giving security, that he would vote for the court, whether he won
+or not; after which, the losers had, in their turn, the liberty of
+raffling upon the next vacancy. Thus, hope and expectation would be
+kept alive; none would complain of broken promises, but impute their
+disappointments wholly to fortune, whose shoulders are broader and
+stronger than those of a ministry.
+
+Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for
+discovering plots and conspiracies against the government. He advised
+great statesmen to examine into the diet of all suspected persons;
+their times of eating; upon which side they lay in bed; with which hand
+they wipe their posteriors; take a strict view of their excrements,
+and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the
+crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts
+and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent,
+as when they are at stool, which he found by frequent experiment; for,
+in such conjunctures, when he used, merely as a trial, to consider
+which was the best way of murdering the king, his ordure would have a
+tincture of green; but quite different, when he thought only of raising
+an insurrection, or burning the metropolis.
+
+The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing many
+observations, both curious and useful for politicians; but, as I
+conceived, not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the author,
+and offered, if he pleased, to supply him with some additions. He
+received my proposition with more compliance than is usual among
+writers, especially those of the projecting species, professing “he
+would be glad to receive further information.”
+
+I told him, “that in the kingdom of Tribnia, [454a] by the natives
+called Langden, [454b] where I had sojourned some time in my travels,
+the bulk of the people consist in a manner wholly of discoverers,
+witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors, evidences, swearers,
+together with their several subservient and subaltern instruments, all
+under the colours, the conduct, and the pay of ministers of state, and
+their deputies. The plots, in that kingdom, are usually the workmanship
+of those persons who desire to raise their own characters of profound
+politicians; to restore new vigour to a crazy administration; to stifle
+or divert general discontents; to fill their coffers with forfeitures;
+and raise, or sink the opinion of public credit, as either shall best
+answer their private advantage. It is first agreed and settled among
+them, what suspected persons shall be accused of a plot; then,
+effectual care is taken to secure all their letters and papers, and put
+the owners in chains. These papers are delivered to a set of artists,
+very dexterous in finding out the mysterious meanings of words,
+syllables, and letters: for instance, they can discover a close stool,
+to signify a privy council; a flock of geese, a senate; a lame dog, an
+invader; a codshead; a ——; the plague, a standing army; a buzzard, a
+prime minister; the gout, a high priest; a gibbet, a secretary of
+state; a chamber pot, a committee of grandees; a sieve, a court lady; a
+broom, a revolution; a mouse-trap, an employment; a bottomless pit, a
+treasury; a sink, a court; a cap and bells, a favourite; a broken reed,
+a court of justice; an empty tun, a general; a running sore, the
+administration. [455]
+
+“When this method fails, they have two others more effectual, which the
+learned among them call acrostics and anagrams. First, they can
+decipher all initial letters into political meanings. Thus _N_. shall
+signify a plot; _B_. a regiment of horse; _L_. a fleet at sea; or,
+secondly, by transposing the letters of the alphabet in any suspected
+paper, they can lay open the deepest designs of a discontented party.
+So, for example, if I should say, in a letter to a friend, ‘Our brother
+Tom has just got the piles,’ a skilful decipherer would discover, that
+the same letters which compose that sentence, may be analysed into the
+following words, ‘Resist, a plot is brought home; The tour.’ And this
+is the anagrammatic method.”
+
+The professor made me great acknowledgments for communicating these
+observations, and promised to make honourable mention of me in his
+treatise.
+
+I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer
+continuance, and began to think of returning home to England.
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+The author leaves Lagado: arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready. He takes
+a short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the governor.
+
+
+The continent, of which this kingdom is apart, extends itself, as I
+have reason to believe, eastward, to that unknown tract of America
+westward of California; and north, to the Pacific Ocean, which is not
+above a hundred and fifty miles from Lagado; where there is a good
+port, and much commerce with the great island of Luggnagg, situated to
+the north-west about 29 degrees north latitude, and 140 longitude. This
+island of Luggnagg stands south-eastward of Japan, about a hundred
+leagues distant. There is a strict alliance between the Japanese
+emperor and the king of Luggnagg; which affords frequent opportunities
+of sailing from one island to the other. I determined therefore to
+direct my course this way, in order to direct my return to Europe. I
+hired two mules, with a guide, to show me the way, and carry my small
+baggage. I took leave of my noble protector, who had shown me so much
+favour, and made me a generous present at my departure.
+
+My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating. When I
+arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called) there was no
+ship in the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor likely to be in some time.
+The town is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some
+acquaintance, and was very hospitably received. A gentleman of
+distinction said to me, “that since the ships bound for Luggnagg could
+not be ready in less than a month, it might be no disagreeable
+amusement for me to take a trip to the little island of Glubbdubdrib,
+about five leagues off to the south-west.” He offered himself and a
+friend to accompany me, and that I should be provided with a small
+convenient bark for the voyage.
+
+Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the
+island of sorcerers or magicians. It is about one third as large as the
+Isle of Wight, and extremely fruitful: it is governed by the head of a
+certain tribe, who are all magicians. This tribe marries only among
+each other, and the eldest in succession is prince or governor. He has
+a noble palace, and a park of about three thousand acres, surrounded by
+a wall of hewn stone twenty feet high. In this park are several small
+enclosures for cattle, corn, and gardening.
+
+The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics of a
+kind somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy he has a power of
+calling whom he pleases from the dead, and commanding their service for
+twenty-four hours, but no longer; nor can he call the same persons up
+again in less than three months, except upon very extraordinary
+occasions.
+
+When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the morning,
+one of the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the governor, and
+desired admittance for a stranger, who came on purpose to have the
+honour of attending on his highness. This was immediately granted, and
+we all three entered the gate of the palace between two rows of guards,
+armed and dressed after a very antic manner, and with something in
+their countenances that made my flesh creep with a horror I cannot
+express. We passed through several apartments, between servants of the
+same sort, ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber
+of presence; where, after three profound obeisances, and a few general
+questions, we were permitted to sit on three stools, near the lowest
+step of his highness’s throne. He understood the language of
+Balnibarbi, although it was different from that of this island. He
+desired me to give him some account of my travels; and, to let me see
+that I should be treated without ceremony, he dismissed all his
+attendants with a turn of his finger; at which, to my great
+astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions in a dream when
+we awake on a sudden. I could not recover myself in some time, till the
+governor assured me, “that I should receive no hurt;” and observing my
+two companions to be under no concern, who had been often entertained
+in the same manner, I began to take courage, and related to his
+highness a short history of my several adventures; yet not without some
+hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the place where I had
+seen those domestic spectres. I had the honour to dine with the
+governor, where a new set of ghosts served up the meat, and waited at
+table. I now observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in
+the morning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired his highness to
+excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace. My
+two friends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining, which
+is the capital of this little island; and the next morning we returned
+to pay our duty to the governor, as he was pleased to command us.
+
+After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most part of
+every day with the governor, and at night in our lodging. I soon grew
+so familiarized to the sight of spirits, that after the third or fourth
+time they gave me no emotion at all: or, if I had any apprehensions
+left, my curiosity prevailed over them. For his highness the governor
+ordered me “to call up whatever persons I would choose to name, and in
+whatever numbers, among all the dead from the beginning of the world to
+the present time, and command them to answer any questions I should
+think fit to ask; with this condition, that my questions must be
+confined within the compass of the times they lived in. And one thing I
+might depend upon, that they would certainly tell me the truth, for
+lying was a talent of no use in the lower world.”
+
+I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great a favour.
+We were in a chamber, from whence there was a fair prospect into the
+park. And because my first inclination was to be entertained with
+scenes of pomp and magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the Great
+at the head of his army, just after the battle of Arbela: which, upon a
+motion of the governor’s finger, immediately appeared in a large field,
+under the window where we stood. Alexander was called up into the room:
+it was with great difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but
+little of my own. He assured me upon his honour “that he was not
+poisoned, but died of a bad fever by excessive drinking.”
+
+Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me “he had not a drop
+of vinegar in his camp.”
+
+I saw Cæsar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to
+engage. I saw the former, in his last great triumph. I desired that the
+senate of Rome might appear before me, in one large chamber, and an
+assembly of somewhat a later age in counterview, in another. The first
+seemed to be an assembly of heroes and demigods; the other, a knot of
+pedlars, pick-pockets, highwaymen, and bullies.
+
+The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Cæsar and Brutus to
+advance towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at the
+sight of Brutus, and could easily discover the most consummate virtue,
+the greatest intrepidity and firmness of mind, the truest love of his
+country, and general benevolence for mankind, in every lineament of his
+countenance. I observed, with much pleasure, that these two persons
+were in good intelligence with each other; and Cæsar freely confessed
+to me, “that the greatest actions of his own life were not equal, by
+many degrees, to the glory of taking it away.” I had the honour to have
+much conversation with Brutus; and was told, “that his ancestor Junius,
+Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the younger, Sir Thomas More, and himself
+were perpetually together:” a sextumvirate, to which all the ages of
+the world cannot add a seventh.
+
+It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast
+numbers of illustrious persons were called up to gratify that
+insatiable desire I had to see the world in every period of antiquity
+placed before me. I chiefly fed my eyes with beholding the destroyers
+of tyrants and usurpers, and the restorers of liberty to oppressed and
+injured nations. But it is impossible to express the satisfaction I
+received in my own mind, after such a manner as to make it a suitable
+entertainment to the reader.
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history
+corrected.
+
+
+Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned for wit
+and learning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed that Homer and
+Aristotle might appear at the head of all their commentators; but these
+were so numerous, that some hundreds were forced to attend in the
+court, and outward rooms of the palace. I knew, and could distinguish
+those two heroes, at first sight, not only from the crowd, but from
+each other. Homer was the taller and comelier person of the two, walked
+very erect for one of his age, and his eyes were the most quick and
+piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a
+staff. His visage was meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice
+hollow. I soon discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to
+the rest of the company, and had never seen or heard of them before;
+and I had a whisper from a ghost who shall be nameless, “that these
+commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from their
+principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of shame and
+guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the meaning of those
+authors to posterity.” I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to Homer,
+and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they deserved,
+for he soon found they wanted a genius to enter into the spirit of a
+poet. But Aristotle was out of all patience with the account I gave him
+of Scotus and Ramus, as I presented them to him; and he asked them,
+“whether the rest of the tribe were as great dunces as themselves?”
+
+I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with
+whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This great
+philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural philosophy,
+because he proceeded in many things upon conjecture, as all men must
+do; and he found that Gassendi, who had made the doctrine of Epicurus
+as palatable as he could, and the _vortices_ of Descartes, were equally
+to be exploded. He predicted the same fate to _attraction_, whereof the
+present learned are such zealous asserters. He said, “that new systems
+of nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age; and
+even those, who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical
+principles, would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of
+vogue when that was determined.”
+
+I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient
+learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on the
+governor to call up Heliogabalus’s cooks to dress us a dinner, but they
+could not show us much of their skill, for want of materials. A helot
+of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, but I was not able to get
+down a second spoonful.
+
+The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed by
+their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in
+seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure, for
+two or three hundred years past, in our own and other countries of
+Europe; and having been always a great admirer of old illustrious
+families, I desired the governor would call up a dozen or two of kings,
+with their ancestors in order for eight or nine generations. But my
+disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead of a long
+train with royal diadems, I saw in one family two fiddlers, three
+spruce courtiers, and an Italian prelate. In another, a barber, an
+abbot, and two cardinals. I have too great a veneration for crowned
+heads, to dwell any longer on so nice a subject. But as to counts,
+marquises, dukes, earls, and the like, I was not so scrupulous. And I
+confess, it was not without some pleasure, that I found myself able to
+trace the particular features, by which certain families are
+distinguished, up to their originals. I could plainly discover whence
+one family derives a long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves
+for two generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be
+crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what
+Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, _Nec vir fortis_, _nec
+femina casta_; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice, grew to be
+characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as much as
+by their coats of arms; who first brought the pox into a noble house,
+which has lineally descended scrofulous tumours to their posterity.
+Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an interruption of
+lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers,
+players, captains, and pickpockets.
+
+I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly
+examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, for
+a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by
+prostitute writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to
+cowards; the wisest counsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers; Roman
+virtue, to betrayers of their country; piety, to atheists; chastity, to
+sodomites; truth, to informers: how many innocent and excellent persons
+had been condemned to death or banishment by the practising of great
+ministers upon the corruption of judges, and the malice of factions:
+how many villains had been exalted to the highest places of trust,
+power, dignity, and profit: how great a share in the motions and events
+of courts, councils, and senates might be challenged by bawds, whores,
+pimps, parasites, and buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human
+wisdom and integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and
+motives of great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the
+contemptible accidents to which they owed their success.
+
+Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to
+write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their
+graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a prince
+and chief minister, where no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and
+cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state; and have the
+perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the true causes
+of many great events that have surprised the world; how a whore can
+govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council, and the council a
+senate. A general confessed, in my presence, “that he got a victory
+purely by the force of cowardice and ill conduct;” and an admiral,
+“that, for want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy, to whom he
+intended to betray the fleet.” Three kings protested to me, “that in
+their whole reigns they never did once prefer any person of merit,
+unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they confided;
+neither would they do it if they were to live again:” and they showed,
+with great strength of reason, “that the royal throne could not be
+supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, restiff
+temper, which virtue infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public
+business.”
+
+I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what methods
+great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of honour, and
+prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a very modern period:
+however, without grating upon present times, because I would be sure to
+give no offence even to foreigners (for I hope the reader need not be
+told, that I do not in the least intend my own country, in what I say
+upon this occasion,) a great number of persons concerned were called
+up; and, upon a very slight examination, discovered such a scene of
+infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some seriousness.
+Perjury, oppression, subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like
+infirmities, were among the most excusable arts they had to mention;
+and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when
+some confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or
+incest; others, to the prostituting of their own wives and daughters;
+others, to the betraying of their country or their prince; some, to
+poisoning; more to the perverting of justice, in order to destroy the
+innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these discoveries inclined me a
+little to abate of that profound veneration, which I am naturally apt
+to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost
+respect due to their sublime dignity, by us their inferiors.
+
+I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, and
+desired to see the persons by whom those services were performed. Upon
+inquiry I was told, “that their names were to be found on no record,
+except a few of them, whom history has represented as the vilest of
+rogues and traitors.” As to the rest, I had never once heard of them.
+They all appeared with dejected looks, and in the meanest habit; most
+of them telling me, “they died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on
+a scaffold or a gibbet.”
+
+Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little
+singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his side.
+He told me, “he had for many years been commander of a ship; and in the
+sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break through the enemy’s
+great line of battle, sink three of their capital ships, and take a
+fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony’s flight, and of the victory
+that ensued; that the youth standing by him, his only son, was killed
+in the action.” He added, “that upon the confidence of some merit, the
+war being at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of
+Augustus to be preferred to a greater ship, whose commander had been
+killed; but, without any regard to his pretensions, it was given to a
+boy who had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one
+of the emperor’s mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was
+charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite page of
+Publicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to a poor farm at a
+great distance from Rome, and there ended his life.” I was so curious
+to know the truth of this story, that I desired Agrippa might be
+called, who was admiral in that fight. He appeared, and confirmed the
+whole account: but with much more advantage to the captain, whose
+modesty had extenuated or concealed a great part of his merit.
+
+I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in that
+empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which made me less
+wonder at many parallel cases in other countries, where vices of all
+kinds have reigned so much longer, and where the whole praise, as well
+as pillage, has been engrossed by the chief commander, who perhaps had
+the least title to either.
+
+As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had done
+in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe how much the
+race of humankind was degenerated among us within these hundred years
+past; how the pox, under all its consequences and denominations had
+altered every lineament of an English countenance; shortened the size
+of bodies, unbraced the nerves, relaxed the sinews and muscles,
+introduced a sallow complexion, and rendered the flesh loose and
+rancid.
+
+I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old stamp
+might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the simplicity of their
+manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their dealings; for their true
+spirit of liberty; for their valour, and love of their country. Neither
+could I be wholly unmoved, after comparing the living with the dead,
+when I considered how all these pure native virtues were prostituted
+for a piece of money by their grand-children; who, in selling their
+votes and managing at elections, have acquired every vice and
+corruption that can possibly be learned in a court.
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of Luggnagg. The
+author confined. He is sent for to court. The manner of his admittance.
+The king’s great lenity to his subjects.
+
+
+The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his highness, the
+Governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two companions to
+Maldonada, where, after a fortnight’s waiting, a ship was ready to sail
+for Luggnagg. The two gentlemen, and some others, were so generous and
+kind as to furnish me with provisions, and see me on board. I was a
+month in this voyage. We had one violent storm, and were under a
+necessity of steering westward to get into the trade wind, which holds
+for above sixty leagues. On the 21st of April, 1708, we sailed into the
+river of Clumegnig, which is a seaport town, at the south-east point of
+Luggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and made a signal
+for a pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an hour, by
+whom we were guided between certain shoals and rocks, which are very
+dangerous in the passage, to a large basin, where a fleet may ride in
+safety within a cable’s length of the town-wall.
+
+Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had
+informed the pilots “that I was a stranger, and great traveller;”
+whereof these gave notice to a custom-house officer, by whom I was
+examined very strictly upon my landing. This officer spoke to me in the
+language of Balnibarbi, which, by the force of much commerce, is
+generally understood in that town, especially by seamen and those
+employed in the customs. I gave him a short account of some
+particulars, and made my story as plausible and consistent as I could;
+but I thought it necessary to disguise my country, and call myself a
+Hollander; because my intentions were for Japan, and I knew the Dutch
+were the only Europeans permitted to enter into that kingdom. I
+therefore told the officer, “that having been shipwrecked on the coast
+of Balnibarbi, and cast on a rock, I was received up into Laputa, or
+the flying island (of which he had often heard), and was now
+endeavouring to get to Japan, whence I might find a convenience of
+returning to my own country.” The officer said, “I must be confined
+till he could receive orders from court, for which he would write
+immediately, and hoped to receive an answer in a fortnight.” I was
+carried to a convenient lodging with a sentry placed at the door;
+however, I had the liberty of a large garden, and was treated with
+humanity enough, being maintained all the time at the king’s charge. I
+was invited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it
+was reported that I came from countries very remote, of which they had
+never heard.
+
+I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an interpreter;
+he was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years at Maldonada, and
+was a perfect master of both languages. By his assistance, I was able
+to hold a conversation with those who came to visit me; but this
+consisted only of their questions, and my answers.
+
+The despatch came from court about the time we expected. It contained a
+warrant for conducting me and my retinue to _Traldragdubh_, or
+_Trildrogdrib_ (for it is pronounced both ways as near as I can
+remember), by a party of ten horse. All my retinue was that poor lad
+for an interpreter, whom I persuaded into my service, and, at my humble
+request, we had each of us a mule to ride on. A messenger was
+despatched half a day’s journey before us, to give the king notice of
+my approach, and to desire, “that his majesty would please to appoint a
+day and hour, when it would by his gracious pleasure that I might have
+the honour to lick the dust before his footstool.” This is the court
+style, and I found it to be more than matter of form: for, upon my
+admittance two days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon my
+belly, and lick the floor as I advanced; but, on account of my being a
+stranger, care was taken to have it made so clean, that the dust was
+not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not allowed to any
+but persons of the highest rank, when they desire an admittance. Nay,
+sometimes the floor is strewed with dust on purpose, when the person to
+be admitted happens to have powerful enemies at court; and I have seen
+a great lord with his mouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the
+proper distance from the throne; he was not able to speak a word.
+Neither is there any remedy; because it is capital for those who
+receive an audience to spit or wipe their mouths in his majesty’s
+presence. There is indeed another custom, which I cannot altogether
+approve of: when the king has a mind to put any of his nobles to death
+in a gentle indulgent manner, he commands the floor to be strewed with
+a certain brown powder of a deadly composition, which being licked up,
+infallibly kills him in twenty-four hours. But in justice to this
+prince’s great clemency, and the care he has of his subjects’ lives
+(wherein it were much to be wished that the Monarchs of Europe would
+imitate him), it must be mentioned for his honour, that strict orders
+are given to have the infected parts of the floor well washed after
+every such execution, which, if his domestics neglect, they are in
+danger of incurring his royal displeasure. I myself heard him give
+directions, that one of his pages should be whipped, whose turn it was
+to give notice about washing the floor after an execution, but
+maliciously had omitted it; by which neglect a young lord of great
+hopes, coming to an audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the
+king at that time had no design against his life. But this good prince
+was so gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise
+that he would do so no more, without special orders.
+
+To return from this digression. When I had crept within four yards of
+the throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then striking my
+forehead seven times against the ground, I pronounced the following
+words, as they had been taught me the night before, _Ickpling
+gloffthrobb squutserumm blhiop mlashnalt zwin tnodbalkguffh slhiophad
+gurdlubh asht_. This is the compliment, established by the laws of the
+land, for all persons admitted to the king’s presence. It may be
+rendered into English thus: “May your celestial majesty outlive the
+sun, eleven moons and a half!” To this the king returned some answer,
+which, although I could not understand, yet I replied as I had been
+directed: _Fluft drin yalerick dwuldom prastrad mirpush_, which
+properly signifies, “My tongue is in the mouth of my friend;” and by
+this expression was meant, that I desired leave to bring my
+interpreter; whereupon the young man already mentioned was accordingly
+introduced, by whose intervention I answered as many questions as his
+majesty could put in above an hour. I spoke in the Balnibarbian tongue,
+and my interpreter delivered my meaning in that of Luggnagg.
+
+The king was much delighted with my company, and ordered his
+_bliffmarklub_, or high-chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in the court
+for me and my interpreter; with a daily allowance for my table, and a
+large purse of gold for my common expenses.
+
+I staid three months in this country, out of perfect obedience to his
+majesty; who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very
+honourable offers. But I thought it more consistent with prudence and
+justice to pass the remainder of my days with my wife and family.
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+The Luggnaggians commended. A particular description of the
+Struldbrugs, with many conversations between the author and some
+eminent persons upon that subject.
+
+
+The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people; and although they
+are not without some share of that pride which is peculiar to all
+Eastern countries, yet they show themselves courteous to strangers,
+especially such who are countenanced by the court. I had many
+acquaintance, and among persons of the best fashion; and being always
+attended by my interpreter, the conversation we had was not
+disagreeable.
+
+One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of quality,
+“whether I had seen any of their _struldbrugs_, or immortals?” I said,
+“I had not;” and desired he would explain to me “what he meant by such
+an appellation, applied to a mortal creature.” He told me “that
+sometimes, though very rarely, a child happened to be born in a family,
+with a red circular spot in the forehead, directly over the left
+eyebrow, which was an infallible mark that it should never die.” The
+spot, as he described it, “was about the compass of a silver
+threepence, but in the course of time grew larger, and changed its
+colour; for at twelve years old it became green, so continued till five
+and twenty, then turned to a deep blue: at five and forty it grew coal
+black, and as large as an English shilling; but never admitted any
+further alteration.” He said, “these births were so rare, that he did
+not believe there could be above eleven hundred struldbrugs, of both
+sexes, in the whole kingdom; of which he computed about fifty in the
+metropolis, and, among the rest, a young girl born; about three years
+ago: that these productions were not peculiar to any family, but a mere
+effect of chance; and the children of the _struldbrugs_ themselves were
+equally mortal with the rest of the people.”
+
+I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible delight,
+upon hearing this account: and the person who gave it me happening to
+understand the Balnibarbian language, which I spoke very well, I could
+not forbear breaking out into expressions, perhaps a little too
+extravagant. I cried out, as in a rapture, “Happy nation, where every
+child hath at least a chance for being immortal! Happy people, who
+enjoy so many living examples of ancient virtue, and have masters ready
+to instruct them in the wisdom of all former ages! but happiest, beyond
+all comparison, are those excellent _struldbrugs_, who, being born
+exempt from that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds
+free and disengaged, without the weight and depression of spirits
+caused by the continual apprehensions of death!” I discovered my
+admiration, “that I had not observed any of these illustrious persons
+at court; the black spot on the forehead being so remarkable a
+distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: and it was
+impossible that his majesty, a most judicious prince, should not
+provide himself with a good number of such wise and able counsellors.
+Yet perhaps the virtue of those reverend sages was too strict for the
+corrupt and libertine manners of a court: and we often find by
+experience, that young men are too opinionated and volatile to be
+guided by the sober dictates of their seniors. However, since the king
+was pleased to allow me access to his royal person, I was resolved,
+upon the very first occasion, to deliver my opinion to him on this
+matter freely and at large, by the help of my interpreter; and whether
+he would please to take my advice or not, yet in one thing I was
+determined, that his majesty having frequently offered me an
+establishment in this country, I would, with great thankfulness, accept
+the favour, and pass my life here in the conversation of those superior
+beings the _struldbrugs_, if they would please to admit me.”
+
+The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I have
+already observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said to me, with
+a sort of a smile which usually arises from pity to the ignorant, “that
+he was glad of any occasion to keep me among them, and desired my
+permission to explain to the company what I had spoke.” He did so, and
+they talked together for some time in their own language, whereof I
+understood not a syllable, neither could I observe by their
+countenances, what impression my discourse had made on them. After a
+short silence, the same person told me, “that his friends and mine (so
+he thought fit to express himself) were very much pleased with the
+judicious remarks I had made on the great happiness and advantages of
+immortal life, and they were desirous to know, in a particular manner,
+what scheme of living I should have formed to myself, if it had fallen
+to my lot to have been born a _struldbrug_.”
+
+I answered, “it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and delightful a
+subject, especially to me, who had been often apt to amuse myself with
+visions of what I should do, if I were a king, a general, or a great
+lord: and upon this very case, I had frequently run over the whole
+system how I should employ myself, and pass the time, if I were sure to
+live for ever.
+
+“That, if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a
+_struldbrug_, as soon as I could discover my own happiness, by
+understanding the difference between life and death, I would first
+resolve, by all arts and methods, whatsoever, to procure myself riches.
+In the pursuit of which, by thrift and management, I might reasonably
+expect, in about two hundred years, to be the wealthiest man in the
+kingdom. In the second place, I would, from my earliest youth, apply
+myself to the study of arts and sciences, by which I should arrive in
+time to excel all others in learning. Lastly, I would carefully record
+every action and event of consequence, that happened in the public,
+impartially draw the characters of the several successions of princes
+and great ministers of state, with my own observations on every point.
+I would exactly set down the several changes in customs, language,
+fashions of dress, diet, and diversions. By all which acquirements, I
+should be a living treasure of knowledge and wisdom, and certainly
+become the oracle of the nation.
+
+“I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable manner,
+yet still on the saving side. I would entertain myself in forming and
+directing the minds of hopeful young men, by convincing them, from my
+own remembrance, experience, and observation, fortified by numerous
+examples, of the usefulness of virtue in public and private life. But
+my choice and constant companions should be a set of my own immortal
+brotherhood; among whom, I would elect a dozen from the most ancient,
+down to my own contemporaries. Where any of these wanted fortunes, I
+would provide them with convenient lodges round my own estate, and have
+some of them always at my table; only mingling a few of the most
+valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would harden me to lose
+with little or no reluctance, and treat your posterity after the same
+manner; just as a man diverts himself with the annual succession of
+pinks and tulips in his garden, without regretting the loss of those
+which withered the preceding year.
+
+“These _struldbrugs_ and I would mutually communicate our observations
+and memorials, through the course of time; remark the several
+gradations by which corruption steals into the world, and oppose it in
+every step, by giving perpetual warning and instruction to mankind;
+which, added to the strong influence of our own example, would probably
+prevent that continual degeneracy of human nature so justly complained
+of in all ages.
+
+“Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of states
+and empires; the changes in the lower and upper world; ancient cities
+in ruins, and obscure villages become the seats of kings; famous rivers
+lessening into shallow brooks; the ocean leaving one coast dry, and
+overwhelming another; the discovery of many countries yet unknown;
+barbarity overrunning the politest nations, and the most barbarous
+become civilized. I should then see the discovery of the longitude, the
+perpetual motion, the universal medicine, and many other great
+inventions, brought to the utmost perfection.
+
+“What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by outliving
+and confirming our own predictions; by observing the progress and
+return of comets, with the changes of motion in the sun, moon, and
+stars!”
+
+I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of endless
+life, and sublunary happiness, could easily furnish me with. When I had
+ended, and the sum of my discourse had been interpreted, as before, to
+the rest of the company, there was a good deal of talk among them in
+the language of the country, not without some laughter at my expense.
+At last, the same gentleman who had been my interpreter, said, “he was
+desired by the rest to set me right in a few mistakes, which I had
+fallen into through the common imbecility of human nature, and upon
+that allowance was less answerable for them. That this breed of
+_struldbrugs_ was peculiar to their country, for there were no such
+people either in Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the honour to be
+ambassador from his majesty, and found the natives in both those
+kingdoms very hard to believe that the fact was possible: and it
+appeared from my astonishment when he first mentioned the matter to me,
+that I received it as a thing wholly new, and scarcely to be credited.
+That in the two kingdoms above mentioned, where, during his residence,
+he had conversed very much, he observed long life to be the universal
+desire and wish of mankind. That whoever had one foot in the grave was
+sure to hold back the other as strongly as he could. That the oldest
+had still hopes of living one day longer, and looked on death as the
+greatest evil, from which nature always prompted him to retreat. Only
+in this island of Luggnagg the appetite for living was not so eager,
+from the continual example of the _struldbrugs_ before their eyes.
+
+“That the system of living contrived by me, was unreasonable and
+unjust; because it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and vigour,
+which no man could be so foolish to hope, however extravagant he may be
+in his wishes. That the question therefore was not, whether a man would
+choose to be always in the prime of youth, attended with prosperity and
+health; but how he would pass a perpetual life under all the usual
+disadvantages which old age brings along with it. For although few men
+will avow their desires of being immortal, upon such hard conditions,
+yet in the two kingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and Japan, he
+observed that every man desired to put off death some time longer, let
+it approach ever so late: and he rarely heard of any man who died
+willingly, except he were incited by the extremity of grief or torture.
+And he appealed to me, whether in those countries I had travelled, as
+well as my own, I had not observed the same general disposition.”
+
+After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the
+_struldbrugs_ among them. He said, “they commonly acted like mortals
+till about thirty years old; after which, by degrees, they grew
+melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they came to
+fourscore. This he learned from their own confession: for otherwise,
+there not being above two or three of that species born in an age, they
+were too few to form a general observation by. When they came to
+fourscore years, which is reckoned the extremity of living in this
+country, they had not only all the follies and infirmities of other old
+men, but many more which arose from the dreadful prospect of never
+dying. They were not only opinionative, peevish, covetous, morose,
+vain, talkative, but incapable of friendship, and dead to all natural
+affection, which never descended below their grandchildren. Envy and
+impotent desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects
+against which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices of
+the younger sort and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the
+former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of pleasure;
+and whenever they see a funeral, they lament and repine that others
+have gone to a harbour of rest to which they themselves never can hope
+to arrive. They have no remembrance of anything but what they learned
+and observed in their youth and middle-age, and even that is very
+imperfect; and for the truth or particulars of any fact, it is safer to
+depend on common tradition, than upon their best recollections. The
+least miserable among them appear to be those who turn to dotage, and
+entirely lose their memories; these meet with more pity and assistance,
+because they want many bad qualities which abound in others.
+
+“If a _struldbrug_ happen to marry one of his own kind, the marriage is
+dissolved of course, by the courtesy of the kingdom, as soon as the
+younger of the two comes to be fourscore; for the law thinks it a
+reasonable indulgence, that those who are condemned, without any fault
+of their own, to a perpetual continuance in the world, should not have
+their misery doubled by the load of a wife.
+
+“As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they are
+looked on as dead in law; their heirs immediately succeed to their
+estates; only a small pittance is reserved for their support; and the
+poor ones are maintained at the public charge. After that period, they
+are held incapable of any employment of trust or profit; they cannot
+purchase lands, or take leases; neither are they allowed to be
+witnesses in any cause, either civil or criminal, not even for the
+decision of meers and bounds.
+
+“At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age no
+distinction of taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, without
+relish or appetite. The diseases they were subject to still continue,
+without increasing or diminishing. In talking, they forget the common
+appellation of things, and the names of persons, even of those who are
+their nearest friends and relations. For the same reason, they never
+can amuse themselves with reading, because their memory will not serve
+to carry them from the beginning of a sentence to the end; and by this
+defect, they are deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might
+otherwise be capable.
+
+“The language of this country being always upon the flux, the
+_struldbrugs_ of one age do not understand those of another; neither
+are they able, after two hundred years, to hold any conversation
+(farther than by a few general words) with their neighbours the
+mortals; and thus they lie under the disadvantage of living like
+foreigners in their own country.”
+
+This was the account given me of the _struldbrugs_, as near as I can
+remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different ages, the youngest
+not above two hundred years old, who were brought to me at several
+times by some of my friends; but although they were told, “that I was a
+great traveller, and had seen all the world,” they had not the least
+curiosity to ask me a question; only desired “I would give them
+_slumskudask_,” or a token of remembrance; which is a modest way of
+begging, to avoid the law, that strictly forbids it, because they are
+provided for by the public, although indeed with a very scanty
+allowance.
+
+They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of them is
+born, it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded very
+particularly so that you may know their age by consulting the register,
+which, however, has not been kept above a thousand years past, or at
+least has been destroyed by time or public disturbances. But the usual
+way of computing how old they are, is by asking them what kings or
+great persons they can remember, and then consulting history; for
+infallibly the last prince in their mind did not begin his reign after
+they were fourscore years old.
+
+They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and the women more
+horrible than the men. Besides the usual deformities in extreme old
+age, they acquired an additional ghastliness, in proportion to their
+number of years, which is not to be described; and among half a dozen,
+I soon distinguished which was the eldest, although there was not above
+a century or two between them.
+
+The reader will easily believe, that from what I had heard and seen, my
+keen appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew heartily
+ashamed of the pleasing visions I had formed; and thought no tyrant
+could invent a death into which I would not run with pleasure, from
+such a life. The king heard of all that had passed between me and my
+friends upon this occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly; wishing I
+could send a couple of _struldbrugs_ to my own country, to arm our
+people against the fear of death; but this, it seems, is forbidden by
+the fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I should have been well
+content with the trouble and expense of transporting them.
+
+I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom relative to the
+_struldbrugs_ were founded upon the strongest reasons, and such as any
+other country would be under the necessity of enacting, in the like
+circumstances. Otherwise, as avarice is the necessary consequence of
+old age, those immortals would in time become proprietors of the whole
+nation, and engross the civil power, which, for want of abilities to
+manage, must end in the ruin of the public.
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+The author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he returns
+in a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England.
+
+
+I thought this account of the _struldbrugs_ might be some entertainment
+to the reader, because it seems to be a little out of the common way;
+at least I do not remember to have met the like in any book of travels
+that has come to my hands; and if I am deceived, my excuse must be,
+that it is necessary for travellers who describe the same country, very
+often to agree in dwelling on the same particulars, without deserving
+the censure of having borrowed or transcribed from those who wrote
+before them.
+
+There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and the great
+empire of Japan; and it is very probable, that the Japanese authors may
+have given some account of the _struldbrugs_; but my stay in Japan was
+so short, and I was so entirely a stranger to the language, that I was
+not qualified to make any inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this
+notice, will be curious and able enough to supply my defects.
+
+His majesty having often pressed me to accept some employment in his
+court, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my native
+country, was pleased to give me his license to depart; and honoured me
+with a letter of recommendation, under his own hand, to the Emperor of
+Japan. He likewise presented me with four hundred and forty-four large
+pieces of gold (this nation delighting in even numbers), and a red
+diamond, which I sold in England for eleven hundred pounds.
+
+On the 6th day of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty, and
+all my friends. This prince was so gracious as to order a guard to
+conduct me to Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the south-west
+part of the island. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry me to
+Japan, and spent fifteen days in the voyage. We landed at a small
+port-town called Xamoschi, situated on the south-east part of Japan;
+the town lies on the western point, where there is a narrow strait
+leading northward into a long arm of the sea, upon the north-west part
+of which, Yedo, the metropolis, stands. At landing, I showed the
+custom-house officers my letter from the king of Luggnagg to his
+imperial majesty. They knew the seal perfectly well; it was as broad as
+the palm of my hand. The impression was, _A king lifting up a lame
+beggar from the earth_. The magistrates of the town, hearing of my
+letter, received me as a public minister. They provided me with
+carriages and servants, and bore my charges to Yedo; where I was
+admitted to an audience, and delivered my letter, which was opened with
+great ceremony, and explained to the Emperor by an interpreter, who
+then gave me notice, by his majesty’s order, “that I should signify my
+request, and, whatever it were, it should be granted, for the sake of
+his royal brother of Luggnagg.” This interpreter was a person employed
+to transact affairs with the Hollanders. He soon conjectured, by my
+countenance, that I was a European, and therefore repeated his
+majesty’s commands in Low Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I
+answered, as I had before determined, “that I was a Dutch merchant,
+shipwrecked in a very remote country, whence I had travelled by sea and
+land to Luggnagg, and then took shipping for Japan; where I knew my
+countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an
+opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly entreated
+his royal favour, to give order that I should be conducted in safety to
+Nangasac.” To this I added another petition, “that for the sake of my
+patron the king of Luggnagg, his majesty would condescend to excuse my
+performing the ceremony imposed on my countrymen, of trampling upon the
+crucifix, because I had been thrown into his kingdom by my misfortunes,
+without any intention of trading.” When this latter petition was
+interpreted to the Emperor, he seemed a little surprised; and said, “he
+believed I was the first of my countrymen who ever made any scruple in
+this point; and that he began to doubt, whether I was a real Hollander,
+or not; but rather suspected I must be a Christian. However, for the
+reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the king of Luggnagg by
+an uncommon mark of his favour, he would comply with the singularity of
+my humour; but the affair must be managed with dexterity, and his
+officers should be commanded to let me pass, as it were by
+forgetfulness. For he assured me, that if the secret should be
+discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they would cut my throat in the
+voyage.” I returned my thanks, by the interpreter, for so unusual a
+favour; and some troops being at that time on their march to Nangasac,
+the commanding officer had orders to convey me safe thither, with
+particular instructions about the business of the crucifix.
+
+On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very long
+and troublesome journey. I soon fell into the company of some Dutch
+sailors belonging to the Amboyna, of Amsterdam, a stout ship of 450
+tons. I had lived long in Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden, and I
+spoke Dutch well. The seamen soon knew from whence I came last: they
+were curious to inquire into my voyages and course of life. I made up a
+story as short and probable as I could, but concealed the greatest
+part. I knew many persons in Holland. I was able to invent names for my
+parents, whom I pretended to be obscure people in the province of
+Gelderland. I would have given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult)
+what he pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland; but understanding I
+was a surgeon, he was contented to take half the usual rate, on
+condition that I would serve him in the way of my calling. Before we
+took shipping, I was often asked by some of the crew, whether I had
+performed the ceremony above mentioned. I evaded the question by
+general answers; “that I had satisfied the Emperor and court in all
+particulars.” However, a malicious rogue of a skipper went to an
+officer, and pointing to me, told him, “I had not yet trampled on the
+crucifix;” but the other, who had received instructions to let me pass,
+gave the rascal twenty strokes on the shoulders with a bamboo; after
+which I was no more troubled with such questions.
+
+Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed with a fair
+wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we staid only to take in fresh
+water. On the 10th of April, 1710, we arrived safe at Amsterdam, having
+lost only three men by sickness in the voyage, and a fourth, who fell
+from the foremast into the sea, not far from the coast of Guinea. From
+Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in a small vessel
+belonging to that city.
+
+On the 16th of April, 1710, we put in at the Downs. I landed next
+morning, and saw once more my native country, after an absence of five
+years and six months complete. I went straight to Redriff, where I
+arrived the same day at two in the afternoon, and found my wife and
+family in good health.
+
+
+PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against him,
+confine him a long time to his cabin, and set him on shore in an
+unknown land. He travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a strange
+sort of animal, described. The author meets two Houyhnhnms.
+
+
+I continued at home with my wife and children about five months in a
+very happy condition, if I could have learned the lesson of knowing
+when I was well. I left my poor wife big with child, and accepted an
+advantageous offer made me to be captain of the Adventurer, a stout
+merchantman of 350 tons: for I understood navigation well, and being
+grown weary of a surgeon’s employment at sea, which, however, I could
+exercise upon occasion, I took a skilful young man of that calling, one
+Robert Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the 7th
+day of August, 1710; on the 14th we met with Captain Pocock, of
+Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was going to the bay of Campechy to cut
+logwood. On the 16th, he was parted from us by a storm; I heard since
+my return, that his ship foundered, and none escaped but one cabin boy.
+He was an honest man, and a good sailor, but a little too positive in
+his own opinions, which was the cause of his destruction, as it has
+been with several others; for if he had followed my advice, he might
+have been safe at home with his family at this time, as well as myself.
+
+I had several men who died in my ship of calentures, so that I was
+forced to get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward Islands, where
+I touched, by the direction of the merchants who employed me; which I
+had soon too much cause to repent: for I found afterwards, that most of
+them had been buccaneers. I had fifty hands on board; and my orders
+were, that I should trade with the Indians in the South-Sea, and make
+what discoveries I could. These rogues, whom I had picked up, debauched
+my other men, and they all formed a conspiracy to seize the ship, and
+secure me; which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin, and
+binding me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard, if I
+offered to stir. I told them, “I was their prisoner, and would submit.”
+This they made me swear to do, and then they unbound me, only fastening
+one of my legs with a chain, near my bed, and placed a sentry at my
+door with his piece charged, who was commanded to shoot me dead if I
+attempted my liberty. They sent me down victuals and drink, and took
+the government of the ship to themselves. Their design was to turn
+pirates, and plunder the Spaniards, which they could not do till they
+got more men. But first they resolved to sell the goods in the ship,
+and then go to Madagascar for recruits, several among them having died
+since my confinement. They sailed many weeks, and traded with the
+Indians; but I knew not what course they took, being kept a close
+prisoner in my cabin, and expecting nothing less than to be murdered,
+as they often threatened me.
+
+Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to my cabin,
+and said, “he had orders from the captain to set me ashore.” I
+expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me
+who their new captain was. They forced me into the long-boat, letting
+me put on my best suit of clothes, which were as good as new, and take
+a small bundle of linen, but no arms, except my hanger; and they were
+so civil as not to search my pockets, into which I conveyed what money
+I had, with some other little necessaries. They rowed about a league,
+and then set me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me what
+country it was. They all swore, “they knew no more than myself;” but
+said, “that the captain” (as they called him) “was resolved, after they
+had sold the lading, to get rid of me in the first place where they
+could discover land.” They pushed off immediately, advising me to make
+haste for fear of being overtaken by the tide, and so bade me farewell.
+
+In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon firm
+ground, where I sat down on a bank to rest myself, and consider what I
+had best do. When I was a little refreshed, I went up into the country,
+resolving to deliver myself to the first savages I should meet, and
+purchase my life from them by some bracelets, glass rings, and other
+toys, which sailors usually provide themselves with in those voyages,
+and whereof I had some about me. The land was divided by long rows of
+trees, not regularly planted, but naturally growing; there was great
+plenty of grass, and several fields of oats. I walked very
+circumspectly, for fear of being surprised, or suddenly shot with an
+arrow from behind, or on either side. I fell into a beaten road, where
+I saw many tracts of human feet, and some of cows, but most of horses.
+At last I beheld several animals in a field, and one or two of the same
+kind sitting in trees. Their shape was very singular and deformed,
+which a little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a thicket to
+observe them better. Some of them coming forward near the place where I
+lay, gave me an opportunity of distinctly marking their form. Their
+heads and breasts were covered with a thick hair, some frizzled, and
+others lank; they had beards like goats, and a long ridge of hair down
+their backs, and the fore parts of their legs and feet; but the rest of
+their bodies was bare, so that I might see their skins, which were of a
+brown buff colour. They had no tails, nor any hair at all on their
+buttocks, except about the anus, which, I presume, nature had placed
+there to defend them as they sat on the ground, for this posture they
+used, as well as lying down, and often stood on their hind feet. They
+climbed high trees as nimbly as a squirrel, for they had strong
+extended claws before and behind, terminating in sharp points, and
+hooked. They would often spring, and bound, and leap, with prodigious
+agility. The females were not so large as the males; they had long lank
+hair on their heads, but none on their faces, nor any thing more than a
+sort of down on the rest of their bodies, except about the anus and
+pudenda. The dugs hung between their forefeet, and often reached almost
+to the ground as they walked. The hair of both sexes was of several
+colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon the whole, I never beheld,
+in all my travels, so disagreeable an animal, or one against which I
+naturally conceived so strong an antipathy. So that, thinking I had
+seen enough, full of contempt and aversion, I got up, and pursued the
+beaten road, hoping it might direct me to the cabin of some Indian. I
+had not got far, when I met one of these creatures full in my way, and
+coming up directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw me, distorted
+several ways, every feature of his visage, and stared, as at an object
+he had never seen before; then approaching nearer, lifted up his
+fore-paw, whether out of curiosity or mischief I could not tell; but I
+drew my hanger, and gave him a good blow with the flat side of it, for
+I durst not strike with the edge, fearing the inhabitants might be
+provoked against me, if they should come to know that I had killed or
+maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt the smart, he drew
+back, and roared so loud, that a herd of at least forty came flocking
+about me from the next field, howling and making odious faces; but I
+ran to the body of a tree, and leaning my back against it, kept them
+off by waving my hanger. Several of this cursed brood, getting hold of
+the branches behind, leaped up into the tree, whence they began to
+discharge their excrements on my head; however, I escaped pretty well
+by sticking close to the stem of the tree, but was almost stifled with
+the filth, which fell about me on every side.
+
+In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on a
+sudden as fast as they could; at which I ventured to leave the tree and
+pursue the road, wondering what it was that could put them into this
+fright. But looking on my left hand, I saw a horse walking softly in
+the field; which my persecutors having sooner discovered, was the cause
+of their flight. The horse started a little, when he came near me, but
+soon recovering himself, looked full in my face with manifest tokens of
+wonder; he viewed my hands and feet, walking round me several times. I
+would have pursued my journey, but he placed himself directly in the
+way, yet looking with a very mild aspect, never offering the least
+violence. We stood gazing at each other for some time; at last I took
+the boldness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to stroke
+it, using the common style and whistle of jockeys, when they are going
+to handle a strange horse. But this animal seemed to receive my
+civilities with disdain, shook his head, and bent his brows, softly
+raising up his right fore-foot to remove my hand. Then he neighed three
+or four times, but in so different a cadence, that I almost began to
+think he was speaking to himself, in some language of his own.
+
+While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up; who applying
+himself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently struck each
+other’s right hoof before, neighing several times by turns, and varying
+the sound, which seemed to be almost articulate. They went some paces
+off, as if it were to confer together, walking side by side, backward
+and forward, like persons deliberating upon some affair of weight, but
+often turning their eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might
+not escape. I was amazed to see such actions and behaviour in brute
+beasts; and concluded with myself, that if the inhabitants of this
+country were endued with a proportionable degree of reason, they must
+needs be the wisest people upon earth. This thought gave me so much
+comfort, that I resolved to go forward, until I could discover some
+house or village, or meet with any of the natives, leaving the two
+horses to discourse together as they pleased. But the first, who was a
+dapple gray, observing me to steal off, neighed after me in so
+expressive a tone, that I fancied myself to understand what he meant;
+whereupon I turned back, and came near to him to expect his farther
+commands: but concealing my fear as much as I could, for I began to be
+in some pain how this adventure might terminate; and the reader will
+easily believe I did not much like my present situation.
+
+The two horses came up close to me, looking with great earnestness upon
+my face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my hat all round with his
+right fore-hoof, and discomposed it so much that I was forced to adjust
+it better by taking it off and settling it again; whereat, both he and
+his companion (who was a brown bay) appeared to be much surprised: the
+latter felt the lappet of my coat, and finding it to hang loose about
+me, they both looked with new signs of wonder. He stroked my right
+hand, seeming to admire the softness and colour; but he squeezed it so
+hard between his hoof and his pastern, that I was forced to roar; after
+which they both touched me with all possible tenderness. They were
+under great perplexity about my shoes and stockings, which they felt
+very often, neighing to each other, and using various gestures, not
+unlike those of a philosopher, when he would attempt to solve some new
+and difficult phenomenon.
+
+Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so orderly and
+rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they must
+needs be magicians, who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some
+design, and seeing a stranger in the way, resolved to divert themselves
+with him; or, perhaps, were really amazed at the sight of a man so very
+different in habit, feature, and complexion, from those who might
+probably live in so remote a climate. Upon the strength of this
+reasoning, I ventured to address them in the following manner:
+“Gentlemen, if you be conjurers, as I have good cause to believe, you
+can understand my language; therefore I make bold to let your worships
+know that I am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes
+upon your coast; and I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his back,
+as if he were a real horse, to some house or village where I can be
+relieved. In return of which favour, I will make you a present of this
+knife and bracelet,” taking them out of my pocket. The two creatures
+stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great attention, and
+when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards each other, as if
+they were engaged in serious conversation. I plainly observed that
+their language expressed the passions very well, and the words might,
+with little pains, be resolved into an alphabet more easily than the
+Chinese.
+
+I could frequently distinguish the word _Yahoo_, which was repeated by
+each of them several times: and although it was impossible for me to
+conjecture what it meant, yet while the two horses were busy in
+conversation, I endeavoured to practise this word upon my tongue; and
+as soon as they were silent, I boldly pronounced _Yahoo_ in a loud
+voice, imitating at the same time, as near as I could, the neighing of
+a horse; at which they were both visibly surprised; and the gray
+repeated the same word twice, as if he meant to teach me the right
+accent; wherein I spoke after him as well as I could, and found myself
+perceivably to improve every time, though very far from any degree of
+perfection. Then the bay tried me with a second word, much harder to be
+pronounced; but reducing it to the English orthography, may be spelt
+thus, _Houyhnhnm_. I did not succeed in this so well as in the former;
+but after two or three farther trials, I had better fortune; and they
+both appeared amazed at my capacity.
+
+After some further discourse, which I then conjectured might relate to
+me, the two friends took their leaves, with the same compliment of
+striking each other’s hoof; and the gray made me signs that I should
+walk before him; wherein I thought it prudent to comply, till I could
+find a better director. When I offered to slacken my pace, he would cry
+_hhuun hhuun_: I guessed his meaning, and gave him to understand, as
+well as I could, “that I was weary, and not able to walk faster;” upon
+which he would stand a while to let me rest.
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+The author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house described.
+The author’s reception. The food of the Houyhnhnms. The author in
+distress for want of meat, is at last relieved. His manner of feeding
+in this country.
+
+
+Having travelled about three miles, we came to a long kind of building,
+made of timber stuck in the ground, and wattled across; the roof was
+low and covered with straw. I now began to be a little comforted; and
+took out some toys, which travellers usually carry for presents to the
+savage Indians of America, and other parts, in hopes the people of the
+house would be thereby encouraged to receive me kindly. The horse made
+me a sign to go in first; it was a large room with a smooth clay floor,
+and a rack and manger, extending the whole length on one side. There
+were three nags and two mares, not eating, but some of them sitting
+down upon their hams, which I very much wondered at; but wondered more
+to see the rest employed in domestic business; these seemed but
+ordinary cattle. However, this confirmed my first opinion, that a
+people who could so far civilize brute animals, must needs excel in
+wisdom all the nations of the world. The gray came in just after, and
+thereby prevented any ill treatment which the others might have given
+me. He neighed to them several times in a style of authority, and
+received answers.
+
+Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the length of the
+house, to which you passed through three doors, opposite to each other,
+in the manner of a vista. We went through the second room towards the
+third. Here the gray walked in first, beckoning me to attend: I waited
+in the second room, and got ready my presents for the master and
+mistress of the house; they were two knives, three bracelets of false
+pearls, a small looking-glass, and a bead necklace. The horse neighed
+three or four times, and I waited to hear some answers in a human
+voice, but I heard no other returns than in the same dialect, only one
+or two a little shriller than his. I began to think that this house
+must belong to some person of great note among them, because there
+appeared so much ceremony before I could gain admittance. But, that a
+man of quality should be served all by horses, was beyond my
+comprehension. I feared my brain was disturbed by my sufferings and
+misfortunes. I roused myself, and looked about me in the room where I
+was left alone: this was furnished like the first, only after a more
+elegant manner. I rubbed my eyes often, but the same objects still
+occurred. I pinched my arms and sides to awake myself, hoping I might
+be in a dream. I then absolutely concluded, that all these appearances
+could be nothing else but necromancy and magic. But I had no time to
+pursue these reflections; for the gray horse came to the door, and made
+me a sign to follow him into the third room where I saw a very comely
+mare, together with a colt and foal, sitting on their haunches upon
+mats of straw, not unartfully made, and perfectly neat and clean.
+
+The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming up close,
+after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave me a most
+contemptuous look; and turning to the horse, I heard the word _Yahoo_
+often repeated betwixt them; the meaning of which word I could not then
+comprehend, although it was the first I had learned to pronounce. But I
+was soon better informed, to my everlasting mortification; for the
+horse, beckoning to me with his head, and repeating the _hhuun_,
+_hhuun_, as he did upon the road, which I understood was to attend him,
+led me out into a kind of court, where was another building, at some
+distance from the house. Here we entered, and I saw three of those
+detestable creatures, which I first met after my landing, feeding upon
+roots, and the flesh of some animals, which I afterwards found to be
+that of asses and dogs, and now and then a cow, dead by accident or
+disease. They were all tied by the neck with strong withes, fastened to
+a beam; they held their food between the claws of their forefeet, and
+tore it with their teeth.
+
+The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie
+the largest of these animals, and take him into the yard. The beast and
+I were brought close together, and by our countenances diligently
+compared both by master and servant, who thereupon repeated several
+times the word _Yahoo_. My horror and astonishment are not to be
+described, when I observed in this abominable animal, a perfect human
+figure: the face of it indeed was flat and broad, the nose depressed,
+the lips large, and the mouth wide; but these differences are common to
+all savage nations, where the lineaments of the countenance are
+distorted, by the natives suffering their infants to lie grovelling on
+the earth, or by carrying them on their backs, nuzzling with their face
+against the mothers’ shoulders. The forefeet of the _Yahoo_ differed
+from my hands in nothing else but the length of the nails, the
+coarseness and brownness of the palms, and the hairiness on the backs.
+There was the same resemblance between our feet, with the same
+differences; which I knew very well, though the horses did not, because
+of my shoes and stockings; the same in every part of our bodies except
+as to hairiness and colour, which I have already described.
+
+The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses, was to
+see the rest of my body so very different from that of a _Yahoo_, for
+which I was obliged to my clothes, whereof they had no conception. The
+sorrel nag offered me a root, which he held (after their manner, as we
+shall describe in its proper place) between his hoof and pastern; I
+took it in my hand, and, having smelt it, returned it to him again as
+civilly as I could. He brought out of the _Yahoos_’ kennel a piece of
+ass’s flesh; but it smelt so offensively that I turned from it with
+loathing: he then threw it to the _Yahoo_, by whom it was greedily
+devoured. He afterwards showed me a wisp of hay, and a fetlock full of
+oats; but I shook my head, to signify that neither of these were food
+for me. And indeed I now apprehended that I must absolutely starve, if
+I did not get to some of my own species; for as to those filthy
+_Yahoos_, although there were few greater lovers of mankind at that
+time than myself, yet I confess I never saw any sensitive being so
+detestable on all accounts; and the more I came near them the more
+hateful they grew, while I stayed in that country. This the master
+horse observed by my behaviour, and therefore sent the _Yahoo_ back to
+his kennel. He then put his fore-hoof to his mouth, at which I was much
+surprised, although he did it with ease, and with a motion that
+appeared perfectly natural, and made other signs, to know what I would
+eat; but I could not return him such an answer as he was able to
+apprehend; and if he had understood me, I did not see how it was
+possible to contrive any way for finding myself nourishment. While we
+were thus engaged, I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I pointed to
+her, and expressed a desire to go and milk her. This had its effect;
+for he led me back into the house, and ordered a mare-servant to open a
+room, where a good store of milk lay in earthen and wooden vessels,
+after a very orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a large bowlful,
+of which I drank very heartily, and found myself well refreshed.
+
+About noon, I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle drawn like
+a sledge by four _Yahoos_. There was in it an old steed, who seemed to
+be of quality; he alighted with his hind-feet forward, having by
+accident got a hurt in his left fore-foot. He came to dine with our
+horse, who received him with great civility. They dined in the best
+room, and had oats boiled in milk for the second course, which the old
+horse ate warm, but the rest cold. Their mangers were placed circular
+in the middle of the room, and divided into several partitions, round
+which they sat on their haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle
+was a large rack, with angles answering to every partition of the
+manger; so that each horse and mare ate their own hay, and their own
+mash of oats and milk, with much decency and regularity. The behaviour
+of the young colt and foal appeared very modest, and that of the master
+and mistress extremely cheerful and complaisant to their guest. The
+gray ordered me to stand by him; and much discourse passed between him
+and his friend concerning me, as I found by the stranger’s often
+looking on me, and the frequent repetition of the word _Yahoo_.
+
+I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing, seemed
+perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done to my forefeet.
+He put his hoof three or four times to them, as if he would signify,
+that I should reduce them to their former shape, which I presently did,
+pulling off both my gloves, and putting them into my pocket. This
+occasioned farther talk; and I saw the company was pleased with my
+behaviour, whereof I soon found the good effects. I was ordered to
+speak the few words I understood; and while they were at dinner, the
+master taught me the names for oats, milk, fire, water, and some
+others, which I could readily pronounce after him, having from my youth
+a great facility in learning languages.
+
+When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside, and by signs and
+words made me understand the concern he was in that I had nothing to
+eat. Oats in their tongue are called _hlunnh_. This word I pronounced
+two or three times; for although I had refused them at first, yet, upon
+second thoughts, I considered that I could contrive to make of them a
+kind of bread, which might be sufficient, with milk, to keep me alive,
+till I could make my escape to some other country, and to creatures of
+my own species. The horse immediately ordered a white mare servant of
+his family to bring me a good quantity of oats in a sort of wooden
+tray. These I heated before the fire, as well as I could, and rubbed
+them till the husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the
+grain. I ground and beat them between two stones; then took water, and
+made them into a paste or cake, which I toasted at the fire and eat
+warm with milk. It was at first a very insipid diet, though common
+enough in many parts of Europe, but grew tolerable by time; and having
+been often reduced to hard fare in my life, this was not the first
+experiment I had made how easily nature is satisfied. And I cannot but
+observe, that I never had one hour’s sickness while I stayed in this
+island. It is true, I sometimes made a shift to catch a rabbit, or
+bird, by springs made of _Yahoo’s_ hairs; and I often gathered
+wholesome herbs, which I boiled, and ate as salads with my bread; and
+now and then, for a rarity, I made a little butter, and drank the whey.
+I was at first at a great loss for salt, but custom soon reconciled me
+to the want of it; and I am confident that the frequent use of salt
+among us is an effect of luxury, and was first introduced only as a
+provocative to drink, except where it is necessary for preserving flesh
+in long voyages, or in places remote from great markets; for we observe
+no animal to be fond of it but man, and as to myself, when I left this
+country, it was a great while before I could endure the taste of it in
+anything that I ate.
+
+This is enough to say upon the subject of my diet, wherewith other
+travellers fill their books, as if the readers were personally
+concerned whether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary to
+mention this matter, lest the world should think it impossible that I
+could find sustenance for three years in such a country, and among such
+inhabitants.
+
+When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a place for me
+to lodge in; it was but six yards from the house and separated from the
+stable of the _Yahoos_. Here I got some straw, and covering myself with
+my own clothes, slept very sound. But I was in a short time better
+accommodated, as the reader shall know hereafter, when I come to treat
+more particularly about my way of living.
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+The author studies to learn the language. The Houyhnhnm, his master,
+assists in teaching him. The language described. Several Houyhnhnms of
+quality come out of curiosity to see the author. He gives his master a
+short account of his voyage.
+
+
+My principal endeavour was to learn the language, which my master (for
+so I shall henceforth call him), and his children, and every servant of
+his house, were desirous to teach me; for they looked upon it as a
+prodigy, that a brute animal should discover such marks of a rational
+creature. I pointed to every thing, and inquired the name of it, which
+I wrote down in my journal-book when I was alone, and corrected my bad
+accent by desiring those of the family to pronounce it often. In this
+employment, a sorrel nag, one of the under-servants, was very ready to
+assist me.
+
+In speaking, they pronounced through the nose and throat, and their
+language approaches nearest to the High-Dutch, or German, of any I know
+in Europe; but is much more graceful and significant. The emperor
+Charles V. made almost the same observation, when he said “that if he
+were to speak to his horse, it should be in High-Dutch.”
+
+The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great, that he spent
+many hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced (as he
+afterwards told me) that I must be a _Yahoo_; but my teachableness,
+civility, and cleanliness, astonished him; which were qualities
+altogether opposite to those animals. He was most perplexed about my
+clothes, reasoning sometimes with himself, whether they were a part of
+my body: for I never pulled them off till the family were asleep, and
+got them on before they waked in the morning. My master was eager to
+learn “whence I came; how I acquired those appearances of reason, which
+I discovered in all my actions; and to know my story from my own mouth,
+which he hoped he should soon do by the great proficiency I made in
+learning and pronouncing their words and sentences.” To help my memory,
+I formed all I learned into the English alphabet, and writ the words
+down, with the translations. This last, after some time, I ventured to
+do in my master’s presence. It cost me much trouble to explain to him
+what I was doing; for the inhabitants have not the least idea of books
+or literature.
+
+In about ten weeks time, I was able to understand most of his
+questions; and in three months, could give him some tolerable answers.
+He was extremely curious to know “from what part of the country I came,
+and how I was taught to imitate a rational creature; because the
+_Yahoos_ (whom he saw I exactly resembled in my head, hands, and face,
+that were only visible), with some appearance of cunning, and the
+strongest disposition to mischief, were observed to be the most
+unteachable of all brutes.” I answered, “that I came over the sea, from
+a far place, with many others of my own kind, in a great hollow vessel
+made of the bodies of trees: that my companions forced me to land on
+this coast, and then left me to shift for myself.” It was with some
+difficulty, and by the help of many signs, that I brought him to
+understand me. He replied, “that I must needs be mistaken, or that I
+said the thing which was not;” for they have no word in their language
+to express lying or falsehood. “He knew it was impossible that there
+could be a country beyond the sea, or that a parcel of brutes could
+move a wooden vessel whither they pleased upon water. He was sure no
+_Houyhnhnm_ alive could make such a vessel, nor would trust _Yahoos_ to
+manage it.”
+
+The word _Houyhnhnm_, in their tongue, signifies a _horse_, and, in its
+etymology, the _perfection of nature_. I told my master, “that I was at
+a loss for expression, but would improve as fast as I could; and hoped,
+in a short time, I should be able to tell him wonders.” He was pleased
+to direct his own mare, his colt, and foal, and the servants of the
+family, to take all opportunities of instructing me; and every day, for
+two or three hours, he was at the same pains himself. Several horses
+and mares of quality in the neighbourhood came often to our house, upon
+the report spread of “a wonderful _Yahoo_, that could speak like a
+_Houyhnhnm_, and seemed, in his words and actions, to discover some
+glimmerings of reason.” These delighted to converse with me: they put
+many questions, and received such answers as I was able to return. By
+all these advantages I made so great a progress, that, in five months
+from my arrival I understood whatever was spoken, and could express
+myself tolerably well.
+
+The _Houyhnhnms_, who came to visit my master out of a design of seeing
+and talking with me, could hardly believe me to be a right _Yahoo_,
+because my body had a different covering from others of my kind. They
+were astonished to observe me without the usual hair or skin, except on
+my head, face, and hands; but I discovered that secret to my master
+upon an accident which happened about a fortnight before.
+
+I have already told the reader, that every night, when the family were
+gone to bed, it was my custom to strip, and cover myself with my
+clothes. It happened, one morning early, that my master sent for me by
+the sorrel nag, who was his valet. When he came I was fast asleep, my
+clothes fallen off on one side, and my shirt above my waist. I awaked
+at the noise he made, and observed him to deliver his message in some
+disorder; after which he went to my master, and in a great fright gave
+him a very confused account of what he had seen. This I presently
+discovered, for, going as soon as I was dressed to pay my attendance
+upon his honour, he asked me “the meaning of what his servant had
+reported, that I was not the same thing when I slept, as I appeared to
+be at other times; that his valet assured him, some part of me was
+white, some yellow, at least not so white, and some brown.”
+
+I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to
+distinguish myself, as much as possible, from that cursed race of
+_Yahoos_; but now I found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides, I
+considered that my clothes and shoes would soon wear out, which already
+were in a declining condition, and must be supplied by some contrivance
+from the hides of _Yahoos_, or other brutes; whereby the whole secret
+would be known. I therefore told my master, “that in the country whence
+I came, those of my kind always covered their bodies with the hairs of
+certain animals prepared by art, as well for decency as to avoid the
+inclemencies of air, both hot and cold; of which, as to my own person,
+I would give him immediate conviction, if he pleased to command me:
+only desiring his excuse, if I did not expose those parts that nature
+taught us to conceal.” He said, “my discourse was all very strange, but
+especially the last part; for he could not understand, why nature
+should teach us to conceal what nature had given; that neither himself
+nor family were ashamed of any parts of their bodies; but, however, I
+might do as I pleased.” Whereupon I first unbuttoned my coat, and
+pulled it off. I did the same with my waistcoat. I drew off my shoes,
+stockings, and breeches. I let my shirt down to my waist, and drew up
+the bottom; fastening it like a girdle about my middle, to hide my
+nakedness.
+
+My master observed the whole performance with great signs of curiosity
+and admiration. He took up all my clothes in his pastern, one piece
+after another, and examined them diligently; he then stroked my body
+very gently, and looked round me several times; after which, he said,
+it was plain I must be a perfect _Yahoo_; but that I differed very much
+from the rest of my species in the softness, whiteness, and smoothness
+of my skin; my want of hair in several parts of my body; the shape and
+shortness of my claws behind and before; and my affectation of walking
+continually on my two hinder feet. He desired to see no more; and gave
+me leave to put on my clothes again, for I was shuddering with cold.
+
+I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the appellation of
+_Yahoo_, an odious animal, for which I had so utter a hatred and
+contempt: I begged he would forbear applying that word to me, and make
+the same order in his family and among his friends whom he suffered to
+see me. I requested likewise, “that the secret of my having a false
+covering to my body, might be known to none but himself, at least as
+long as my present clothing should last; for as to what the sorrel nag,
+his valet, had observed, his honour might command him to conceal it.”
+
+All this my master very graciously consented to; and thus the secret
+was kept till my clothes began to wear out, which I was forced to
+supply by several contrivances that shall hereafter be mentioned. In
+the meantime, he desired “I would go on with my utmost diligence to
+learn their language, because he was more astonished at my capacity for
+speech and reason, than at the figure of my body, whether it were
+covered or not;” adding, “that he waited with some impatience to hear
+the wonders which I promised to tell him.”
+
+From thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me:
+he brought me into all company, and made them treat me with civility;
+“because,” as he told them, privately, “this would put me into good
+humour, and make me more diverting.”
+
+Every day, when I waited on him, beside the trouble he was at in
+teaching, he would ask me several questions concerning myself, which I
+answered as well as I could, and by these means he had already received
+some general ideas, though very imperfect. It would be tedious to
+relate the several steps by which I advanced to a more regular
+conversation; but the first account I gave of myself in any order and
+length was to this purpose:
+
+“That I came from a very far country, as I already had attempted to
+tell him, with about fifty more of my own species; that we travelled
+upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made of wood, and larger than
+his honour’s house. I described the ship to him in the best terms I
+could, and explained, by the help of my handkerchief displayed, how it
+was driven forward by the wind. That upon a quarrel among us, I was set
+on shore on this coast, where I walked forward, without knowing
+whither, till he delivered me from the persecution of those execrable
+_Yahoos_.” He asked me, “who made the ship, and how it was possible
+that the _Houyhnhnms_ of my country would leave it to the management of
+brutes?” My answer was, “that I durst proceed no further in my
+relation, unless he would give me his word and honour that he would not
+be offended, and then I would tell him the wonders I had so often
+promised.” He agreed; and I went on by assuring him, that the ship was
+made by creatures like myself; who, in all the countries I had
+travelled, as well as in my own, were the only governing rational
+animals; and that upon my arrival hither, I was as much astonished to
+see the _Houyhnhnms_ act like rational beings, as he, or his friends,
+could be, in finding some marks of reason in a creature he was pleased
+to call a _Yahoo_; to which I owned my resemblance in every part, but
+could not account for their degenerate and brutal nature. I said
+farther, “that if good fortune ever restored me to my native country,
+to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do, everybody would
+believe, that I said the thing that was not, that I invented the story
+out of my own head; and (with all possible respect to himself, his
+family, and friends, and under his promise of not being offended) our
+countrymen would hardly think it probable that a _Houyhnhnm_ should be
+the presiding creature of a nation, and a _Yahoo_ the brute.”
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+The Houyhnhnms’ notion of truth and falsehood. The author’s discourse
+disapproved by his master. The author gives a more particular account
+of himself, and the accidents of his voyage.
+
+
+My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in his
+countenance; because _doubting_, or not believing, are so little known
+in this country, that the inhabitants cannot tell how to behave
+themselves under such circumstances. And I remember, in frequent
+discourses with my master concerning the nature of manhood in other
+parts of the world, having occasion to talk of _lying_ and _false
+representation_, it was with much difficulty that he comprehended what
+I meant, although he had otherwise a most acute judgment. For he argued
+thus: “that the use of speech was to make us understand one another,
+and to receive information of facts; now, if any one _said the thing
+which was not_, these ends were defeated, because I cannot properly be
+said to understand him; and I am so far from receiving information,
+that he leaves me worse than in ignorance; for I am led to believe a
+thing black, when it is white, and short, when it is long.” And these
+were all the notions he had concerning that faculty of _lying_, so
+perfectly well understood, and so universally practised, among human
+creatures.
+
+To return from this digression. When I asserted that the _Yahoos_ were
+the only governing animals in my country, which my master said was
+altogether past his conception, he desired to know, “whether we had
+_Houyhnhnms_ among us, and what was their employment?” I told him, “we
+had great numbers; that in summer they grazed in the fields, and in
+winter were kept in houses with hay and oats, where _Yahoo_ servants
+were employed to rub their skins smooth, comb their manes, pick their
+feet, serve them with food, and make their beds.” “I understand you
+well,” said my master: “it is now very plain, from all you have spoken,
+that whatever share of reason the _Yahoos_ pretend to, the _Houyhnhnms_
+are your masters; I heartily wish our _Yahoos_ would be so tractable.”
+I begged “his honour would please to excuse me from proceeding any
+further, because I was very certain that the account he expected from
+me would be highly displeasing.” But he insisted in commanding me to
+let him know the best and the worst. I told him “he should be obeyed.”
+I owned “that the _Houyhnhnms_ among us, whom we called horses, were
+the most generous and comely animals we had; that they excelled in
+strength and swiftness; and when they belonged to persons of quality,
+were employed in travelling, racing, or drawing chariots; they were
+treated with much kindness and care, till they fell into diseases, or
+became foundered in the feet; but then they were sold, and used to all
+kind of drudgery till they died; after which their skins were stripped,
+and sold for what they were worth, and their bodies left to be devoured
+by dogs and birds of prey. But the common race of horses had not so
+good fortune, being kept by farmers and carriers, and other mean
+people, who put them to greater labour, and fed them worse.” I
+described, as well as I could, our way of riding; the shape and use of
+a bridle, a saddle, a spur, and a whip; of harness and wheels. I added,
+“that we fastened plates of a certain hard substance, called iron, at
+the bottom of their feet, to preserve their hoofs from being broken by
+the stony ways, on which we often travelled.”
+
+My master, after some expressions of great indignation, wondered “how
+we dared to venture upon a _Houyhnhnm’s_ back; for he was sure, that
+the weakest servant in his house would be able to shake off the
+strongest _Yahoo_; or by lying down and rolling on his back, squeeze
+the brute to death.” I answered “that our horses were trained up, from
+three or four years old, to the several uses we intended them for; that
+if any of them proved intolerably vicious, they were employed for
+carriages; that they were severely beaten, while they were young, for
+any mischievous tricks; that the males, designed for the common use of
+riding or draught, were generally castrated about two years after their
+birth, to take down their spirits, and make them more tame and gentle;
+that they were indeed sensible of rewards and punishments; but his
+honour would please to consider, that they had not the least tincture
+of reason, any more than the _Yahoos_ in this country.”
+
+It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give my master a
+right idea of what I spoke; for their language does not abound in
+variety of words, because their wants and passions are fewer than among
+us. But it is impossible to express his noble resentment at our savage
+treatment of the _Houyhnhnm_ race; particularly after I had explained
+the manner and use of castrating horses among us, to hinder them from
+propagating their kind, and to render them more servile. He said, “if
+it were possible there could be any country where _Yahoos_ alone were
+endued with reason, they certainly must be the governing animal;
+because reason in time will always prevail against brutal strength.
+But, considering the frame of our bodies, and especially of mine, he
+thought no creature of equal bulk was so ill-contrived for employing
+that reason in the common offices of life;” whereupon he desired to
+know “whether those among whom I lived resembled me, or the _Yahoos_ of
+his country?” I assured him, “that I was as well shaped as most of my
+age; but the younger, and the females, were much more soft and tender,
+and the skins of the latter generally as white as milk.” He said, “I
+differed indeed from other _Yahoos_, being much more cleanly, and not
+altogether so deformed; but, in point of real advantage, he thought I
+differed for the worse: that my nails were of no use either to my fore
+or hinder feet; as to my forefeet, he could not properly call them by
+that name, for he never observed me to walk upon them; that they were
+too soft to bear the ground; that I generally went with them uncovered;
+neither was the covering I sometimes wore on them of the same shape, or
+so strong as that on my feet behind: that I could not walk with any
+security, for if either of my hinder feet slipped, I must inevitably
+fall.” He then began to find fault with other parts of my body: “the
+flatness of my face, the prominence of my nose, my eyes placed directly
+in front, so that I could not look on either side without turning my
+head: that I was not able to feed myself, without lifting one of my
+forefeet to my mouth: and therefore nature had placed those joints to
+answer that necessity. He knew not what could be the use of those
+several clefts and divisions in my feet behind; that these were too
+soft to bear the hardness and sharpness of stones, without a covering
+made from the skin of some other brute; that my whole body wanted a
+fence against heat and cold, which I was forced to put on and off every
+day, with tediousness and trouble: and lastly, that he observed every
+animal in this country naturally to abhor the _Yahoos_, whom the weaker
+avoided, and the stronger drove from them. So that, supposing us to
+have the gift of reason, he could not see how it were possible to cure
+that natural antipathy, which every creature discovered against us; nor
+consequently how we could tame and render them serviceable. However, he
+would,” as he said, “debate the matter no farther, because he was more
+desirous to know my own story, the country where I was born, and the
+several actions and events of my life, before I came hither.”
+
+I assured him, “how extremely desirous I was that he should be
+satisfied on every point; but I doubted much, whether it would be
+possible for me to explain myself on several subjects, whereof his
+honour could have no conception; because I saw nothing in his country
+to which I could resemble them; that, however, I would do my best, and
+strive to express myself by similitudes, humbly desiring his assistance
+when I wanted proper words;” which he was pleased to promise me.
+
+I said, “my birth was of honest parents, in an island called England;
+which was remote from his country, as many days’ journey as the
+strongest of his honour’s servants could travel in the annual course of
+the sun; that I was bred a surgeon, whose trade it is to cure wounds
+and hurts in the body, gotten by accident or violence; that my country
+was governed by a female man, whom we called queen; that I left it to
+get riches, whereby I might maintain myself and family, when I should
+return; that, in my last voyage, I was commander of the ship, and had
+about fifty _Yahoos_ under me, many of which died at sea, and I was
+forced to supply them by others picked out from several nations; that
+our ship was twice in danger of being sunk, the first time by a great
+storm, and the second by striking against a rock.” Here my master
+interposed, by asking me, “how I could persuade strangers, out of
+different countries, to venture with me, after the losses I had
+sustained, and the hazards I had run?” I said, “they were fellows of
+desperate fortunes, forced to fly from the places of their birth on
+account of their poverty or their crimes. Some were undone by lawsuits;
+others spent all they had in drinking, whoring, and gaming; others fled
+for treason; many for murder, theft, poisoning, robbery, perjury,
+forgery, coining false money, for committing rapes, or sodomy; for
+flying from their colours, or deserting to the enemy; and most of them
+had broken prison; none of these durst return to their native
+countries, for fear of being hanged, or of starving in a jail; and
+therefore they were under the necessity of seeking a livelihood in
+other places.”
+
+During this discourse, my master was pleased to interrupt me several
+times. I had made use of many circumlocutions in describing to him the
+nature of the several crimes for which most of our crew had been forced
+to fly their country. This labour took up several days’ conversation,
+before he was able to comprehend me. He was wholly at a loss to know
+what could be the use or necessity of practising those vices. To clear
+up which, I endeavoured to give some ideas of the desire of power and
+riches; of the terrible effects of lust, intemperance, malice, and
+envy. All this I was forced to define and describe by putting cases and
+making suppositions. After which, like one whose imagination was struck
+with something never seen or heard of before, he would lift up his eyes
+with amazement and indignation. Power, government, war, law,
+punishment, and a thousand other things, had no terms wherein that
+language could express them, which made the difficulty almost
+insuperable, to give my master any conception of what I meant. But
+being of an excellent understanding, much improved by contemplation and
+converse, he at last arrived at a competent knowledge of what human
+nature, in our parts of the world, is capable to perform, and desired I
+would give him some particular account of that land which we call
+Europe, but especially of my own country.
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+The author at his master’s command, informs him of the state of
+England. The causes of war among the princes of Europe. The author
+begins to explain the English constitution.
+
+
+The reader may please to observe, that the following extract of many
+conversations I had with my master, contains a summary of the most
+material points which were discoursed at several times for above two
+years; his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction, as I farther
+improved in the _Houyhnhnm_ tongue. I laid before him, as well as I
+could, the whole state of Europe; I discoursed of trade and
+manufactures, of arts and sciences; and the answers I gave to all the
+questions he made, as they arose upon several subjects, were a fund of
+conversation not to be exhausted. But I shall here only set down the
+substance of what passed between us concerning my own country, reducing
+it in order as well as I can, without any regard to time or other
+circumstances, while I strictly adhere to truth. My only concern is,
+that I shall hardly be able to do justice to my master’s arguments and
+expressions, which must needs suffer by my want of capacity, as well as
+by a translation into our barbarous English.
+
+In obedience, therefore, to his honour’s commands, I related to him the
+Revolution under the Prince of Orange; the long war with France,
+entered into by the said prince, and renewed by his successor, the
+present queen, wherein the greatest powers of Christendom were engaged,
+and which still continued: I computed, at his request, “that about a
+million of _Yahoos_ might have been killed in the whole progress of it;
+and perhaps a hundred or more cities taken, and five times as many
+ships burnt or sunk.”
+
+He asked me, “what were the usual causes or motives that made one
+country go to war with another?” I answered “they were innumerable; but
+I should only mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition of
+princes, who never think they have land or people enough to govern;
+sometimes the corruption of ministers, who engage their master in a
+war, in order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects against
+their evil administration. Difference in opinions has cost many
+millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be
+flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether
+whistling be a vice or a virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post,
+or throw it into the fire; what is the best colour for a coat, whether
+black, white, red, or gray; and whether it should be long or short,
+narrow or wide, dirty or clean; with many more. Neither are any wars so
+furious and bloody, or of so long a continuance, as those occasioned by
+difference in opinion, especially if it be in things indifferent.
+
+“Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of them
+shall dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of them
+pretend to any right. Sometimes one prince quarrels with another for
+fear the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a war is entered
+upon, because the enemy is too strong; and sometimes, because he is too
+weak. Sometimes our neighbours want the things which we have, or have
+the things which we want, and we both fight, till they take ours, or
+give us theirs. It is a very justifiable cause of a war, to invade a
+country after the people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by
+pestilence, or embroiled by factions among themselves. It is
+justifiable to enter into war against our nearest ally, when one of his
+towns lies convenient for us, or a territory of land, that would render
+our dominions round and complete. If a prince sends forces into a
+nation, where the people are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully put
+half of them to death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to
+civilize and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It is a
+very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one prince desires
+the assistance of another, to secure him against an invasion, that the
+assistant, when he has driven out the invader, should seize on the
+dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or banish, the prince he came to
+relieve. Alliance by blood, or marriage, is a frequent cause of war
+between princes; and the nearer the kindred is, the greater their
+disposition to quarrel; poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are
+proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance. For these
+reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honourable of all
+others; because a soldier is a _Yahoo_ hired to kill, in cold blood, as
+many of his own species, who have never offended him, as possibly he
+can.
+
+“There is likewise a kind of beggarly princes in Europe, not able to
+make war by themselves, who hire out their troops to richer nations,
+for so much a day to each man; of which they keep three-fourths to
+themselves, and it is the best part of their maintenance: such are
+those in many northern parts of Europe.”
+
+“What you have told me,” said my master, “upon the subject of war, does
+indeed discover most admirably the effects of that reason you pretend
+to: however, it is happy that the shame is greater than the danger; and
+that nature has left you utterly incapable of doing much mischief. For,
+your mouths lying flat with your faces, you can hardly bite each other
+to any purpose, unless by consent. Then as to the claws upon your feet
+before and behind, they are so short and tender, that one of our
+_Yahoos_ would drive a dozen of yours before him. And therefore, in
+recounting the numbers of those who have been killed in battle, I
+cannot but think you have said the thing which is not.”
+
+I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little at his
+ignorance. And being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him a
+description of cannons, culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols,
+bullets, powder, swords, bayonets, battles, sieges, retreats, attacks,
+undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea fights, ships sunk with a
+thousand men, twenty thousand killed on each side, dying groans, limbs
+flying in the air, smoke, noise, confusion, trampling to death under
+horses’ feet, flight, pursuit, victory; fields strewed with carcases,
+left for food to dogs and wolves and birds of prey; plundering,
+stripping, ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to set forth the
+valour of my own dear countrymen, I assured him, “that I had seen them
+blow up a hundred enemies at once in a siege, and as many in a ship,
+and beheld the dead bodies drop down in pieces from the clouds, to the
+great diversion of the spectators.”
+
+I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded me
+silence. He said, “whoever understood the nature of _Yahoos_, might
+easily believe it possible for so vile an animal to be capable of every
+action I had named, if their strength and cunning equalled their
+malice. But as my discourse had increased his abhorrence of the whole
+species, so he found it gave him a disturbance in his mind to which he
+was wholly a stranger before. He thought his ears, being used to such
+abominable words, might, by degrees, admit them with less detestation:
+that although he hated the _Yahoos_ of this country, yet he no more
+blamed them for their odious qualities, than he did a _gnnayh_ (a bird
+of prey) for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his hoof. But
+when a creature pretending to reason could be capable of such
+enormities, he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be
+worse than brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that,
+instead of reason we were only possessed of some quality fitted to
+increase our natural vices; as the reflection from a troubled stream
+returns the image of an ill-shapen body, not only larger but more
+distorted.”
+
+He added, “that he had heard too much upon the subject of war, both in
+this and some former discourses. There was another point, which a
+little perplexed him at present. I had informed him, that some of our
+crew left their country on account of being ruined by law; that I had
+already explained the meaning of the word; but he was at a loss how it
+should come to pass, that the law, which was intended for every man’s
+preservation, should be any man’s ruin. Therefore he desired to be
+further satisfied what I meant by law, and the dispensers thereof,
+according to the present practice in my own country; because he thought
+nature and reason were sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as we
+pretended to be, in showing us what we ought to do, and what to avoid.”
+
+I assured his honour, “that law was a science in which I had not much
+conversed, further than by employing advocates, in vain, upon some
+injustices that had been done me: however, I would give him all the
+satisfaction I was able.”
+
+I said, “there was a society of men among us, bred up from their youth
+in the art of proving, by words multiplied for the purpose, that white
+is black, and black is white, according as they are paid. To this
+society all the rest of the people are slaves. For example, if my
+neighbour has a mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to prove that he ought
+to have my cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my right, it
+being against all rules of law that any man should be allowed to speak
+for himself. Now, in this case, I, who am the right owner, lie under
+two great disadvantages: first, my lawyer, being practised almost from
+his cradle in defending falsehood, is quite out of his element when he
+would be an advocate for justice, which is an unnatural office he
+always attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill-will. The
+second disadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with great caution,
+or else he will be reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his
+brethren, as one that would lessen the practice of the law. And
+therefore I have but two methods to preserve my cow. The first is, to
+gain over my adversary’s lawyer with a double fee, who will then betray
+his client by insinuating that he hath justice on his side. The second
+way is for my lawyer to make my cause appear as unjust as he can, by
+allowing the cow to belong to my adversary: and this, if it be
+skilfully done, will certainly bespeak the favour of the bench. Now
+your honour is to know, that these judges are persons appointed to
+decide all controversies of property, as well as for the trial of
+criminals, and picked out from the most dexterous lawyers, who are
+grown old or lazy; and having been biassed all their lives against
+truth and equity, lie under such a fatal necessity of favouring fraud,
+perjury, and oppression, that I have known some of them refuse a large
+bribe from the side where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty,
+by doing any thing unbecoming their nature or their office.
+
+“It is a maxim among these lawyers that whatever has been done before,
+may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to
+record all the decisions formerly made against common justice, and the
+general reason of mankind. These, under the name of precedents, they
+produce as authorities to justify the most iniquitous opinions; and the
+judges never fail of directing accordingly.
+
+“In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the
+cause; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling upon all
+circumstances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the case
+already mentioned; they never desire to know what claim or title my
+adversary has to my cow; but whether the said cow were red or black;
+her horns long or short; whether the field I graze her in be round or
+square; whether she was milked at home or abroad; what diseases she is
+subject to, and the like; after which they consult precedents, adjourn
+the cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty years, come
+to an issue.
+
+“It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant
+and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and
+wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to
+multiply; whereby they have wholly confounded the very essence of truth
+and falsehood, of right and wrong; so that it will take thirty years to
+decide, whether the field left me by my ancestors for six generations
+belongs to me, or to a stranger three hundred miles off.
+
+“In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the
+method is much more short and commendable: the judge first sends to
+sound the disposition of those in power, after which he can easily hang
+or save a criminal, strictly preserving all due forms of law.”
+
+Here my master interposing, said, “it was a pity, that creatures
+endowed with such prodigious abilities of mind, as these lawyers, by
+the description I gave of them, must certainly be, were not rather
+encouraged to be instructors of others in wisdom and knowledge.” In
+answer to which I assured his honour, “that in all points out of their
+own trade, they were usually the most ignorant and stupid generation
+among us, the most despicable in common conversation, avowed enemies to
+all knowledge and learning, and equally disposed to pervert the general
+reason of mankind in every other subject of discourse as in that of
+their own profession.”
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The character
+of a first minister of state in European courts.
+
+
+My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives could
+incite this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary themselves,
+and engage in a confederacy of injustice, merely for the sake of
+injuring their fellow-animals; neither could he comprehend what I meant
+in saying, they did it for hire. Whereupon I was at much pains to
+describe to him the use of money, the materials it was made of, and the
+value of the metals; “that when a _Yahoo_ had got a great store of this
+precious substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind to;
+the finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most
+costly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful
+females. Therefore since money alone was able to perform all these
+feats, our _Yahoos_ thought they could never have enough of it to
+spend, or to save, as they found themselves inclined, from their
+natural bent either to profusion or avarice; that the rich man enjoyed
+the fruit of the poor man’s labour, and the latter were a thousand to
+one in proportion to the former; that the bulk of our people were
+forced to live miserably, by labouring every day for small wages, to
+make a few live plentifully.”
+
+I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars to the same
+purpose; but his honour was still to seek; for he went upon a
+supposition, that all animals had a title to their share in the
+productions of the earth, and especially those who presided over the
+rest. Therefore he desired I would let him know, “what these costly
+meats were, and how any of us happened to want them?” Whereupon I
+enumerated as many sorts as came into my head, with the various methods
+of dressing them, which could not be done without sending vessels by
+sea to every part of the world, as well for liquors to drink as for
+sauces and innumerable other conveniences. I assured him “that this
+whole globe of earth must be at least three times gone round before one
+of our better female _Yahoos_ could get her breakfast, or a cup to put
+it in.” He said “that must needs be a miserable country which cannot
+furnish food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered at
+was, how such vast tracts of ground as I described should be wholly
+without fresh water, and the people put to the necessity of sending
+over the sea for drink.” I replied “that England (the dear place of my
+nativity) was computed to produce three times the quantity of food more
+than its inhabitants are able to consume, as well as liquors extracted
+from grain, or pressed out of the fruit of certain trees, which made
+excellent drink, and the same proportion in every other convenience of
+life. But, in order to feed the luxury and intemperance of the males,
+and the vanity of the females, we sent away the greatest part of our
+necessary things to other countries, whence, in return, we brought the
+materials of diseases, folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves. Hence
+it follows of necessity, that vast numbers of our people are compelled
+to seek their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, cheating,
+pimping, flattering, suborning, forswearing, forging, gaming, lying,
+fawning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, star-gazing, poisoning,
+whoring, canting, libelling, freethinking, and the like occupations:”
+every one of which terms I was at much pains to make him understand.
+
+“That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to supply
+the want of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort of liquid
+which made us merry by putting us out of our senses, diverted all
+melancholy thoughts, begat wild extravagant imaginations in the brain,
+raised our hopes and banished our fears, suspended every office of
+reason for a time, and deprived us of the use of our limbs, till we
+fell into a profound sleep; although it must be confessed, that we
+always awaked sick and dispirited; and that the use of this liquor
+filled us with diseases which made our lives uncomfortable and short.
+
+“But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves by
+furnishing the necessities or conveniences of life to the rich and to
+each other. For instance, when I am at home, and dressed as I ought to
+be, I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred tradesmen; the
+building and furniture of my house employ as many more, and five times
+the number to adorn my wife.”
+
+I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get their
+livelihood by attending the sick, having, upon some occasions, informed
+his honour that many of my crew had died of diseases. But here it was
+with the utmost difficulty that I brought him to apprehend what I
+meant. “He could easily conceive, that a _Houyhnhnm_, grew weak and
+heavy a few days before his death, or by some accident might hurt a
+limb; but that nature, who works all things to perfection, should
+suffer any pains to breed in our bodies, he thought impossible, and
+desired to know the reason of so unaccountable an evil.”
+
+I told him “we fed on a thousand things which operated contrary to each
+other; that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank without the
+provocation of thirst; that we sat whole nights drinking strong
+liquors, without eating a bit, which disposed us to sloth, inflamed our
+bodies, and precipitated or prevented digestion; that prostitute female
+_Yahoos_ acquired a certain malady, which bred rottenness in the bones
+of those who fell into their embraces; that this, and many other
+diseases, were propagated from father to son; so that great numbers
+came into the world with complicated maladies upon them; that it would
+be endless to give him a catalogue of all diseases incident to human
+bodies, for they would not be fewer than five or six hundred, spread
+over every limb and joint—in short, every part, external and intestine,
+having diseases appropriated to itself. To remedy which, there was a
+sort of people bred up among us in the profession, or pretence, of
+curing the sick. And because I had some skill in the faculty, I would,
+in gratitude to his honour, let him know the whole mystery and method
+by which they proceed.
+
+“Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion; whence
+they conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is necessary, either
+through the natural passage or upwards at the mouth. Their next
+business is from herbs, minerals, gums, oils, shells, salts, juices,
+sea-weed, excrements, barks of trees, serpents, toads, frogs, spiders,
+dead men’s flesh and bones, birds, beasts, and fishes, to form a
+composition, for smell and taste, the most abominable, nauseous, and
+detestable, they can possibly contrive, which the stomach immediately
+rejects with loathing, and this they call a vomit; or else, from the
+same store-house, with some other poisonous additions, they command us
+to take in at the orifice above or below (just as the physician then
+happens to be disposed) a medicine equally annoying and disgustful to
+the bowels; which, relaxing the belly, drives down all before it; and
+this they call a purge, or a clyster. For nature (as the physicians
+allege) having intended the superior anterior orifice only for the
+intromission of solids and liquids, and the inferior posterior for
+ejection, these artists ingeniously considering that in all diseases
+nature is forced out of her seat, therefore, to replace her in it, the
+body must be treated in a manner directly contrary, by interchanging
+the use of each orifice; forcing solids and liquids in at the anus, and
+making evacuations at the mouth.
+
+“But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only
+imaginary, for which the physicians have invented imaginary cures;
+these have their several names, and so have the drugs that are proper
+for them; and with these our female _Yahoos_ are always infested.
+
+“One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics,
+wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases, when they
+rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death, which is
+always in their power, when recovery is not: and therefore, upon any
+unexpected signs of amendment, after they have pronounced their
+sentence, rather than be accused as false prophets, they know how to
+approve their sagacity to the world, by a seasonable dose.
+
+“They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are grown
+weary of their mates; to eldest sons, to great ministers of state, and
+often to princes.”
+
+I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon the
+nature of government in general, and particularly of our own excellent
+constitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the whole world. But
+having here accidentally mentioned a minister of state, he commanded
+me, some time after, to inform him, “what species of _Yahoo_ I
+particularly meant by that appellation.”
+
+I told him, “that a first or chief minister of state, who was the
+person I intended to describe, was the creature wholly exempt from joy
+and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at least, makes use of no
+other passions, but a violent desire of wealth, power, and titles; that
+he applies his words to all uses, except to the indication of his mind;
+that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you should take it
+for a lie; nor a lie, but with a design that you should take it for a
+truth; that those he speaks worst of behind their backs are in the
+surest way of preferment; and whenever he begins to praise you to
+others, or to yourself, you are from that day forlorn. The worst mark
+you can receive is a promise, especially when it is confirmed with an
+oath; after which, every wise man retires, and gives over all hopes.
+
+“There are three methods, by which a man may rise to be chief minister.
+The first is, by knowing how, with prudence, to dispose of a wife, a
+daughter, or a sister; the second, by betraying or undermining his
+predecessor; and the third is, by a furious zeal, in public assemblies,
+against the corruptions of the court. But a wise prince would rather
+choose to employ those who practise the last of these methods; because
+such zealots prove always the most obsequious and subservient to the
+will and passions of their master. That these ministers, having all
+employments at their disposal, preserve themselves in power, by bribing
+the majority of a senate or great council; and at last, by an
+expedient, called an act of indemnity” (whereof I described the nature
+to him), “they secure themselves from after-reckonings, and retire from
+the public laden with the spoils of the nation.
+
+“The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in his
+own trade: the pages, lackeys, and porters, by imitating their master,
+become ministers of state in their several districts, and learn to
+excel in the three principal ingredients, of insolence, lying, and
+bribery. Accordingly, they have a subaltern court paid to them by
+persons of the best rank; and sometimes by the force of dexterity and
+impudence, arrive, through several gradations, to be successors to
+their lord.
+
+“He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite footman, who
+are the tunnels through which all graces are conveyed, and may properly
+be called, in the last resort, the governors of the kingdom.”
+
+One day, in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the nobility
+of my country, was pleased to make me a compliment which I could not
+pretend to deserve: “that he was sure I must have been born of some
+noble family, because I far exceeded in shape, colour, and cleanliness,
+all the _Yahoos_ of his nation, although I seemed to fail in strength
+and agility, which must be imputed to my different way of living from
+those other brutes; and besides I was not only endowed with the faculty
+of speech, but likewise with some rudiments of reason, to a degree
+that, with all his acquaintance, I passed for a prodigy.”
+
+He made me observe, “that among the _Houyhnhnms_, the white, the
+sorrel, and the iron-gray, were not so exactly shaped as the bay, the
+dapple-gray, and the black; nor born with equal talents of mind, or a
+capacity to improve them; and therefore continued always in the
+condition of servants, without ever aspiring to match out of their own
+race, which in that country would be reckoned monstrous and unnatural.”
+
+I made his honour my most humble acknowledgments for the good opinion
+he was pleased to conceive of me, but assured him at the same time,
+“that my birth was of the lower sort, having been born of plain honest
+parents, who were just able to give me a tolerable education; that
+nobility, among us, was altogether a different thing from the idea he
+had of it; that our young noblemen are bred from their childhood in
+idleness and luxury; that, as soon as years will permit, they consume
+their vigour, and contract odious diseases among lewd females; and when
+their fortunes are almost ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth,
+disagreeable person, and unsound constitution (merely for the sake of
+money), whom they hate and despise. That the productions of such
+marriages are generally scrofulous, rickety, or deformed children; by
+which means the family seldom continues above three generations, unless
+the wife takes care to provide a healthy father, among her neighbours
+or domestics, in order to improve and continue the breed. That a weak
+diseased body, a meagre countenance, and sallow complexion, are the
+true marks of noble blood; and a healthy robust appearance is so
+disgraceful in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real
+father to have been a groom or a coachman. The imperfections of his
+mind run parallel with those of his body, being a composition of
+spleen, dullness, ignorance, caprice, sensuality, and pride.
+
+“Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can be enacted,
+repealed, or altered: and these nobles have likewise the decision of
+all our possessions, without appeal.” [514]
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+The author’s great love of his native country. His master’s
+observations upon the constitution and administration of England, as
+described by the author, with parallel cases and comparisons. His
+master’s observations upon human nature.
+
+
+The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself to
+give so free a representation of my own species, among a race of
+mortals who are already too apt to conceive the vilest opinion of
+humankind, from that entire congruity between me and their _Yahoos_.
+But I must freely confess, that the many virtues of those excellent
+quadrupeds, placed in opposite view to human corruptions, had so far
+opened my eyes and enlarged my understanding, that I began to view the
+actions and passions of man in a very different light, and to think the
+honour of my own kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was
+impossible for me to do, before a person of so acute a judgment as my
+master, who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof
+I had not the least perception before, and which, with us, would never
+be numbered even among human infirmities. I had likewise learned, from
+his example, an utter detestation of all falsehood or disguise; and
+truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined upon sacrificing
+every thing to it.
+
+Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there was
+yet a much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my representation
+of things. I had not yet been a year in this country before I
+contracted such a love and veneration for the inhabitants, that I
+entered on a firm resolution never to return to humankind, but to pass
+the rest of my life among these admirable _Houyhnhnms_, in the
+contemplation and practice of every virtue, where I could have no
+example or incitement to vice. But it was decreed by fortune, my
+perpetual enemy, that so great a felicity should not fall to my share.
+However, it is now some comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my
+countrymen, I extenuated their faults as much as I durst before so
+strict an examiner; and upon every article gave as favourable a turn as
+the matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there alive that will not be
+swayed by his bias and partiality to the place of his birth?
+
+I have related the substance of several conversations I had with my
+master during the greatest part of the time I had the honour to be in
+his service; but have, indeed, for brevity sake, omitted much more than
+is here set down.
+
+When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed to be
+fully satisfied, he sent for me one morning early, and commanded me to
+sit down at some distance (an honour which he had never before
+conferred upon me). He said, “he had been very seriously considering my
+whole story, as far as it related both to myself and my country; that
+he looked upon us as a sort of animals, to whose share, by what
+accident he could not conjecture, some small pittance of reason had
+fallen, whereof we made no other use, than by its assistance, to
+aggravate our natural corruptions, and to acquire new ones, which
+nature had not given us; that we disarmed ourselves of the few
+abilities she had bestowed; had been very successful in multiplying our
+original wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in vain endeavours
+to supply them by our own inventions; that, as to myself, it was
+manifest I had neither the strength nor agility of a common _Yahoo_;
+that I walked infirmly on my hinder feet; had found out a contrivance
+to make my claws of no use or defence, and to remove the hair from my
+chin, which was intended as a shelter from the sun and the weather:
+lastly, that I could neither run with speed, nor climb trees like my
+brethren,” as he called them, “the _Yahoos_ in his country.
+
+“That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing to our
+gross defects in reason, and by consequence in virtue; because reason
+alone is sufficient to govern a rational creature; which was,
+therefore, a character we had no pretence to challenge, even from the
+account I had given of my own people; although he manifestly perceived,
+that, in order to favour them, I had concealed many particulars, and
+often said the thing which was not.
+
+“He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because, he observed, that
+as I agreed in every feature of my body with other _Yahoos_, except
+where it was to my real disadvantage in point of strength, speed, and
+activity, the shortness of my claws, and some other particulars where
+nature had no part; so from the representation I had given him of our
+lives, our manners, and our actions, he found as near a resemblance in
+the disposition of our minds.” He said, “the _Yahoos_ were known to
+hate one another, more than they did any different species of animals;
+and the reason usually assigned was, the odiousness of their own
+shapes, which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had
+therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our bodies, and
+by that invention conceal many of our deformities from each other,
+which would else be hardly supportable. But he now found he had been
+mistaken, and that the dissensions of those brutes in his country were
+owing to the same cause with ours, as I had described them. For if,”
+said he, “you throw among five _Yahoos_ as much food as would be
+sufficient for fifty, they will, instead of eating peaceably, fall
+together by the ears, each single one impatient to have all to itself;
+and therefore a servant was usually employed to stand by while they
+were feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a distance
+from each other: that if a cow died of age or accident, before a
+_Houyhnhnm_ could secure it for his own _Yahoos_, those in the
+neighbourhood would come in herds to seize it, and then would ensue
+such a battle as I had described, with terrible wounds made by their
+claws on both sides, although they seldom were able to kill one
+another, for want of such convenient instruments of death as we had
+invented. At other times, the like battles have been fought between the
+_Yahoos_ of several neighbourhoods, without any visible cause; those of
+one district watching all opportunities to surprise the next, before
+they are prepared. But if they find their project has miscarried, they
+return home, and, for want of enemies, engage in what I call a civil
+war among themselves.
+
+“That in some fields of his country there are certain shining stones of
+several colours, whereof the _Yahoos_ are violently fond: and when part
+of these stones is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes happens, they
+will dig with their claws for whole days to get them out; then carry
+them away, and hide them by heaps in their kennels; but still looking
+round with great caution, for fear their comrades should find out their
+treasure.” My master said, “he could never discover the reason of this
+unnatural appetite, or how these stones could be of any use to a
+_Yahoo_; but now he believed it might proceed from the same principle
+of avarice which I had ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way of
+experiment, privately removed a heap of these stones from the place
+where one of his _Yahoos_ had buried it; whereupon the sordid animal,
+missing his treasure, by his loud lamenting brought the whole herd to
+the place, there miserably howled, then fell to biting and tearing the
+rest, began to pine away, would neither eat, nor sleep, nor work, till
+he ordered a servant privately to convey the stones into the same hole,
+and hide them as before; which, when his _Yahoo_ had found, he
+presently recovered his spirits and good humour, but took good care to
+remove them to a better hiding place, and has ever since been a very
+serviceable brute.”
+
+My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, “that in
+the fields where the shining stones abound, the fiercest and most
+frequent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of the
+neighbouring _Yahoos_.”
+
+He said, “it was common, when two _Yahoos_ discovered such a stone in a
+field, and were contending which of them should be the proprietor, a
+third would take the advantage, and carry it away from them both;”
+which my master would needs contend to have some kind of resemblance
+with our suits at law; wherein I thought it for our credit not to
+undeceive him; since the decision he mentioned was much more equitable
+than many decrees among us; because the plaintiff and defendant there
+lost nothing beside the stone they contended for: whereas our courts of
+equity would never have dismissed the cause, while either of them had
+any thing left.
+
+My master, continuing his discourse, said, “there was nothing that
+rendered the _Yahoos_ more odious, than their undistinguishing appetite
+to devour every thing that came in their way, whether herbs, roots,
+berries, the corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled together: and
+it was peculiar in their temper, that they were fonder of what they
+could get by rapine or stealth, at a greater distance, than much better
+food provided for them at home. If their prey held out, they would eat
+till they were ready to burst; after which, nature had pointed out to
+them a certain root that gave them a general evacuation.
+
+“There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat rare and
+difficult to be found, which the _Yahoos_ sought for with much
+eagerness, and would suck it with great delight; it produced in them
+the same effects that wine has upon us. It would make them sometimes
+hug, and sometimes tear one another; they would howl, and grin, and
+chatter, and reel, and tumble, and then fall asleep in the mud.”
+
+I did indeed observe that the _Yahoos_ were the only animals in this
+country subject to any diseases; which, however, were much fewer than
+horses have among us, and contracted, not by any ill-treatment they
+meet with, but by the nastiness and greediness of that sordid brute.
+Neither has their language any more than a general appellation for
+those maladies, which is borrowed from the name of the beast, and
+called _hnea-yahoo_, or _Yahoo’s evil_; and the cure prescribed is a
+mixture of their own dung and urine, forcibly put down the _Yahoo’s_
+throat. This I have since often known to have been taken with success,
+and do here freely recommend it to my countrymen for the public good,
+as an admirable specific against all diseases produced by repletion.
+
+“As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like,” my
+master confessed, “he could find little or no resemblance between the
+_Yahoos_ of that country and those in ours; for he only meant to
+observe what parity there was in our natures. He had heard, indeed,
+some curious _Houyhnhnms_ observe, that in most herds there was a sort
+of ruling _Yahoo_ (as among us there is generally some leading or
+principal stag in a park), who was always more deformed in body, and
+mischievous in disposition, than any of the rest; that this leader had
+usually a favourite as like himself as he could get, whose employment
+was to lick his master’s feet and posteriors, and drive the female
+_Yahoos_ to his kennel; for which he was now and then rewarded with a
+piece of ass’s flesh. This favourite is hated by the whole herd, and
+therefore, to protect himself, keeps always near the person of his
+leader. He usually continues in office till a worse can be found; but
+the very moment he is discarded, his successor, at the head of all the
+_Yahoos_ in that district, young and old, male and female, come in a
+body, and discharge their excrements upon him from head to foot. But
+how far this might be applicable to our courts, and favourites, and
+ministers of state, my master said I could best determine.”
+
+I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which debased
+human understanding below the sagacity of a common hound, who has
+judgment enough to distinguish and follow the cry of the ablest dog in
+the pack, without being ever mistaken.
+
+My master told me, “there were some qualities remarkable in the
+_Yahoos_, which he had not observed me to mention, or at least very
+slightly, in the accounts I had given of humankind.” He said, “those
+animals, like other brutes, had their females in common; but in this
+they differed, that the she _Yahoo_ would admit the males while she was
+pregnant; and that the hes would quarrel and fight with the females, as
+fiercely as with each other; both which practices were such degrees of
+infamous brutality, as no other sensitive creature ever arrived at.
+
+“Another thing he wondered at in the _Yahoos_, was their strange
+disposition to nastiness and dirt; whereas there appears to be a
+natural love of cleanliness in all other animals.” As to the two former
+accusations, I was glad to let them pass without any reply, because I
+had not a word to offer upon them in defence of my species, which
+otherwise I certainly had done from my own inclinations. But I could
+have easily vindicated humankind from the imputation of singularity
+upon the last article, if there had been any swine in that country (as
+unluckily for me there were not), which, although it may be a sweeter
+quadruped than a _Yahoo_, cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice,
+pretend to more cleanliness; and so his honour himself must have owned,
+if he had seen their filthy way of feeding, and their custom of
+wallowing and sleeping in the mud.
+
+My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants had
+discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable. He
+said, “a fancy would sometimes take a _Yahoo_ to retire into a corner,
+to lie down, and howl, and groan, and spurn away all that came near
+him, although he were young and fat, wanted neither food nor water, nor
+did the servant imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only
+remedy they found was, to set him to hard work, after which he would
+infallibly come to himself.” To this I was silent out of partiality to
+my own kind; yet here I could plainly discover the true seeds of
+spleen, which only seizes on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich;
+who, if they were forced to undergo the same regimen, I would undertake
+for the cure.
+
+His honour had further observed, “that a female _Yahoo_ would often
+stand behind a bank or a bush, to gaze on the young males passing by,
+and then appear, and hide, using many antic gestures and grimaces, at
+which time it was observed that she had a most offensive smell; and
+when any of the males advanced, would slowly retire, looking often
+back, and with a counterfeit show of fear, run off into some convenient
+place, where she knew the male would follow her.
+
+“At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or four of
+her own sex would get about her, and stare, and chatter, and grin, and
+smell her all over; and then turn off with gestures, that seemed to
+express contempt and disdain.”
+
+Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations, which he
+had drawn from what he observed himself, or had been told him by
+others; however, I could not reflect without some amazement, and much
+sorrow, that the rudiments of lewdness, coquetry, censure, and scandal,
+should have place by instinct in womankind.
+
+I expected every moment that my master would accuse the _Yahoos_ of
+those unnatural appetites in both sexes, so common among us. But
+nature, it seems, has not been so expert a school-mistress; and these
+politer pleasures are entirely the productions of art and reason on our
+side of the globe.
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+The author relates several particulars of the _Yahoos_. The great
+virtues of the _Houyhnhnms_. The education and exercise of their youth.
+Their general assembly.
+
+
+As I ought to have understood human nature much better than I supposed
+it possible for my master to do, so it was easy to apply the character
+he gave of the _Yahoos_ to myself and my countrymen; and I believed I
+could yet make further discoveries, from my own observation. I
+therefore often begged his honour to let me go among the herds of
+_Yahoos_ in the neighbourhood; to which he always very graciously
+consented, being perfectly convinced that the hatred I bore these
+brutes would never suffer me to be corrupted by them; and his honour
+ordered one of his servants, a strong sorrel nag, very honest and
+good-natured, to be my guard; without whose protection I durst not
+undertake such adventures. For I have already told the reader how much
+I was pestered by these odious animals, upon my first arrival; and I
+afterwards failed very narrowly, three or four times, of falling into
+their clutches, when I happened to stray at any distance without my
+hanger. And I have reason to believe they had some imagination that I
+was of their own species, which I often assisted myself by stripping up
+my sleeves, and showing my naked arms and breast in their sight, when
+my protector was with me. At which times they would approach as near as
+they durst, and imitate my actions after the manner of monkeys, but
+ever with great signs of hatred; as a tame jackdaw with cap and
+stockings is always persecuted by the wild ones, when he happens to be
+got among them.
+
+They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. However, I once caught
+a young male of three years old, and endeavoured, by all marks of
+tenderness, to make it quiet; but the little imp fell a squalling and
+scratching and biting with such violence, that I was forced to let it
+go; and it was high time, for a whole troop of old ones came about us
+at the noise, but finding the cub was safe (for away it ran), and my
+sorrel nag being by, they durst not venture near us. I observed the
+young animal’s flesh to smell very rank, and the stink was somewhat
+between a weasel and a fox, but much more disagreeable. I forgot
+another circumstance (and perhaps I might have the reader’s pardon if
+it were wholly omitted), that while I held the odious vermin in my
+hands, it voided its filthy excrements of a yellow liquid substance all
+over my clothes; but by good fortune there was a small brook hard by,
+where I washed myself as clean as I could; although I durst not come
+into my master’s presence until I were sufficiently aired.
+
+By what I could discover, the _Yahoos_ appear to be the most
+unteachable of all animals, their capacity never reaching higher than
+to draw or carry burdens. Yet I am of opinion this defect arises
+chiefly from a perverse, restive disposition; for they are cunning,
+malicious, treacherous, and revengeful. They are strong and hardy, but
+of a cowardly spirit, and, by consequence, insolent, abject, and cruel.
+It is observed, that the red haired of both sexes are more libidinous
+and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed in strength
+and activity.
+
+The _Houyhnhnms_ keep the _Yahoos_ for present use in huts not far from
+the house; but the rest are sent abroad to certain fields, where they
+dig up roots, eat several kinds of herbs, and search about for carrion,
+or sometimes catch weasels and _luhimuhs_ (a sort of wild rat), which
+they greedily devour. Nature has taught them to dig deep holes with
+their nails on the side of a rising ground, wherein they lie by
+themselves; only the kennels of the females are larger, sufficient to
+hold two or three cubs.
+
+They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue long
+under water, where they often take fish, which the females carry home
+to their young. And, upon this occasion, I hope the reader will pardon
+my relating an odd adventure.
+
+Being one day abroad with my protector the sorrel nag, and the weather
+exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a river that was
+near. He consented, and I immediately stripped myself stark naked, and
+went down softly into the stream. It happened that a young female
+_Yahoo_, standing behind a bank, saw the whole proceeding, and inflamed
+by desire, as the nag and I conjectured, came running with all speed,
+and leaped into the water, within five yards of the place where I
+bathed. I was never in my life so terribly frightened. The nag was
+grazing at some distance, not suspecting any harm. She embraced me
+after a most fulsome manner. I roared as loud as I could, and the nag
+came galloping towards me, whereupon she quitted her grasp, with the
+utmost reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite bank, where she stood
+gazing and howling all the time I was putting on my clothes.
+
+This was a matter of diversion to my master and his family, as well as
+of mortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny that I was a
+real _Yahoo_ in every limb and feature, since the females had a natural
+propensity to me, as one of their own species. Neither was the hair of
+this brute of a red colour (which might have been some excuse for an
+appetite a little irregular), but black as a sloe, and her countenance
+did not make an appearance altogether so hideous as the rest of her
+kind; for I think she could not be above eleven years old.
+
+Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I suppose, will
+expect that I should, like other travellers, give him some account of
+the manners and customs of its inhabitants, which it was indeed my
+principal study to learn.
+
+As these noble _Houyhnhnms_ are endowed by nature with a general
+disposition to all virtues, and have no conceptions or ideas of what is
+evil in a rational creature, so their grand maxim is, to cultivate
+reason, and to be wholly governed by it. Neither is reason among them a
+point problematical, as with us, where men can argue with plausibility
+on both sides of the question, but strikes you with immediate
+conviction; as it must needs do, where it is not mingled, obscured, or
+discoloured, by passion and interest. I remember it was with extreme
+difficulty that I could bring my master to understand the meaning of
+the word opinion, or how a point could be disputable; because reason
+taught us to affirm or deny only where we are certain; and beyond our
+knowledge we cannot do either. So that controversies, wranglings,
+disputes, and positiveness, in false or dubious propositions, are evils
+unknown among the _Houyhnhnms_. In the like manner, when I used to
+explain to him our several systems of natural philosophy, he would
+laugh, “that a creature pretending to reason, should value itself upon
+the knowledge of other people’s conjectures, and in things where that
+knowledge, if it were certain, could be of no use.” Wherein he agreed
+entirely with the sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers them; which
+I mention as the highest honour I can do that prince of philosophers. I
+have often since reflected, what destruction such doctrine would make
+in the libraries of Europe; and how many paths of fame would be then
+shut up in the learned world.
+
+Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among the
+_Houyhnhnms_; and these not confined to particular objects, but
+universal to the whole race; for a stranger from the remotest part is
+equally treated with the nearest neighbour, and wherever he goes, looks
+upon himself as at home. They preserve decency and civility in the
+highest degrees, but are altogether ignorant of ceremony. They have no
+fondness for their colts or foals, but the care they take in educating
+them proceeds entirely from the dictates of reason. And I observed my
+master to show the same affection to his neighbour’s issue, that he had
+for his own. They will have it that nature teaches them to love the
+whole species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of
+persons, where there is a superior degree of virtue.
+
+When the matron _Houyhnhnms_ have produced one of each sex, they no
+longer accompany with their consorts, except they lose one of their
+issue by some casualty, which very seldom happens; but in such a case
+they meet again; or when the like accident befalls a person whose wife
+is past bearing, some other couple bestow on him one of their own
+colts, and then go together again until the mother is pregnant. This
+caution is necessary, to prevent the country from being overburdened
+with numbers. But the race of inferior _Houyhnhnms_, bred up to be
+servants, is not so strictly limited upon this article: these are
+allowed to produce three of each sex, to be domestics in the noble
+families.
+
+In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such colours as
+will not make any disagreeable mixture in the breed. Strength is
+chiefly valued in the male, and comeliness in the female; not upon the
+account of love, but to preserve the race from degenerating; for where
+a female happens to excel in strength, a consort is chosen, with regard
+to comeliness.
+
+Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements have no place in
+their thoughts, or terms whereby to express them in their language. The
+young couple meet, and are joined, merely because it is the
+determination of their parents and friends; it is what they see done
+every day, and they look upon it as one of the necessary actions of a
+reasonable being. But the violation of marriage, or any other
+unchastity, was never heard of; and the married pair pass their lives
+with the same friendship and mutual benevolence, that they bear to all
+others of the same species who come in their way, without jealousy,
+fondness, quarrelling, or discontent.
+
+In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is admirable, and
+highly deserves our imitation. These are not suffered to taste a grain
+of oats, except upon certain days, till eighteen years old; nor milk,
+but very rarely; and in summer they graze two hours in the morning, and
+as many in the evening, which their parents likewise observe; but the
+servants are not allowed above half that time, and a great part of
+their grass is brought home, which they eat at the most convenient
+hours, when they can be best spared from work.
+
+Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons
+equally enjoined to the young ones of both sexes: and my master thought
+it monstrous in us, to give the females a different kind of education
+from the males, except in some articles of domestic management;
+whereby, as he truly observed, one half of our natives were good for
+nothing but bringing children into the world; and to trust the care of
+our children to such useless animals, he said, was yet a greater
+instance of brutality.
+
+But the _Houyhnhnms_ train up their youth to strength, speed, and
+hardiness, by exercising them in running races up and down steep hills,
+and over hard stony grounds; and when they are all in a sweat, they are
+ordered to leap over head and ears into a pond or river. Four times a
+year the youth of a certain district meet to show their proficiency in
+running and leaping, and other feats of strength and agility; where the
+victor is rewarded with a song in his or her praise. On this festival,
+the servants drive a herd of _Yahoos_ into the field, laden with hay,
+and oats, and milk, for a repast to the _Houyhnhnms_; after which,
+these brutes are immediately driven back again, for fear of being
+noisome to the assembly.
+
+Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representative
+council of the whole nation, which meets in a plain about twenty miles
+from our house, and continues about five or six days. Here they inquire
+into the state and condition of the several districts; whether they
+abound or be deficient in hay or oats, or cows, or _Yahoos_; and
+wherever there is any want (which is but seldom) it is immediately
+supplied by unanimous consent and contribution. Here likewise the
+regulation of children is settled: as for instance, if a _Houyhnhnm_
+has two males, he changes one of them with another that has two
+females; and when a child has been lost by any casualty, where the
+mother is past breeding, it is determined what family in the district
+shall breed another to supply the loss.
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+A grand debate at the general assembly of the _Houyhnhnms_, and how it
+was determined. The learning of the _Houyhnhnms_. Their buildings.
+Their manner of burials. The defectiveness of their language.
+
+
+One of these grand assemblies was held in my time, about three months
+before my departure, whither my master went as the representative of
+our district. In this council was resumed their old debate, and indeed
+the only debate that ever happened in their country; whereof my master,
+after his return, gave me a very particular account.
+
+The question to be debated was, “whether the _Yahoos_ should be
+exterminated from the face of the earth?” One of the members for the
+affirmative offered several arguments of great strength and weight,
+alleging, “that as the _Yahoos_ were the most filthy, noisome, and
+deformed animals which nature ever produced, so they were the most
+restive and indocible, mischievous and malicious; they would privately
+suck the teats of the _Houyhnhnms’_ cows, kill and devour their cats,
+trample down their oats and grass, if they were not continually
+watched, and commit a thousand other extravagancies.” He took notice of
+a general tradition, “that _Yahoos_ had not been always in their
+country; but that many ages ago, two of these brutes appeared together
+upon a mountain; whether produced by the heat of the sun upon corrupted
+mud and slime, or from the ooze and froth of the sea, was never known;
+that these _Yahoos_ engendered, and their brood, in a short time, grew
+so numerous as to overrun and infest the whole nation; that the
+_Houyhnhnms_, to get rid of this evil, made a general hunting, and at
+last enclosed the whole herd; and destroying the elder, every
+_Houyhnhnm_ kept two young ones in a kennel, and brought them to such a
+degree of tameness, as an animal, so savage by nature, can be capable
+of acquiring, using them for draught and carriage; that there seemed to
+be much truth in this tradition, and that those creatures could not be
+_yinhniamshy_ (or _aborigines_ of the land), because of the violent
+hatred the _Houyhnhnms_, as well as all other animals, bore them,
+which, although their evil disposition sufficiently deserved, could
+never have arrived at so high a degree if they had been _aborigines_,
+or else they would have long since been rooted out; that the
+inhabitants, taking a fancy to use the service of the _Yahoos_, had,
+very imprudently, neglected to cultivate the breed of asses, which are
+a comely animal, easily kept, more tame and orderly, without any
+offensive smell, strong enough for labour, although they yield to the
+other in agility of body, and if their braying be no agreeable sound,
+it is far preferable to the horrible howlings of the _Yahoos_.”
+
+Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose, when my
+master proposed an expedient to the assembly, whereof he had indeed
+borrowed the hint from me. “He approved of the tradition mentioned by
+the honourable member who spoke before, and affirmed, that the two
+_Yahoos_ said to be seen first among them, had been driven thither over
+the sea; that coming to land, and being forsaken by their companions,
+they retired to the mountains, and degenerating by degrees, became in
+process of time much more savage than those of their own species in the
+country whence these two originals came. The reason of this assertion
+was, that he had now in his possession a certain wonderful _Yahoo_
+(meaning myself) which most of them had heard of, and many of them had
+seen. He then related to them how he first found me; that my body was
+all covered with an artificial composure of the skins and hairs of
+other animals; that I spoke in a language of my own, and had thoroughly
+learned theirs; that I had related to him the accidents which brought
+me thither; that when he saw me without my covering, I was an exact
+_Yahoo_ in every part, only of a whiter colour, less hairy, and with
+shorter claws. He added, how I had endeavoured to persuade him, that in
+my own and other countries, the _Yahoos_ acted as the governing,
+rational animal, and held the _Houyhnhnms_ in servitude; that he
+observed in me all the qualities of a _Yahoo_, only a little more
+civilized by some tincture of reason, which, however, was in a degree
+as far inferior to the _Houyhnhnm_ race, as the _Yahoos_ of their
+country were to me; that, among other things, I mentioned a custom we
+had of castrating _Houyhnhnms_ when they were young, in order to render
+them tame; that the operation was easy and safe; that it was no shame
+to learn wisdom from brutes, as industry is taught by the ant, and
+building by the swallow (for so I translate the word _lyhannh_,
+although it be a much larger fowl); that this invention might be
+practised upon the younger _Yahoos_ here, which besides rendering them
+tractable and fitter for use, would in an age put an end to the whole
+species, without destroying life; that in the mean time the
+_Houyhnhnms_ should be exhorted to cultivate the breed of asses, which,
+as they are in all respects more valuable brutes, so they have this
+advantage, to be fit for service at five years old, which the others
+are not till twelve.”
+
+This was all my master thought fit to tell me, at that time, of what
+passed in the grand council. But he was pleased to conceal one
+particular, which related personally to myself, whereof I soon felt the
+unhappy effect, as the reader will know in its proper place, and whence
+I date all the succeeding misfortunes of my life.
+
+The _Houyhnhnms_ have no letters, and consequently their knowledge is
+all traditional. But there happening few events of any moment among a
+people so well united, naturally disposed to every virtue, wholly
+governed by reason, and cut off from all commerce with other nations,
+the historical part is easily preserved without burdening their
+memories. I have already observed that they are subject to no diseases,
+and therefore can have no need of physicians. However, they have
+excellent medicines, composed of herbs, to cure accidental bruises and
+cuts in the pastern or frog of the foot, by sharp stones, as well as
+other maims and hurts in the several parts of the body.
+
+They calculate the year by the revolution of the sun and moon, but use
+no subdivisions into weeks. They are well enough acquainted with the
+motions of those two luminaries, and understand the nature of eclipses;
+and this is the utmost progress of their astronomy.
+
+In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals; wherein the
+justness of their similes, and the minuteness as well as exactness of
+their descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their verses abound very
+much in both of these, and usually contain either some exalted notions
+of friendship and benevolence or the praises of those who were victors
+in races and other bodily exercises. Their buildings, although very
+rude and simple, are not inconvenient, but well contrived to defend
+them from all injuries of cold and heat. They have a kind of tree,
+which at forty years old loosens in the root, and falls with the first
+storm: it grows very straight, and being pointed like stakes with a
+sharp stone (for the _Houyhnhnms_ know not the use of iron), they stick
+them erect in the ground, about ten inches asunder, and then weave in
+oat straw, or sometimes wattles, between them. The roof is made after
+the same manner, and so are the doors.
+
+The _Houyhnhnms_ use the hollow part, between the pastern and the hoof
+of their fore-foot, as we do our hands, and this with greater dexterity
+than I could at first imagine. I have seen a white mare of our family
+thread a needle (which I lent her on purpose) with that joint. They
+milk their cows, reap their oats, and do all the work which requires
+hands, in the same manner. They have a kind of hard flints, which, by
+grinding against other stones, they form into instruments, that serve
+instead of wedges, axes, and hammers. With tools made of these flints,
+they likewise cut their hay, and reap their oats, which there grow
+naturally in several fields; the _Yahoos_ draw home the sheaves in
+carriages, and the servants tread them in certain covered huts to get
+out the grain, which is kept in stores. They make a rude kind of
+earthen and wooden vessels, and bake the former in the sun.
+
+If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are buried
+in the obscurest places that can be found, their friends and relations
+expressing neither joy nor grief at their departure; nor does the dying
+person discover the least regret that he is leaving the world, any more
+than if he were upon returning home from a visit to one of his
+neighbours. I remember my master having once made an appointment with a
+friend and his family to come to his house, upon some affair of
+importance: on the day fixed, the mistress and her two children came
+very late; she made two excuses, first for her husband, who, as she
+said, happened that very morning to _shnuwnh_. The word is strongly
+expressive in their language, but not easily rendered into English; it
+signifies, “to retire to his first mother.” Her excuse for not coming
+sooner, was, that her husband dying late in the morning, she was a good
+while consulting her servants about a convenient place where his body
+should be laid; and I observed, she behaved herself at our house as
+cheerfully as the rest. She died about three months after.
+
+They live generally to seventy, or seventy-five years, very seldom to
+fourscore. Some weeks before their death, they feel a gradual decay;
+but without pain. During this time they are much visited by their
+friends, because they cannot go abroad with their usual ease and
+satisfaction. However, about ten days before their death, which they
+seldom fail in computing, they return the visits that have been made
+them by those who are nearest in the neighbourhood, being carried in a
+convenient sledge drawn by _Yahoos_; which vehicle they use, not only
+upon this occasion, but when they grow old, upon long journeys, or when
+they are lamed by any accident: and therefore when the dying
+_Houyhnhnms_ return those visits, they take a solemn leave of their
+friends, as if they were going to some remote part of the country,
+where they designed to pass the rest of their lives.
+
+I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the _Houyhnhnms_
+have no word in their language to express any thing that is evil,
+except what they borrow from the deformities or ill qualities of the
+_Yahoos_. Thus they denote the folly of a servant, an omission of a
+child, a stone that cuts their feet, a continuance of foul or
+unseasonable weather, and the like, by adding to each the epithet of
+_Yahoo_. For instance, _hhnm Yahoo_; _whnaholm Yahoo_, _ynlhmndwihlma
+Yahoo_, and an ill-contrived house _ynholmhnmrohlnw Yahoo_.
+
+I could, with great pleasure, enlarge further upon the manners and
+virtues of this excellent people; but intending in a short time to
+publish a volume by itself, expressly upon that subject, I refer the
+reader thither; and, in the mean time, proceed to relate my own sad
+catastrophe.
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+The author’s economy, and happy life among the Houyhnhnms. His great
+improvement in virtue by conversing with them. Their conversations. The
+author has notice given him by his master, that he must depart from the
+country. He falls into a swoon for grief; but submits. He contrives and
+finishes a canoe by the help of a fellow-servant, and puts to sea at a
+venture.
+
+
+I had settled my little economy to my own heart’s content. My master
+had ordered a room to be made for me, after their manner, about six
+yards from the house: the sides and floors of which I plastered with
+clay, and covered with rush-mats of my own contriving. I had beaten
+hemp, which there grows wild, and made of it a sort of ticking; this I
+filled with the feathers of several birds I had taken with springes
+made of _Yahoos’_ hairs, and were excellent food. I had worked two
+chairs with my knife, the sorrel nag helping me in the grosser and more
+laborious part. When my clothes were worn to rags, I made myself others
+with the skins of rabbits, and of a certain beautiful animal, about the
+same size, called _nnuhnoh_, the skin of which is covered with a fine
+down. Of these I also made very tolerable stockings. I soled my shoes
+with wood, which I cut from a tree, and fitted to the upper-leather;
+and when this was worn out, I supplied it with the skins of _Yahoos_
+dried in the sun. I often got honey out of hollow trees, which I
+mingled with water, or ate with my bread. No man could more verify the
+truth of these two maxims, “That nature is very easily satisfied;” and,
+“That necessity is the mother of invention.” I enjoyed perfect health
+of body, and tranquillity of mind; I did not feel the treachery or
+inconstancy of a friend, nor the injuries of a secret or open enemy. I
+had no occasion of bribing, flattering, or pimping, to procure the
+favour of any great man, or of his minion; I wanted no fence against
+fraud or oppression: here was neither physician to destroy my body, nor
+lawyer to ruin my fortune; no informer to watch my words and actions,
+or forge accusations against me for hire: here were no gibers,
+censurers, backbiters, pickpockets, highwaymen, housebreakers,
+attorneys, bawds, buffoons, gamesters, politicians, wits, splenetics,
+tedious talkers, controvertists, ravishers, murderers, robbers,
+virtuosos; no leaders, or followers, of party and faction; no
+encouragers to vice, by seducement or examples; no dungeon, axes,
+gibbets, whipping-posts, or pillories; no cheating shopkeepers or
+mechanics; no pride, vanity, or affectation; no fops, bullies,
+drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes; no ranting, lewd, expensive
+wives; no stupid, proud pedants; no importunate, overbearing,
+quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited, swearing companions; no
+scoundrels raised from the dust upon the merit of their vices, or
+nobility thrown into it on account of their virtues; no lords,
+fiddlers, judges, or dancing-masters.
+
+I had the favour of being admitted to several _Houyhnhnms_, who came to
+visit or dine with my master; where his honour graciously suffered me
+to wait in the room, and listen to their discourse. Both he and his
+company would often descend to ask me questions, and receive my
+answers. I had also sometimes the honour of attending my master in his
+visits to others. I never presumed to speak, except in answer to a
+question; and then I did it with inward regret, because it was a loss
+of so much time for improving myself; but I was infinitely delighted
+with the station of an humble auditor in such conversations, where
+nothing passed but what was useful, expressed in the fewest and most
+significant words; where, as I have already said, the greatest decency
+was observed, without the least degree of ceremony; where no person
+spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his companions; where
+there was no interruption, tediousness, heat, or difference of
+sentiments. They have a notion, that when people are met together, a
+short silence does much improve conversation: this I found to be true;
+for during those little intermissions of talk, new ideas would arise in
+their minds, which very much enlivened the discourse. Their subjects
+are, generally on friendship and benevolence, on order and economy;
+sometimes upon the visible operations of nature, or ancient traditions;
+upon the bounds and limits of virtue; upon the unerring rules of
+reason, or upon some determinations to be taken at the next great
+assembly: and often upon the various excellences of poetry. I may add,
+without vanity, that my presence often gave them sufficient matter for
+discourse, because it afforded my master an occasion of letting his
+friends into the history of me and my country, upon which they were all
+pleased to descant, in a manner not very advantageous to humankind: and
+for that reason I shall not repeat what they said; only I may be
+allowed to observe, that his honour, to my great admiration, appeared
+to understand the nature of _Yahoos_ much better than myself. He went
+through all our vices and follies, and discovered many, which I had
+never mentioned to him, by only supposing what qualities a _Yahoo_ of
+their country, with a small proportion of reason, might be capable of
+exerting; and concluded, with too much probability, “how vile, as well
+as miserable, such a creature must be.”
+
+I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I have of any value,
+was acquired by the lectures I received from my master, and from
+hearing the discourses of him and his friends; to which I should be
+prouder to listen, than to dictate to the greatest and wisest assembly
+in Europe. I admired the strength, comeliness, and speed of the
+inhabitants; and such a constellation of virtues, in such amiable
+persons, produced in me the highest veneration. At first, indeed, I did
+not feel that natural awe, which the _Yahoos_ and all other animals
+bear toward them; but it grew upon me by degrees, much sooner than I
+imagined, and was mingled with a respectful love and gratitude, that
+they would condescend to distinguish me from the rest of my species.
+
+When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the human
+race in general, I considered them, as they really were, _Yahoos_ in
+shape and disposition, perhaps a little more civilized, and qualified
+with the gift of speech; but making no other use of reason, than to
+improve and multiply those vices whereof their brethren in this country
+had only the share that nature allotted them. When I happened to behold
+the reflection of my own form in a lake or fountain, I turned away my
+face in horror and detestation of myself, and could better endure the
+sight of a common _Yahoo_ than of my own person. By conversing with the
+_Houyhnhnms_, and looking upon them with delight, I fell to imitate
+their gait and gesture, which is now grown into a habit; and my friends
+often tell me, in a blunt way, “that I trot like a horse;” which,
+however, I take for a great compliment. Neither shall I disown, that in
+speaking I am apt to fall into the voice and manner of the
+_Houyhnhnms_, and hear myself ridiculed on that account, without the
+least mortification.
+
+In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself to be
+fully settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a little
+earlier than his usual hour. I observed by his countenance that he was
+in some perplexity, and at a loss how to begin what he had to speak.
+After a short silence, he told me, “he did not know how I would take
+what he was going to say: that in the last general assembly, when the
+affair of the _Yahoos_ was entered upon, the representatives had taken
+offence at his keeping a _Yahoo_ (meaning myself) in his family, more
+like a _Houyhnhnm_ than a brute animal; that he was known frequently to
+converse with me, as if he could receive some advantage or pleasure in
+my company; that such a practice was not agreeable to reason or nature,
+or a thing ever heard of before among them; the assembly did therefore
+exhort him either to employ me like the rest of my species, or command
+me to swim back to the place whence I came: that the first of these
+expedients was utterly rejected by all the _Houyhnhnms_ who had ever
+seen me at his house or their own; for they alleged, that because I had
+some rudiments of reason, added to the natural pravity of those
+animals, it was to be feared I might be able to seduce them into the
+woody and mountainous parts of the country, and bring them in troops by
+night to destroy the _Houyhnhnms’_ cattle, as being naturally of the
+ravenous kind, and averse from labour.”
+
+My master added, “that he was daily pressed by the _Houyhnhnms_ of the
+neighbourhood to have the assembly’s exhortation executed, which he
+could not put off much longer. He doubted it would be impossible for me
+to swim to another country; and therefore wished I would contrive some
+sort of vehicle, resembling those I had described to him, that might
+carry me on the sea; in which work I should have the assistance of his
+own servants, as well as those of his neighbours.” He concluded, “that
+for his own part, he could have been content to keep me in his service
+as long as I lived; because he found I had cured myself of some bad
+habits and dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as my inferior nature
+was capable, to imitate the _Houyhnhnms_.”
+
+I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the general
+assembly in this country is expressed by the word _hnhloayn_, which
+signifies an exhortation, as near as I can render it; for they have no
+conception how a rational creature can be compelled, but only advised,
+or exhorted; because no person can disobey reason, without giving up
+his claim to be a rational creature.
+
+I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master’s
+discourse; and being unable to support the agonies I was under, I fell
+into a swoon at his feet. When I came to myself, he told me “that he
+concluded I had been dead;” for these people are subject to no such
+imbecilities of nature. I answered in a faint voice, “that death would
+have been too great a happiness; that although I could not blame the
+assembly’s exhortation, or the urgency of his friends; yet, in my weak
+and corrupt judgment, I thought it might consist with reason to have
+been less rigorous; that I could not swim a league, and probably the
+nearest land to theirs might be distant above a hundred: that many
+materials, necessary for making a small vessel to carry me off, were
+wholly wanting in this country; which, however, I would attempt, in
+obedience and gratitude to his honour, although I concluded the thing
+to be impossible, and therefore looked on myself as already devoted to
+destruction; that the certain prospect of an unnatural death was the
+least of my evils; for, supposing I should escape with life by some
+strange adventure, how could I think with temper of passing my days
+among _Yahoos_, and relapsing into my old corruptions, for want of
+examples to lead and keep me within the paths of virtue? That I knew
+too well upon what solid reasons all the determinations of the wise
+_Houyhnhnms_ were founded, not to be shaken by arguments of mine, a
+miserable _Yahoo_; and therefore, after presenting him with my humble
+thanks for the offer of his servants’ assistance in making a vessel,
+and desiring a reasonable time for so difficult a work, I told him I
+would endeavour to preserve a wretched being; and if ever I returned to
+England, was not without hopes of being useful to my own species, by
+celebrating the praises of the renowned _Houyhnhnms_, and proposing
+their virtues to the imitation of mankind.”
+
+My master, in a few words, made me a very gracious reply; allowed me
+the space of two months to finish my boat; and ordered the sorrel nag,
+my fellow-servant (for so, at this distance, I may presume to call
+him), to follow my instruction; because I told my master, “that his
+help would be sufficient, and I knew he had a tenderness for me.”
+
+In his company, my first business was to go to that part of the coast
+where my rebellious crew had ordered me to be set on shore. I got upon
+a height, and looking on every side into the sea; fancied I saw a small
+island toward the north-east. I took out my pocket glass, and could
+then clearly distinguish it above five leagues off, as I computed; but
+it appeared to the sorrel nag to be only a blue cloud: for as he had no
+conception of any country beside his own, so he could not be as expert
+in distinguishing remote objects at sea, as we who so much converse in
+that element.
+
+After I had discovered this island, I considered no further; but
+resolved it should, if possible, be the first place of my banishment,
+leaving the consequence to fortune.
+
+I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into a
+copse at some distance, where I with my knife, and he with a sharp
+flint, fastened very artificially after their manner, to a wooden
+handle, cut down several oak wattles, about the thickness of a
+walking-staff, and some larger pieces. But I shall not trouble the
+reader with a particular description of my own mechanics; let it
+suffice to say, that in six weeks time with the help of the sorrel nag,
+who performed the parts that required most labour, I finished a sort of
+Indian canoe, but much larger, covering it with the skins of _Yahoos_,
+well stitched together with hempen threads of my own making. My sail
+was likewise composed of the skins of the same animal; but I made use
+of the youngest I could get, the older being too tough and thick; and I
+likewise provided myself with four paddles. I laid in a stock of boiled
+flesh, of rabbits and fowls, and took with me two vessels, one filled
+with milk and the other with water.
+
+I tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master’s house, and then
+corrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the chinks with _Yahoos’_
+tallow, till I found it staunch, and able to bear me and my freight;
+and, when it was as complete as I could possibly make it, I had it
+drawn on a carriage very gently by _Yahoos_ to the sea-side, under the
+conduct of the sorrel nag and another servant.
+
+When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took leave of
+my master and lady and the whole family, my eyes flowing with tears,
+and my heart quite sunk with grief. But his honour, out of curiosity,
+and, perhaps, (if I may speak without vanity,) partly out of kindness,
+was determined to see me in my canoe, and got several of his
+neighbouring friends to accompany him. I was forced to wait above an
+hour for the tide; and then observing the wind very fortunately bearing
+toward the island to which I intended to steer my course, I took a
+second leave of my master; but as I was going to prostrate myself to
+kiss his hoof, he did me the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. I
+am not ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning this last
+particular. Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so
+illustrious a person should descend to give so great a mark of
+distinction to a creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgotten
+how apt some travellers are to boast of extraordinary favours they have
+received. But, if these censurers were better acquainted with the noble
+and courteous disposition of the _Houyhnhnms_, they would soon change
+their opinion.
+
+I paid my respects to the rest of the _Houyhnhnms_ in his honour’s
+company; then getting into my canoe, I pushed off from shore.
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+The author’s dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland, hoping to
+settle there. Is wounded with an arrow by one of the natives. Is seized
+and carried by force into a Portuguese ship. The great civilities of
+the captain. The author arrives at England.
+
+
+I began this desperate voyage on February 15, 1714–15, at nine o’clock
+in the morning. The wind was very favourable; however, I made use at
+first only of my paddles; but considering I should soon be weary, and
+that the wind might chop about, I ventured to set up my little sail;
+and thus, with the help of the tide, I went at the rate of a league and
+a half an hour, as near as I could guess. My master and his friends
+continued on the shore till I was almost out of sight; and I often
+heard the sorrel nag (who always loved me) crying out, “_Hnuy illa
+nyha_, _majah Yahoo_;” “Take care of thyself, gentle _Yahoo_.”
+
+My design was, if possible, to discover some small island uninhabited,
+yet sufficient, by my labour, to furnish me with the necessaries of
+life, which I would have thought a greater happiness, than to be first
+minister in the politest court of Europe; so horrible was the idea I
+conceived of returning to live in the society, and under the government
+of _Yahoos_. For in such a solitude as I desired, I could at least
+enjoy my own thoughts, and reflect with delight on the virtues of those
+inimitable _Houyhnhnms_, without an opportunity of degenerating into
+the vices and corruptions of my own species.
+
+The reader may remember what I related, when my crew conspired against
+me, and confined me to my cabin; how I continued there several weeks
+without knowing what course we took; and when I was put ashore in the
+long-boat, how the sailors told me, with oaths, whether true or false,
+“that they knew not in what part of the world we were.” However, I did
+then believe us to be about 10 degrees southward of the Cape of Good
+Hope, or about 45 degrees southern latitude, as I gathered from some
+general words I overheard among them, being I supposed to the
+south-east in their intended voyage to Madagascar. And although this
+were little better than conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my course
+eastward, hoping to reach the south-west coast of New Holland, and
+perhaps some such island as I desired lying westward of it. The wind
+was full west, and by six in the evening I computed I had gone eastward
+at least eighteen leagues; when I spied a very small island about half
+a league off, which I soon reached. It was nothing but a rock, with one
+creek naturally arched by the force of tempests. Here I put in my
+canoe, and climbing a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land
+to the east, extending from south to north. I lay all night in my
+canoe; and repeating my voyage early in the morning, I arrived in seven
+hours to the south-east point of New Holland. This confirmed me in the
+opinion I have long entertained, that the maps and charts place this
+country at least three degrees more to the east than it really is;
+which thought I communicated many years ago to my worthy friend, Mr.
+Herman Moll, and gave him my reasons for it, although he has rather
+chosen to follow other authors.
+
+I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being unarmed, I
+was afraid of venturing far into the country. I found some shellfish on
+the shore, and ate them raw, not daring to kindle a fire, for fear of
+being discovered by the natives. I continued three days feeding on
+oysters and limpets, to save my own provisions; and I fortunately found
+a brook of excellent water, which gave me great relief.
+
+On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty
+or thirty natives upon a height not above five hundred yards from me.
+They were stark naked, men, women, and children, round a fire, as I
+could discover by the smoke. One of them spied me, and gave notice to
+the rest; five of them advanced toward me, leaving the women and
+children at the fire. I made what haste I could to the shore, and,
+getting into my canoe, shoved off: the savages, observing me retreat,
+ran after me; and before I could get far enough into the sea,
+discharged an arrow which wounded me deeply on the inside of my left
+knee: I shall carry the mark to my grave. I apprehended the arrow might
+be poisoned, and paddling out of the reach of their darts (being a calm
+day), I made a shift to suck the wound, and dress it as well as I
+could.
+
+I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same
+landing-place, but stood to the north, and was forced to paddle, for
+the wind, though very gentle, was against me, blowing north-west. As I
+was looking about for a secure landing-place, I saw a sail to the
+north-north-east, which appearing every minute more visible, I was in
+some doubt whether I should wait for them or not; but at last my
+detestation of the _Yahoo_ race prevailed: and turning my canoe, I
+sailed and paddled together to the south, and got into the same creek
+whence I set out in the morning, choosing rather to trust myself among
+these barbarians, than live with European _Yahoos_. I drew up my canoe
+as close as I could to the shore, and hid myself behind a stone by the
+little brook, which, as I have already said, was excellent water.
+
+The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent her
+long-boat with vessels to take in fresh water (for the place, it seems,
+was very well known); but I did not observe it, till the boat was
+almost on shore; and it was too late to seek another hiding-place. The
+seamen at their landing observed my canoe, and rummaging it all over,
+easily conjectured that the owner could not be far off. Four of them,
+well armed, searched every cranny and lurking-hole, till at last they
+found me flat on my face behind the stone. They gazed awhile in
+admiration at my strange uncouth dress; my coat made of skins, my
+wooden-soled shoes, and my furred stockings; whence, however, they
+concluded, I was not a native of the place, who all go naked. One of
+the seamen, in Portuguese, bid me rise, and asked who I was. I
+understood that language very well, and getting upon my feet, said, “I
+was a poor _Yahoo_ banished from the _Houyhnhnms_, and desired they
+would please to let me depart.” They admired to hear me answer them in
+their own tongue, and saw by my complexion I must be a European; but
+were at a loss to know what I meant by _Yahoos_ and _Houyhnhnms_; and
+at the same time fell a-laughing at my strange tone in speaking, which
+resembled the neighing of a horse. I trembled all the while betwixt
+fear and hatred. I again desired leave to depart, and was gently moving
+to my canoe; but they laid hold of me, desiring to know, “what country
+I was of? whence I came?” with many other questions. I told them “I was
+born in England, whence I came about five years ago, and then their
+country and ours were at peace. I therefore hoped they would not treat
+me as an enemy, since I meant them no harm, but was a poor _Yahoo_
+seeking some desolate place where to pass the remainder of his
+unfortunate life.”
+
+When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing more
+unnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a dog or a cow
+should speak in England, or a _Yahoo_ in _Houyhnhnmland_. The honest
+Portuguese were equally amazed at my strange dress, and the odd manner
+of delivering my words, which, however, they understood very well. They
+spoke to me with great humanity, and said, “they were sure the captain
+would carry me _gratis_ to Lisbon, whence I might return to my own
+country; that two of the seamen would go back to the ship, inform the
+captain of what they had seen, and receive his orders; in the mean
+time, unless I would give my solemn oath not to fly, they would secure
+me by force. I thought it best to comply with their proposal. They were
+very curious to know my story, but I gave them very little
+satisfaction, and they all conjectured that my misfortunes had impaired
+my reason. In two hours the boat, which went laden with vessels of
+water, returned, with the captain’s command to fetch me on board. I
+fell on my knees to preserve my liberty; but all was in vain; and the
+men, having tied me with cords, heaved me into the boat, whence I was
+taken into the ship, and thence into the captain’s cabin.
+
+His name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous and generous
+person. He entreated me to give some account of myself, and desired to
+know what I would eat or drink; said, “I should be used as well as
+himself;” and spoke so many obliging things, that I wondered to find
+such civilities from a _Yahoo_. However, I remained silent and sullen;
+I was ready to faint at the very smell of him and his men. At last I
+desired something to eat out of my own canoe; but he ordered me a
+chicken, and some excellent wine, and then directed that I should be
+put to bed in a very clean cabin. I would not undress myself, but lay
+on the bed-clothes, and in half an hour stole out, when I thought the
+crew was at dinner, and getting to the side of the ship, was going to
+leap into the sea, and swim for my life, rather than continue among
+_Yahoos_. But one of the seamen prevented me, and having informed the
+captain, I was chained to my cabin.
+
+After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my reason for
+so desperate an attempt; assured me, “he only meant to do me all the
+service he was able;” and spoke so very movingly, that at last I
+descended to treat him like an animal which had some little portion of
+reason. I gave him a very short relation of my voyage; of the
+conspiracy against me by my own men; of the country where they set me
+on shore, and of my five years residence there. All which he looked
+upon as if it were a dream or a vision; whereat I took great offence;
+for I had quite forgot the faculty of lying, so peculiar to _Yahoos_,
+in all countries where they preside, and, consequently, their
+disposition of suspecting truth in others of their own species. I asked
+him, “whether it were the custom in his country to say the thing which
+was not?” I assured him, “I had almost forgot what he meant by
+falsehood, and if I had lived a thousand years in _Houyhnhnmland_, I
+should never have heard a lie from the meanest servant; that I was
+altogether indifferent whether he believed me or not; but, however, in
+return for his favours, I would give so much allowance to the
+corruption of his nature, as to answer any objection he would please to
+make, and then he might easily discover the truth.”
+
+The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me tripping in
+some part of my story, at last began to have a better opinion of my
+veracity. But he added, “that since I professed so inviolable an
+attachment to truth, I must give him my word and honour to bear him
+company in this voyage, without attempting any thing against my life;
+or else he would continue me a prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon.” I
+gave him the promise he required; but at the same time protested, “that
+I would suffer the greatest hardships, rather than return to live among
+_Yahoos_.”
+
+Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In gratitude to
+the captain, I sometimes sat with him, at his earnest request, and
+strove to conceal my antipathy against humankind, although it often
+broke out; which he suffered to pass without observation. But the
+greatest part of the day I confined myself to my cabin, to avoid seeing
+any of the crew. The captain had often entreated me to strip myself of
+my savage dress, and offered to lend me the best suit of clothes he
+had. This I would not be prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover
+myself with any thing that had been on the back of a _Yahoo_. I only
+desired he would lend me two clean shirts, which, having been washed
+since he wore them, I believed would not so much defile me. These I
+changed every second day, and washed them myself.
+
+We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the captain forced
+me to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble from crowding
+about me. I was conveyed to his own house; and at my earnest request he
+led me up to the highest room backwards. I conjured him “to conceal
+from all persons what I had told him of the _Houyhnhnms_; because the
+least hint of such a story would not only draw numbers of people to see
+me, but probably put me in danger of being imprisoned, or burnt by the
+Inquisition.” The captain persuaded me to accept a suit of clothes
+newly made; but I would not suffer the tailor to take my measure;
+however, Don Pedro being almost of my size, they fitted me well enough.
+He accoutred me with other necessaries, all new, which I aired for
+twenty-four hours before I would use them.
+
+The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which were
+suffered to attend at meals; and his whole deportment was so obliging,
+added to very good human understanding, that I really began to tolerate
+his company. He gained so far upon me, that I ventured to look out of
+the back window. By degrees I was brought into another room, whence I
+peeped into the street, but drew my head back in a fright. In a week’s
+time he seduced me down to the door. I found my terror gradually
+lessened, but my hatred and contempt seemed to increase. I was at last
+bold enough to walk the street in his company, but kept my nose well
+stopped with rue, or sometimes with tobacco.
+
+In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my domestic
+affairs, put it upon me, as a matter of honour and conscience, “that I
+ought to return to my native country, and live at home with my wife and
+children.” He told me, “there was an English ship in the port just
+ready to sail, and he would furnish me with all things necessary.” It
+would be tedious to repeat his arguments, and my contradictions. He
+said, “it was altogether impossible to find such a solitary island as I
+desired to live in; but I might command in my own house, and pass my
+time in a manner as recluse as I pleased.”
+
+I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the
+24th day of November, in an English merchantman, but who was the master
+I never inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the ship, and lent me
+twenty pounds. He took kind leave of me, and embraced me at parting,
+which I bore as well as I could. During this last voyage I had no
+commerce with the master or any of his men; but, pretending I was sick,
+kept close in my cabin. On the fifth of December, 1715, we cast anchor
+in the Downs, about nine in the morning, and at three in the afternoon
+I got safe to my house at Rotherhith. [546]
+
+My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy, because
+they concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess the sight
+of them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and contempt; and the
+more, by reflecting on the near alliance I had to them. For although,
+since my unfortunate exile from the _Houyhnhnm_ country, I had
+compelled myself to tolerate the sight of _Yahoos_, and to converse
+with Don Pedro de Mendez, yet my memory and imagination were
+perpetually filled with the virtues and ideas of those exalted
+_Houyhnhnms_. And when I began to consider that, by copulating with one
+of the _Yahoo_ species I had become a parent of more, it struck me with
+the utmost shame, confusion, and horror.
+
+As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and kissed
+me; at which, having not been used to the touch of that odious animal
+for so many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an hour. At the time
+I am writing, it is five years since my last return to England. During
+the first year, I could not endure my wife or children in my presence;
+the very smell of them was intolerable; much less could I suffer them
+to eat in the same room. To this hour they dare not presume to touch my
+bread, or drink out of the same cup, neither was I ever able to let one
+of them take me by the hand. The first money I laid out was to buy two
+young stone-horses, which I keep in a good stable; and next to them,
+the groom is my greatest favourite, for I feel my spirits revived by
+the smell he contracts in the stable. My horses understand me tolerably
+well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are
+strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me and
+friendship to each other.
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+The author’s veracity. His design in publishing this work. His censure
+of those travellers who swerve from the truth. The author clears
+himself from any sinister ends in writing. An objection answered. The
+method of planting colonies. His native country commended. The right of
+the crown to those countries described by the author is justified. The
+difficulty of conquering them. The author takes his last leave of the
+reader; proposes his manner of living for the future; gives good
+advice, and concludes.
+
+
+Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my travels
+for sixteen years and above seven months: wherein I have not been so
+studious of ornament as of truth. I could, perhaps, like others, have
+astonished thee with strange improbable tales; but I rather chose to
+relate plain matter of fact, in the simplest manner and style; because
+my principal design was to inform, and not to amuse thee.
+
+It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are seldom
+visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form descriptions of
+wonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a traveller’s chief aim
+should be to make men wiser and better, and to improve their minds by
+the bad, as well as good, example of what they deliver concerning
+foreign places.
+
+I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller, before
+he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be obliged to make
+oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that all he intended to print was
+absolutely true to the best of his knowledge; for then the world would
+no longer be deceived, as it usually is, while some writers, to make
+their works pass the better upon the public, impose the grossest
+falsities on the unwary reader. I have perused several books of travels
+with great delight in my younger days; but having since gone over most
+parts of the globe, and been able to contradict many fabulous accounts
+from my own observation, it has given me a great disgust against this
+part of reading, and some indignation to see the credulity of mankind
+so impudently abused. Therefore, since my acquaintance were pleased to
+think my poor endeavours might not be unacceptable to my country, I
+imposed on myself, as a maxim never to be swerved from, that I would
+strictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the least
+temptation to vary from it, while I retain in my mind the lectures and
+example of my noble master and the other illustrious _Houyhnhnms_ of
+whom I had so long the honour to be an humble hearer.
+
+
+_—Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem_
+
+_Finxit_, _vanum etiam_, _mendacemque improba finget_.
+
+I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings which
+require neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other talent,
+except a good memory, or an exact journal. I know likewise, that
+writers of travels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk into oblivion by
+the weight and bulk of those who come last, and therefore lie
+uppermost. And it is highly probable, that such travellers, who shall
+hereafter visit the countries described in this work of mine, may, by
+detecting my errors (if there be any), and adding many new discoveries
+of their own, jostle me out of vogue, and stand in my place, making the
+world forget that ever I was an author. This indeed would be too great
+a mortification, if I wrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the
+public good, I cannot be altogether disappointed. For who can read of
+the virtues I have mentioned in the glorious _Houyhnhnms_, without
+being ashamed of his own vices, when he considers himself as the
+reasoning, governing animal of his country? I shall say nothing of
+those remote nations where _Yahoos_ preside; among which the least
+corrupted are the _Brobdingnagians_; whose wise maxims in morality and
+government it would be our happiness to observe. But I forbear
+descanting further, and rather leave the judicious reader to his own
+remarks and application.
+
+I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet with
+no censurers: for what objections can be made against a writer, who
+relates only plain facts, that happened in such distant countries,
+where we have not the least interest, with respect either to trade or
+negotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with which common
+writers of travels are often too justly charged. Besides, I meddle not
+the least with any party, but write without passion, prejudice, or
+ill-will against any man, or number of men, whatsoever. I write for the
+noblest end, to inform and instruct mankind; over whom I may, without
+breach of modesty, pretend to some superiority, from the advantages I
+received by conversing so long among the most accomplished
+_Houyhnhnms_. I write without any view to profit or praise. I never
+suffer a word to pass that may look like reflection, or possibly give
+the least offence, even to those who are most ready to take it. So that
+I hope I may with justice pronounce myself an author perfectly
+blameless; against whom the tribes of Answerers, Considerers,
+Observers, Reflectors, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to find
+matter for exercising their talents.
+
+I confess, it was whispered to me, “that I was bound in duty, as a
+subject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of state
+at my first coming over; because, whatever lands are discovered by a
+subject belong to the crown.” But I doubt whether our conquests in the
+countries I treat of would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez
+over the naked Americans. The _Lilliputians_, I think, are hardly worth
+the charge of a fleet and army to reduce them; and I question whether
+it might be prudent or safe to attempt the _Brobdingnagians_; or
+whether an English army would be much at their ease with the Flying
+Island over their heads. The _Houyhnhnms_ indeed appear not to be so
+well prepared for war, a science to which they are perfect strangers,
+and especially against missive weapons. However, supposing myself to be
+a minister of state, I could never give my advice for invading them.
+Their prudence, unanimity, unacquaintedness with fear, and their love
+of their country, would amply supply all defects in the military art.
+Imagine twenty thousand of them breaking into the midst of an European
+army, confounding the ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the
+warriors’ faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their hinder hoofs.
+For they would well deserve the character given to Augustus,
+_Recalcitrat undique tutus_. But, instead of proposals for conquering
+that magnanimous nation, I rather wish they were in a capacity, or
+disposition, to send a sufficient number of their inhabitants for
+civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first principles of honour,
+justice, truth, temperance, public spirit, fortitude, chastity,
+friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The names of all which virtues
+are still retained among us in most languages, and are to be met with
+in modern, as well as ancient authors; which I am able to assert from
+my own small reading.
+
+But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge his
+majesty’s dominions by my discoveries. To say the truth, I had
+conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of
+princes upon those occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are
+driven by a storm they know not whither; at length a boy discovers land
+from the topmast; they go on shore to rob and plunder, they see a
+harmless people, are entertained with kindness; they give the country a
+new name; they take formal possession of it for their king; they set up
+a rotten plank, or a stone, for a memorial; they murder two or three
+dozen of the natives, bring away a couple more, by force, for a sample;
+return home, and get their pardon. Here commences a new dominion
+acquired with a title by divine right. Ships are sent with the first
+opportunity; the natives driven out or destroyed; their princes
+tortured to discover their gold; a free license given to all acts of
+inhumanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its
+inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so pious
+an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and civilize an
+idolatrous and barbarous people!
+
+But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the British
+nation, who may be an example to the whole world for their wisdom,
+care, and justice in planting colonies; their liberal endowments for
+the advancement of religion and learning; their choice of devout and
+able pastors to propagate Christianity; their caution in stocking their
+provinces with people of sober lives and conversations from this the
+mother kingdom; their strict regard to the distribution of justice, in
+supplying the civil administration through all their colonies with
+officers of the greatest abilities, utter strangers to corruption; and,
+to crown all, by sending the most vigilant and virtuous governors, who
+have no other views than the happiness of the people over whom they
+preside, and the honour of the king their master.
+
+But as those countries which I have described do not appear to have any
+desire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or driven out by
+colonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco, I did
+humbly conceive, they were by no means proper objects of our zeal, our
+valour, or our interest. However, if those whom it more concerns think
+fit to be of another opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall be
+lawfully called, that no European did ever visit those countries before
+me. I mean, if the inhabitants ought to be believed, unless a dispute
+may arise concerning the two _Yahoos_, said to have been seen many
+years ago upon a mountain in _Houyhnhnmland_, from whence the opinion
+is, that the race of those brutes hath descended; and these, for
+anything I know, may have been English, which indeed I was apt to
+suspect from the lineaments of their posterity’s countenances, although
+very much defaced. But, how far that will go to make out a title, I
+leave to the learned in colony-law.
+
+But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign’s name,
+it never came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as my affairs
+then stood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and
+self-preservation, have put it off to a better opportunity.
+
+Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised against
+me as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my courteous
+readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my little garden at
+Redriff; to apply those excellent lessons of virtue which I learned
+among the _Houyhnhnms_; to instruct the _Yahoos_ of my own family, as
+far as I shall find them docible animals; to behold my figure often in
+a glass, and thus, if possible, habituate myself by time to tolerate
+the sight of a human creature; to lament the brutality to _Houyhnhnms_
+in my own country, but always treat their persons with respect, for the
+sake of my noble master, his family, his friends, and the whole
+_Houyhnhnm_ race, whom these of ours have the honour to resemble in all
+their lineaments, however their intellectuals came to degenerate.
+
+I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at the
+farthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the utmost
+brevity) the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a _Yahoo_
+continuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped with rue,
+lavender, or tobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for a man late in
+life to remove old habits, I am not altogether out of hopes, in some
+time, to suffer a neighbour _Yahoo_ in my company, without the
+apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or his claws.
+
+My reconcilement to the _Yahoo_-kind in general might not be so
+difficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies only
+which nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at
+the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a
+gamester, a politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a
+suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to
+the due course of things: but when I behold a lump of deformity and
+diseases, both in body and mind, smitten with pride, it immediately
+breaks all the measures of my patience; neither shall I be ever able to
+comprehend how such an animal, and such a vice, could tally together.
+The wise and virtuous _Houyhnhnms_, who abound in all excellences that
+can adorn a rational creature, have no name for this vice in their
+language, which has no terms to express any thing that is evil, except
+those whereby they describe the detestable qualities of their _Yahoos_,
+among which they were not able to distinguish this of pride, for want
+of thoroughly understanding human nature, as it shows itself in other
+countries where that animal presides. But I, who had more experience,
+could plainly observe some rudiments of it among the wild _Yahoos_.
+
+
+But the _Houyhnhnms_, who live under the government of reason, are no
+more proud of the good qualities they possess, than I should be for not
+wanting a leg or an arm; which no man in his wits would boast of,
+although he must be miserable without them. I dwell the longer upon
+this subject from the desire I have to make the society of an English
+_Yahoo_ by any means not insupportable; and therefore I here entreat
+those who have any tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not
+presume to come in my sight.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[301] A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.
+
+[330] An act of parliament has been since passed by which some breaches
+of trust have been made capital.
+
+[454a] Britannia.—_Sir W. Scott_.
+
+[454b] London.—_Sir W. Scott_.
+
+[455] This is the revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766). The
+above paragraph in the original editions (1726) takes another form,
+commencing:—“I told him that should I happen to live in a kingdom where
+lots were in vogue,” &c. The names Tribnia and Langden are not
+mentioned, and the “close stool” and its signification do not occur.
+
+[514] This paragraph is not in the original editions.
+
+[546] The original editions and Hawksworth’s have Rotherhith here,
+though earlier in the work, Redriff is said to have been Gulliver’s
+home in England.